To ask for your ideas to take petty revenges on an uninvited guest?

[guestsareinvited]

Because of boring and longwinded reasons, I can't currently prevent this person from coming to stay with me whenever they like. But I don't have to treat them like a guest, because guests are invited. I have plans in place to renounce this obviously terrible arrangement as soon as possible, but in the meantime I am relieving my frustrations by plotting small, petty revenge's that aren't unreasonable.

(They have a lovey home of their own, and don't really want to stay here. They are choosing to be here specifically because they know I don't want them and to make the point that they still can. It's silly and childish and I didn't choose it. They did, and are also deliberately prolonging the situation. There's nothing to do but laugh about it, and this is intended to be in jest. Although I can't promise I won't put one or two into practice if there are good suggestions.....)

I'm sorry about this situation! Here's a suggestion that I would not implement but that might amuse you. I have a friend who became VERY eco-friendly and decided on these toilet rules - no flushing for number ones and no toilet paper. For number twos there were little flannels that were left in a bin and washed when they had accumulated. It certainly put off visitors! I still remember the saying 'if it's yellow let it mellow' or something, it was enough to deter anyone.

@NoahDia
‘Who owns or rents the house?
If it's you then they are your guest.
And this thread is ridiculous’

Well I think it’s hilarious. It’s because you haven’t been in this situation.
😂

Gosh, lighten up! OP meant this to be a lighthearted rant, some of you have no sense of humour

Do all the above. Im here for petty.

I thought PITA mil and your DH refuses to tell them to leave or an ex partner being difficult, if you tell us who it is we can give better advice.

I buy mine from Pets@Home (I have snakes.)

Surely given the mother owns the property, if she gets pissed off whilst visiting because the OP has made her life uncomfortable… she’ll just kick out the OP.

The mother is the one with the power in this scenario!

This....

Sorry,
I did not come across your reasons until much later.
I now understand your predicament, but do not understand your Mother's motives.
Surely she cannot enjoy her stay as an unwanted intruder.

It's pointless telling people of for having "no sense of humour". Humour is, of course, subjective.

am not going to put itching powder on the loo roll or dead mice in her bed. But it’s making us laugh instead of gritting my teeth

Woiuld this really make you laugh? I genuinely can't see anything even vaguely funny,

I can't believe any adults would invite themselves in this way. Change the locks, switch off everything and go away for a week. They can afford a hotel so let them find one. If you can't afford it, suggest you just house swap or ask a neighbour to take you in.

Absolutely love pettiness

Go and stay with a friend or relative

I will send you my daughter who will talk incessantly about K Pop and play K Pop until your mum needs to leave.
However this may mean you

1. go insane
2. become a K Pop fan

For what it's worth, I wouldn't pay her any rent for the weeks she is staying with you.

🤣

I fear that even if she did suddenly decide on a reasonable price, she'd still find ways to be an absolute nightmare seller.

Is the house actually on the market, could you find a proxy buyer?

laxative in their coffee.

Seriously they do not have to stay tell them to fuck off.

If you go ahead snd try and buy from her OP, be prepared for months and possibly years of her messing solicitirs about, changing her mind on things etc rgc. Surely you know that even the most straight forward house sales can take six months to complete. Sounds like she would pull out at the last minute just to spite you, and you'd have wasted thousands on solicitors by that point. Surely another house which has absolutely nothing to do with her is a far more appealing option?!

Yes, I know how long it takes to buy houses, and I know what solicitors cost. She won’t do anything that will make her look publicly unreasonable or defy authority she respects. Classic bullying - she only abuses where she has power and where nobody is watching.

It’s not a normal house, and would suit us in ways that aren’t easy to find. It’s cheap (or should be) because it needs a LOT of work, but I’ve also done a lot of work here and I know what the issues are - that is a lot of the battle with renovations, and the reason they often go wrong. I also know the area, and issues with neighbours etc. Those are worth a lot to me. If it was as easy as ‘buy another house’ I would. (Well, I will. But it’s life changing and I am invested in this life, and there is a very significant cost in terms of time and capital to balance it against. If I could just buy a new build 3 bed semi, without totally de-railing my life and livelihood, I absolutely would)

😂

Oh, this? Anonymously buy it, @guestsareinvited ? Is this possible?