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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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No, Dubai.. we’re not jealous. We’re just exhausted by the algorithm shoving endless, braggy content down our feeds during what might be the start of a world war, one that already involves British people on the ground.

549 replies

surelycantjustbeme · 06/03/2026 06:51

I’m venting here, as a former expat sick of being pushed content from influencers who know nothing about the realities of living there under terms that don’t involve government cash to push a blindfolded, tone deaf narrative.

Dubai is the ultimate symbol of moral compromise, a glossy façade masking hypocrisy. Nowhere else do you see people who once mocked or feared Muslims flocking to Muslim lands to live comfortably off their wealth.

Certain professions thrive in their own sheltered bubbles, teachers, for example, rarely look beyond their privileged expat circles.

Parents who gush about loving their children casually employ underpaid nannies, often Filipina women who’ve left their own children behind. The usual defence? “She earns more here than back home.” Conveniently ignoring the exploitative system that brought her there. Hypocrisy in full view.

In a supposedly Muslim state, the same rules of faith vanish when profit or expat comfort is at stake. Alcohol flows freely, prostitution thrives, gambling exists, pork is sold, and dogs fill parks, all justified under the umbrella of “keeping expats happy.”

Many defend the government’s heavy control as if to prove their choice to stay is right. They need that illusion. Meanwhile, the state ensures expats feel “safe” because their satisfaction is profitable.

What influencers call “hate” toward Dubai isn’t jealousy. It’s frustration, frustration at how proudly expats flaunt a lifestyle while belittling their home countries, still benefiting from UK systems without paying a penny of tax. It’s tone-deafness wrapped in sunshine and skyline filters.

I know because I lived there. I arrived with good intentions to work hard, save, go home. But within a few years, I was buried in credit card debt, battling an eating disorder, and clinging to delusions just to survive mentally.

It’s easy to adopt the spin/ the narrative of safety, success, and superiority, because the system is designed to make you believe it.

People are tired of the influencer nonsense: clickbait, fake engagement, pretentious “Dubai life” hype. Every smug clip of a sunset or a skyline feels like rubbing salt in collective anxiety, especially while the UK faces uncertainty, fear, and political messes. The contrast feels cruel.

Dubai isn’t a real place, it’s a business model. A well-oiled corporation with immaculate branding and impeccable control over perception. It’s proof that humans will do almost anything for money.

They’ll mute moral conflict, ignore exploitation, and call it “success.”

Expats boast about how “safe” Dubai is compared to the UK, but that’s a narrow kind of safety, street-level safety, not emotional, financial, or existential safety. Is your job secure? Is your mental health stable? Are your rights protected? Safety for whom, the western professionals or the migrant workers living without basic freedoms?

In my view most expats won’t return home. Some can’t afford to. Debt, or the fear of losing status keep them trapped. Others left with problems they can’t face back in the UK. Many still defend Dubai fervently because admitting the truth would unravel years of self-justification.

It’s not far from a cult, everyone repeating the same comforting lines while ignoring what’s right in front of them.

I spent just over three years there. My profession wasn’t part of a protected bubble, so I met people from all walks of life. That distance gave me perspective. I changed, and yes, I too once repeated the same scripted defence to friends back home. It was easier to mask my unhappiness than face it.

Rant over.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
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surelycantjustbeme · 09/03/2026 10:41

Araminta1003 · 09/03/2026 10:22

You would never “knowingly”? Haha, more faux naivety from you.
No, I certainly do not live in Dubai, have not travelled there, would never go on a cruise either due to the carbon footprint.
Look every time you put the dishwasher, heating etc on here you are part of the problem. You are exploiting the developing world.
We have fooled ourselves into thinking we Westerners are special, deserve the huge carbon footprints we all have (starting from babyhood and up to 3 years in disposable nappies to keeping people alive well into their 90s at huge cost), to driving, to absolutely every part of our lifestyle. And then when other countries like eg Dubai start copying us and a Filipino nanny dares go there to send money home, they are the problem?
You OP are incredibly naive - perhaps if you got tricked in the first place and did not realise how immensely privileged you were being born a Westerner and yet you were so greedy you thought you deserved even more and should go somewhere better? And you are now preaching?
What is it exactly that is your problem? Guilt, the fact you did not realise how lucky you were born in eg England in the first place?

I honestly don’t even know why I’m still engaging with this nonsense.

You’ve never lived in Dubai, you haven’t even visited. So I can only assume you’re quite young and extremely naive. Yet you claim to know everything about the issues there, which is laughable. You’re an armchair warrior. You know nothing but push that you’re understanding is fact.

