Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

No, Dubai.. we’re not jealous. We’re just exhausted by the algorithm shoving endless, braggy content down our feeds during what might be the start of a world war, one that already involves British people on the ground.

549 replies

surelycantjustbeme · 06/03/2026 06:51

I’m venting here, as a former expat sick of being pushed content from influencers who know nothing about the realities of living there under terms that don’t involve government cash to push a blindfolded, tone deaf narrative.

Dubai is the ultimate symbol of moral compromise, a glossy façade masking hypocrisy. Nowhere else do you see people who once mocked or feared Muslims flocking to Muslim lands to live comfortably off their wealth.

Certain professions thrive in their own sheltered bubbles, teachers, for example, rarely look beyond their privileged expat circles.

Parents who gush about loving their children casually employ underpaid nannies, often Filipina women who’ve left their own children behind. The usual defence? “She earns more here than back home.” Conveniently ignoring the exploitative system that brought her there. Hypocrisy in full view.

In a supposedly Muslim state, the same rules of faith vanish when profit or expat comfort is at stake. Alcohol flows freely, prostitution thrives, gambling exists, pork is sold, and dogs fill parks, all justified under the umbrella of “keeping expats happy.”

Many defend the government’s heavy control as if to prove their choice to stay is right. They need that illusion. Meanwhile, the state ensures expats feel “safe” because their satisfaction is profitable.

What influencers call “hate” toward Dubai isn’t jealousy. It’s frustration, frustration at how proudly expats flaunt a lifestyle while belittling their home countries, still benefiting from UK systems without paying a penny of tax. It’s tone-deafness wrapped in sunshine and skyline filters.

I know because I lived there. I arrived with good intentions to work hard, save, go home. But within a few years, I was buried in credit card debt, battling an eating disorder, and clinging to delusions just to survive mentally.

It’s easy to adopt the spin/ the narrative of safety, success, and superiority, because the system is designed to make you believe it.

People are tired of the influencer nonsense: clickbait, fake engagement, pretentious “Dubai life” hype. Every smug clip of a sunset or a skyline feels like rubbing salt in collective anxiety, especially while the UK faces uncertainty, fear, and political messes. The contrast feels cruel.

Dubai isn’t a real place, it’s a business model. A well-oiled corporation with immaculate branding and impeccable control over perception. It’s proof that humans will do almost anything for money.

They’ll mute moral conflict, ignore exploitation, and call it “success.”

Expats boast about how “safe” Dubai is compared to the UK, but that’s a narrow kind of safety, street-level safety, not emotional, financial, or existential safety. Is your job secure? Is your mental health stable? Are your rights protected? Safety for whom, the western professionals or the migrant workers living without basic freedoms?

In my view most expats won’t return home. Some can’t afford to. Debt, or the fear of losing status keep them trapped. Others left with problems they can’t face back in the UK. Many still defend Dubai fervently because admitting the truth would unravel years of self-justification.

It’s not far from a cult, everyone repeating the same comforting lines while ignoring what’s right in front of them.

I spent just over three years there. My profession wasn’t part of a protected bubble, so I met people from all walks of life. That distance gave me perspective. I changed, and yes, I too once repeated the same scripted defence to friends back home. It was easier to mask my unhappiness than face it.

Rant over.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
Marwoodsbigbreak · 06/03/2026 07:49

OP why are you still so obsessed with Dubai? You sound quite damaged by your experience there. Maybe counselling would help?

I have never seen anything about Dubai as nobody in my circle would consider going there and I don’t bother with influencers.

Get off SM and start living your life!

Flamingojune · 06/03/2026 07:49

nomas · 06/03/2026 07:47

It was good advice. Time to step away from the internet for a bit.

Would mumsnet exist if everyone did that? This should be a place to speak freely about these things without people trying to shut you down

nomas · 06/03/2026 07:50

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Generally if people have a bad experience somewhere, they try to move on from it.

It sounds like you had a bad experience and are ruminating on it to the extent that your social media feeds are upsetting you.

That is not a healthy mindset.

Strawberryfruitstarburst · 06/03/2026 07:51

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

You sound quite immature and not very worldly wise.

A lot of people on this thread have cracked how to use or not use Social Media to protect their peace. I’m sure there are real life things they care about and important topics they are passionate about.

surelycantjustbeme · 06/03/2026 07:52

Coffeeishot · 06/03/2026 07:49

You watch it because you like it you are morbidly fascinated you are not "researching." You are watching incase you miss soms tiktoker drama,

Morbidly fascinated? 😂 It’s a world war unfolding before my eyes, not exactly entertainment. I’ve got three children to think about, so of course I want to know where this is heading. You aren’t real.

