To ask for your ideas to take petty revenges on an uninvited guest?

[guestsareinvited]

Because of boring and longwinded reasons, I can't currently prevent this person from coming to stay with me whenever they like. But I don't have to treat them like a guest, because guests are invited. I have plans in place to renounce this obviously terrible arrangement as soon as possible, but in the meantime I am relieving my frustrations by plotting small, petty revenge's that aren't unreasonable.

(They have a lovey home of their own, and don't really want to stay here. They are choosing to be here specifically because they know I don't want them and to make the point that they still can. It's silly and childish and I didn't choose it. They did, and are also deliberately prolonging the situation. There's nothing to do but laugh about it, and this is intended to be in jest. Although I can't promise I won't put one or two into practice if there are good suggestions.....)

This sounds like my DM heaven pillow🤣

Wifi off, heating off. Noisy DIY that really needs doing.

Genius, well done

I've really enjoyed this thread ...

We used to have one of those novelty clocks that did various bird sounds every hour, drove my visiting MIL nuts ... I thought I'd set it so it turned off during the night, apparently I was wrong.
Stayed at a friends who collected Marie Osmond dolls, displayed in glass cases, in their spare room. Hundreds of eyes watching me .... https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/1709660375/vtg-marie-osmond-adorable-raggedy-anne?ls=r&external=1&rec_type=ss&ref=pla_similar_listing_top-1&content_source=0c1a2acf35f9efa5bb39891b8e591f53%253ALTadff07e47a27ca418d384f6654c564b943691261&logging_key=0c1a2acf35f9efa5bb39891b8e591f53%3ALTadff07e47a27ca418d384f6654c564b943691261

A nice meaty kipper under the mattress, or some other piece of furniture! My father assured me that it is a sure fire way of deterring unwanted visitors.

replace toothpaste/ pile cream etc with Vicks Vapor rub.

I know this isn’t the nature of the post but I hope you are paying mates rates. If the property is not up to speck and no certification she couldn’t rent. Also the rent of a house is a completely different ballgame. Lodger would pay less rent than someone who has sole occupancy.

It sounds like she is doing this for some twisted reason. Perhaps control. She knows you don’t want her there. Perhaps it would change if you acted like really pleased she was there. You would have to think of a story. Perhaps you heard/read a sad story and it made you think live was short. That you should cherish time together. Make a big thing about time spent together. Think of activities you can do together. Perhaps a hobby that you know she will hate but act like you are passionate about it. Act like you are trying to make up for the time you didn’t appreciate her being there. Hopefully the visits will lose appeal.

Or make out things are broken. Like the washing machine. Feign no clean underwear (actually new ones) so need to boil in the kettle.

Start coughing—a lot. Then, apologize profusely while leaning in way too close. 'I am so sorry, it’s just this annoying cough! I feel totally fine. Anyway, want to split this muffin?'

Your mum is really not nice charging you rent. Considering the property would be empty and not rented otherwise.
She should be happy its heated and mantained.

@guestsareinvited And you've no milk or sugar in, oops!

What is this? I do not want to google it!

am loving this thread and the evil suggestions, well apart from the stupid ones telling you to stink out and ruin the house you are renting and have to live in

Quite! So many of them as well!

@guestsareinvited Change the WiFi password but tell the guest it's not working and an engineer will be coming to resolve the issue in... ooooh, 3 months? It's the soonest you could arrange! Of course, they won't actually be about to resolve on this date so this outage will go on and on....

Surely her Mum will see her and her daughter using the WiFi though? Smart TV, phones etc. the girl is doing revision.

Wow if these are all similar level they you REALLY hate B&H soap

They're using their data allowance and hotspotting at great expense, which the mother will likewise have to do.

what about doing a setup for an onlyfans studio ? @guestsareinvited

Grease the front path, they night not even manage to get to the door.

Begin teaching yourself recorder/ bagpipes/ violin.... after a week invite the rest of the band to come and practice at your house every morning before work.

Hang wind chimes outside their window

@guestsareinvited

There really have been some great suggestions! 😂 I have enjoyed your thread too.

I totally understand your sticking with it until exams are over, so glad you’re looking now though.

I understand it’s more hassle to move again, but given what you’ve described about your mother, no way would I buy her home if I were you. A fresh start.

I would seriously consider going NC afterwards though. She doesn’t need to know where your new home is, it could be the best opportunity to do so!!

I hope the responses help you and your daughter get through the next few months with, like you say, a bit of light relief.

Good luck and I hope your DD does well!

Surely pretty disruptive for your daughter to have her granny visit and then her mum & gran war for a few weeks, granny leaves, and then…. Cycle repeated again.

Yes, I wondered something along these lines. She’s coming extra because you wanted her less…. Try the old reverse psychology approach if that’s how she works 🤔

Any shop that sells food for reptiles. It's easy

Yes, it can't be easy for her in that situation.