Your comparisons are beyond weak, equating the exploitation of foreign workers with Westerners using a dishwasher or going on a cruise is absurd.

And this: “a Filipino nanny dares go there to send money home, they are the problem?” No one in this thread has said the nanny is the problem. You’re clearly missing the point, which makes this whole exchange rather pointless.

I’ve shared my experience, and I’m accountable for my own life choices. That doesn’t make my reality or perspective any less valid. You’ve chosen to mock me for the decisions I’ve made, but I’d love to meet you someday and hear all about your perfect story.

OP posts:
surelycantjustbeme · 09/03/2026 10:49

CruCru · 09/03/2026 10:37

Hello SpidersAreShitheads

Sorry for being slow to reply to you. I wasn’t sure whether I wanted to return to the thread and there was quite a lot on this weekend. I’m also conscious that a long post on whether or not I think this might be AI is getting quite far off the original topic.

The original post is a rewritten version of a post the OP put up on another thread on Dubai (I advance searched … because I am a dork). It is possible that the OP has rewritten this herself to sound like a magazine article. If so, I would be sorry for saying that it is AI. Perhaps it is the sort of blueprint that AI posts are created from.

The other reason I suspected AI is that the OP got very aggressive very quickly once posters started disagreeing with her - to the point of getting her own posts deleted. This seems to happen a lot when a poster uses ChatGPT.

You’re completely wrong. I’ve commented on this topic elsewhere because it’s something I genuinely care about. That comment wasn’t as polished since it was part of someone else’s discussion, but this thread is one I started myself, a thought piece I put a lot of time and effort into. The information I’ve shared here is consistent with what I’ve said before because it comes from the same real experience. Every comment I post is part of an ongoing, genuine conversation. Surely if I were using Ai I would use it for all communication on here? You’re clutching, and it’s sad that’s all you can offer in this discussion.

OP posts:
Araminta1003 · 09/03/2026 10:54

No @surelycantjustbeme - I am not young and naive. Far from it, and I do have colleagues and friends who live in Dubai long term and are settled there.

I do not have a perfect story, nobody does.
The points I am making are valid. The carbon footprint of the Western World and the “we do not want to exploit our own” to feel good about ourselves, is why there are energy wars repetitively. We have known this to be the case for a very long time. Yet every single one of our politicians who tries to make changes is pushed back because of pricing issues.
So yes, you using energy here naively is always the problem. You pressing the button here exploits others worldwide. You are still using their labour, it is just more indirect to make you feel good about yourself. The fact that you still have not come full circle in your understanding of finance/energy/labour markets/world economies and power structures is rather worrying.
And the West is making the same mistakes again and again. Now allowing billionaire tech giants to replace human labour at huge energy costs and storing up even more wars for the future. Human labour in itself is a good thing. Machine powered labour with no clean energy source comes at a huge human cost. Are your going to deny that?

surelycantjustbeme · 09/03/2026 10:55

surelycantjustbeme · 09/03/2026 10:49

You’re completely wrong. I’ve commented on this topic elsewhere because it’s something I genuinely care about. That comment wasn’t as polished since it was part of someone else’s discussion, but this thread is one I started myself, a thought piece I put a lot of time and effort into. The information I’ve shared here is consistent with what I’ve said before because it comes from the same real experience. Every comment I post is part of an ongoing, genuine conversation. Surely if I were using Ai I would use it for all communication on here? You’re clutching, and it’s sad that’s all you can offer in this discussion.

And @CruCru I love that you’ve spent all
this time trying to dig up some dirt from across the Mumsnet platform, and that’s still all you’ve got 😂

Why are you so upset at me calling out people who lie and manipulate others online in exchange for quick cash, I wonder?

OP posts:
Araminta1003 · 09/03/2026 11:19

I doubt @CruCru is upset by any of it. It is just the bullshit faux naive posts and the AI style, the unknown username etc that none of us is going to trust OP. You need to do better.

surelycantjustbeme · 09/03/2026 11:31

Araminta1003 · 09/03/2026 11:19

I doubt @CruCru is upset by any of it. It is just the bullshit faux naive posts and the AI style, the unknown username etc that none of us is going to trust OP. You need to do better.

Ok, you’ll have to help me out here.

Please tell me, what “faux naive posts” and the “AI style” I think we’ve already cleared up. And as for the “unknown username”… don’t we all have unknown usernames?