OP posts:
nomas · 06/03/2026 07:53

Flamingojune · 06/03/2026 07:49

Would mumsnet exist if everyone did that? This should be a place to speak freely about these things without people trying to shut you down

No one is trying to shut the OP down.

But she is obsessing over a place that had her ‘buried in credit card debt, battling an eating disorder, and clinging to delusions just to survive mentally.’

Advising her to stop searching influencer videos and posts on SM is people trying to be helpful.

surelycantjustbeme · 06/03/2026 07:54

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

IsThisTheReaLife · 06/03/2026 07:54

Op..I think you are given a hard time. When I was in primary school, in the 1980s a family from our villiage in NE England to another country for a couple of years.

She came back with an amazing tan, and spoke about having servants, a huge house. and a swimming pool. The coumtry she lived in was South Africa.

Later, in the early 2000s a work colleague came back from Dubai. She was clearly being chased by debt collectors and spoke about how immigrant nannies were raising her boyfriend's child.

I am not making direct paralels beteeen apartheid SA and Dubai. But, the point I am making is the luxury is coming at the cost of cheap labour, which in real terms means peope living in hardship.

Yes, the UK has plenty of inequalities, but we also have a safety net.

ArticWillow · 06/03/2026 07:54

Surely this is the wrong time to rave about Dubai... show some compassion.

nomas · 06/03/2026 07:54

surelycantjustbeme · 06/03/2026 07:52

Morbidly fascinated? 😂 It’s a world war unfolding before my eyes, not exactly entertainment. I’ve got three children to think about, so of course I want to know where this is heading. You aren’t real.

If the war is worrying you, why aren’t you searching for Iran? Why Dubai which is barely affected?

Coffeeishot · 06/03/2026 07:54

I have never had anything regularly come up on my social media about the place i had relatives work there they had a "great life" but knew it was false but they were making money so made their money and left, there is no culture there is brunches private international schools and housing compouds with gates, i don't know why you are so fascinated.

Heronwatcher · 06/03/2026 07:55

surelycantjustbeme · 06/03/2026 07:33

I can’t just switch my algorithm and PP’s are suggesting, when the whole reason I’m on there is to research Dubai and understand what’s happening, to see how things might escalate. It’s not just about social media; it’s mainstream media and other news sources too.

That ‘switch your algorithm and pretend it’s not there’ attitude is the same as turning a blind eye in real life. If you don’t see it, it’s as if it doesn’t exist.

This is an absolutely mad attitude.

Dubai will still exist and sort itself out without you watching every reel produced! It’s not a “raise awareness” situation so you’re doing nothing useful. It sounds as though you’re overly invested and also not in the right headspace to follow it that closely.

Watch the news twice a day and move on/ focus on your own life. Don’t you work? Have a family? Friends? That is all much more important than a situation out of your control.

surelycantjustbeme · 06/03/2026 07:55

ArticWillow · 06/03/2026 07:54

Surely this is the wrong time to rave about Dubai... show some compassion.

Surely this is the wrong time to rave about how bad the state of the safety of the UK is… Show some compassion.

OP posts:
Flamingojune · 06/03/2026 07:55

ArticWillow · 06/03/2026 07:54

Surely this is the wrong time to rave about Dubai... show some compassion.

This is the right time to discuss it

Mapletree1985 · 06/03/2026 07:56

As someone who has consciously and deliberately organized her life to eliminate the need for as much material stuff as possible, I can safely say I don't envy the Dubai "influencers" in the least.... Unless they have a house full of books...hmm...

No, even that wouldn't be worth living in Dubai for.

TheTreesTheTrees · 06/03/2026 07:56

@surelycantjustbeme Your post rings with truth.

Screamingabdabz · 06/03/2026 07:57

surelycantjustbeme · 06/03/2026 07:52

Morbidly fascinated? 😂 It’s a world war unfolding before my eyes, not exactly entertainment. I’ve got three children to think about, so of course I want to know where this is heading. You aren’t real.

There is no war in Dubai - it's centred on Iran. There are a few drones being intercepted above Dubai that’s it. You have literally no reason to ‘research’ Dubai. Research Iran and US if you are truly trying to educate yourself. Or just watch mainstream journalist led news instead of relying on social media or influencers.

Heronwatcher · 06/03/2026 07:57

surelycantjustbeme · 06/03/2026 07:52

Morbidly fascinated? 😂 It’s a world war unfolding before my eyes, not exactly entertainment. I’ve got three children to think about, so of course I want to know where this is heading. You aren’t real.

But your original post had nothing to do with the US action in Iran? It was all about how people in Dubai shouldn’t evoke sympathy/ schadenfreude.

I honestly think you need a bit of time offline- you seem very confused.

FormFiller · 06/03/2026 07:57

I agree, even though I defended living there a few threads back. I did that, not because I like Dubai, but because I think living in the UK is not the utopia people think it is either.