OP posts:
surelycantjustbeme · 09/03/2026 11:46

I really should stop engaging in this, but the more I do, the clearer it becomes that these trolls are pushing a different agenda. They can’t actually challenge the points I’ve made, so they’ve resorted to petty, childish insults instead. One of my earlier comments about this got deleted, which makes me almost certain there’s a coordinated effort to attack discussions and discredit anyone offering real insight into what’s happening in Dubai, just like the influencers paid to promote a false image on social media.

There are of course some people here who seem like genuine people simply opposing my view, which is absolutely fine. But it’s clear which accounts are here to attack, poke, dig for dirt, and attack more, with no proper argument or contribution.

OP posts:
LifeAdminAlways · 09/03/2026 11:51

surelycantjustbeme · 09/03/2026 11:46

I really should stop engaging in this, but the more I do, the clearer it becomes that these trolls are pushing a different agenda. They can’t actually challenge the points I’ve made, so they’ve resorted to petty, childish insults instead. One of my earlier comments about this got deleted, which makes me almost certain there’s a coordinated effort to attack discussions and discredit anyone offering real insight into what’s happening in Dubai, just like the influencers paid to promote a false image on social media.

There are of course some people here who seem like genuine people simply opposing my view, which is absolutely fine. But it’s clear which accounts are here to attack, poke, dig for dirt, and attack more, with no proper argument or contribution.

You should report anyone accusing you of using AI. it’s very tedious and derails the thread.

surelycantjustbeme · 09/03/2026 11:53

LifeAdminAlways · 09/03/2026 11:51

You should report anyone accusing you of using AI. it’s very tedious and derails the thread.

That’s a good idea. I sense their strategy is to derail the thread, and I’m only enabling that by reacting.

OP posts:
CruCru · 09/03/2026 11:55

I will say that if my posts are offensive, do please report them to MN. They don’t mind and, if they agree that they are unhelpful, they will delete them.

I have been on MN for a long time (well over a decade). I don’t much like it when it becomes this combative.

The last time I was in Dubai was in 2002. I expect it will have changed a great deal since then. I remember someone saying that Dubai is a child - almost no one is from there. In many ways, I wonder if all the things people criticise Dubai for now would have once applied to other cities. Even London was once a new city without very much culture. It probably stank too.

Wellthisisdifficult · 09/03/2026 11:58

surelycantjustbeme · 09/03/2026 11:46

I really should stop engaging in this, but the more I do, the clearer it becomes that these trolls are pushing a different agenda. They can’t actually challenge the points I’ve made, so they’ve resorted to petty, childish insults instead. One of my earlier comments about this got deleted, which makes me almost certain there’s a coordinated effort to attack discussions and discredit anyone offering real insight into what’s happening in Dubai, just like the influencers paid to promote a false image on social media.

There are of course some people here who seem like genuine people simply opposing my view, which is absolutely fine. But it’s clear which accounts are here to attack, poke, dig for dirt, and attack more, with no proper argument or contribution.

I’ve noticed similar every thread about the Middle East tbh. But agree it seems to be especially bad on Dubai discussions.its quite scary in fact, but feeds into the situation over there that criticism could very well mean imprisonment. I will never go to Dubai, even just to change planes.

Araminta1003 · 09/03/2026 12:11

The “influencers” are not to blame for this war surely, nor do they deserve to be thrown into the fire. That is what I am objecting to. We are all complicit to a bigger or smaller extent. However, essentially I doubt this war would have happened in this form without the double whammy of Trump and Netanyahu.
All forms of Government are cultish one way or another. The US does believe itself to be culturally and morally superior and that has been the case for a very long time, and clearly we Europeans sort of sit as supposed innocent bystanders. Yes I believe in freedom and democracy, but at the same time I think the rape of the world we Westerners do in terms of greed of resources and self obsession is unforgivable. The influencing culture may be uncomfortable because it holds up a mirror to what we really are, believing ourselves and our belief systems to be superior to much of the rest of the world. Which clearly they are not.

What I object to is playing the victim and being sanctimonious at the same time OP. It is naive. Embrace your privilege and acknowledge it but stop judging others, especially not those caught up in a shit situation, not of their making. They are a reflection of their culture not the cause of it.
Small players going for other small players is cliched and distasteful. It is what the British media thrives on, playing people off to sell papers and supposed news.

surelycantjustbeme · 09/03/2026 12:19

Araminta1003 · 09/03/2026 12:11

The “influencers” are not to blame for this war surely, nor do they deserve to be thrown into the fire. That is what I am objecting to. We are all complicit to a bigger or smaller extent. However, essentially I doubt this war would have happened in this form without the double whammy of Trump and Netanyahu.
All forms of Government are cultish one way or another. The US does believe itself to be culturally and morally superior and that has been the case for a very long time, and clearly we Europeans sort of sit as supposed innocent bystanders. Yes I believe in freedom and democracy, but at the same time I think the rape of the world we Westerners do in terms of greed of resources and self obsession is unforgivable. The influencing culture may be uncomfortable because it holds up a mirror to what we really are, believing ourselves and our belief systems to be superior to much of the rest of the world. Which clearly they are not.