I do agree with you about the place though. I was an expat for 16 and a bit years, but not in Dubai. I have spent a bit of time there though.

Ironically, my profession, when overseas was HR and recruitment of mainly expats. I often came across many expat men at the top of their game, who begged me to move them from Dubai to where I was stationed because their wives had given them an ultimatum to leave. This was due to the mens behaviour and I take it this was around the party lifestyle, prostitution, affairs etc.

From the insight I had when dealing with these men, it did come across that Dubai is basically a place that lacks any kind of morals and people get caught up in a lifestyle that in the ends becomes self destructive.

SodOffbacktoaibu · 06/03/2026 07:58

I think you write an interesting post, as someone who has never had the opportunity, interest in emigrating and never will.

Our world has never looked more morally corrupt and precarious. I think Dubai perfectly represents a lot of what is wrong with the world.

Tell you what I am sick of too.... simplistic and shutting people down type responses..."just delete the apps.... ". No wonder we're in such a mess. Nobody allowed to think deeper.

surelycantjustbeme · 06/03/2026 07:58

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Tauranga · 06/03/2026 07:59

surelycantjustbeme · 06/03/2026 06:51

I’m venting here, as a former expat sick of being pushed content from influencers who know nothing about the realities of living there under terms that don’t involve government cash to push a blindfolded, tone deaf narrative.

Dubai is the ultimate symbol of moral compromise, a glossy façade masking hypocrisy. Nowhere else do you see people who once mocked or feared Muslims flocking to Muslim lands to live comfortably off their wealth.

Certain professions thrive in their own sheltered bubbles, teachers, for example, rarely look beyond their privileged expat circles.

Parents who gush about loving their children casually employ underpaid nannies, often Filipina women who’ve left their own children behind. The usual defence? “She earns more here than back home.” Conveniently ignoring the exploitative system that brought her there. Hypocrisy in full view.

In a supposedly Muslim state, the same rules of faith vanish when profit or expat comfort is at stake. Alcohol flows freely, prostitution thrives, gambling exists, pork is sold, and dogs fill parks, all justified under the umbrella of “keeping expats happy.”

Many defend the government’s heavy control as if to prove their choice to stay is right. They need that illusion. Meanwhile, the state ensures expats feel “safe” because their satisfaction is profitable.

What influencers call “hate” toward Dubai isn’t jealousy. It’s frustration, frustration at how proudly expats flaunt a lifestyle while belittling their home countries, still benefiting from UK systems without paying a penny of tax. It’s tone-deafness wrapped in sunshine and skyline filters.

I know because I lived there. I arrived with good intentions to work hard, save, go home. But within a few years, I was buried in credit card debt, battling an eating disorder, and clinging to delusions just to survive mentally.

It’s easy to adopt the spin/ the narrative of safety, success, and superiority, because the system is designed to make you believe it.

People are tired of the influencer nonsense: clickbait, fake engagement, pretentious “Dubai life” hype. Every smug clip of a sunset or a skyline feels like rubbing salt in collective anxiety, especially while the UK faces uncertainty, fear, and political messes. The contrast feels cruel.

Dubai isn’t a real place, it’s a business model. A well-oiled corporation with immaculate branding and impeccable control over perception. It’s proof that humans will do almost anything for money.

They’ll mute moral conflict, ignore exploitation, and call it “success.”

Expats boast about how “safe” Dubai is compared to the UK, but that’s a narrow kind of safety, street-level safety, not emotional, financial, or existential safety. Is your job secure? Is your mental health stable? Are your rights protected? Safety for whom, the western professionals or the migrant workers living without basic freedoms?

In my view most expats won’t return home. Some can’t afford to. Debt, or the fear of losing status keep them trapped. Others left with problems they can’t face back in the UK. Many still defend Dubai fervently because admitting the truth would unravel years of self-justification.

It’s not far from a cult, everyone repeating the same comforting lines while ignoring what’s right in front of them.

I spent just over three years there. My profession wasn’t part of a protected bubble, so I met people from all walks of life. That distance gave me perspective. I changed, and yes, I too once repeated the same scripted defence to friends back home. It was easier to mask my unhappiness than face it.

Rant over.

You don't sound jealous, but you do sound bitter.

ZenNudist · 06/03/2026 07:59

Tldr

JSMill · 06/03/2026 08:00

I don’t know what the MN obsession with Dubai is. I wouldn’t really want to live there but I know plenty of people who have made it their home and thrived. They live healthy, balanced lives and manage to respect the local culture and language.

Flamingojune · 06/03/2026 08:00

Tauranga · 06/03/2026 07:59

You don't sound jealous, but you do sound bitter.

Well bitter's ok in the circumstances

Swipe left for the next trending thread