What I object to is playing the victim and being sanctimonious at the same time OP. It is naive. Embrace your privilege and acknowledge it but stop judging others, especially not those caught up in a shit situation, not of their making. They are a reflection of their culture not the cause of it.
Small players going for other small players is cliched and distasteful. It is what the British media thrives on, playing people off to sell papers and supposed news.

I’m not playing the victim, I’m owning my mistakes and sharing the insights I’ve gained from them.

You keep calling me sanctimonious, but surely I’m the one frustrated with and calling out truly sanctimonious people who get paid to manipulate others online, constantly belittle and shoot down the UK for no good reason. Especially during these times of such heightened anxiety and uncertainty.

OP posts:
Wellthisisdifficult · 09/03/2026 12:19

Araminta1003 · 09/03/2026 12:11

The “influencers” are not to blame for this war surely, nor do they deserve to be thrown into the fire. That is what I am objecting to. We are all complicit to a bigger or smaller extent. However, essentially I doubt this war would have happened in this form without the double whammy of Trump and Netanyahu.
All forms of Government are cultish one way or another. The US does believe itself to be culturally and morally superior and that has been the case for a very long time, and clearly we Europeans sort of sit as supposed innocent bystanders. Yes I believe in freedom and democracy, but at the same time I think the rape of the world we Westerners do in terms of greed of resources and self obsession is unforgivable. The influencing culture may be uncomfortable because it holds up a mirror to what we really are, believing ourselves and our belief systems to be superior to much of the rest of the world. Which clearly they are not.

What I object to is playing the victim and being sanctimonious at the same time OP. It is naive. Embrace your privilege and acknowledge it but stop judging others, especially not those caught up in a shit situation, not of their making. They are a reflection of their culture not the cause of it.
Small players going for other small players is cliched and distasteful. It is what the British media thrives on, playing people off to sell papers and supposed news.

I’m sorry, maybe you should blame the Iranian regime for decades of deadly oppression (especially against women), funding terrorists, their nuclear programme. Maybe blame the anti semitism esp in the Islamic Regimes (don’t forget one of the main reasons Islam was invented how it was, was to gain access to the Mediterranean through Jewish and Christian lands).

Maybe blame Dubai for selling its religious stand point to get money from the West. Blame them for the slavery and lack of care for its workers. Blame them for the censorship and oppression.

like it or not The West is the most advanced in terms of freedom of its citizens

Araminta1003 · 09/03/2026 13:15

I never said I was an Iranian regime apologist! Several wrongs do not make a right. Wars are always complex and there will be many facets conspiring together to lead to them. However, for the innocents involved, like children and civilians, they are always undeniably awful! And ultimately all wars are about power struggles amongst powerful men who think they know better and are superior to others and are framed as in the best interest of their own countries.

Also, it is hypocritical to criticise others for critiquing the UK when we have chosen freedom of speech as one of our fundamental freedoms to be proud of. Of course, it does come at a cost of people attention seeking and selling papers and exaggerating all sorts, but it is something we value.

SpidersAreShitheads · 09/03/2026 15:27

CruCru · 09/03/2026 10:37

Hello SpidersAreShitheads

Sorry for being slow to reply to you. I wasn’t sure whether I wanted to return to the thread and there was quite a lot on this weekend. I’m also conscious that a long post on whether or not I think this might be AI is getting quite far off the original topic.

The original post is a rewritten version of a post the OP put up on another thread on Dubai (I advance searched … because I am a dork). It is possible that the OP has rewritten this herself to sound like a magazine article. If so, I would be sorry for saying that it is AI. Perhaps it is the sort of blueprint that AI posts are created from.

The other reason I suspected AI is that the OP got very aggressive very quickly once posters started disagreeing with her - to the point of getting her own posts deleted. This seems to happen a lot when a poster uses ChatGPT.

Hi @CruCru - thanks for replying. I also stayed off this thread as it just felt like it’s quite a binary subject that was going in circles.

I appreciate your diligence 😂 And it makes sense now why you’d think it’s AI. I still think it’s not, and the similarity is probably just because the OP has rewritten her point of view. She’s a writer so it’s not difficult if you’re used to creating content. Also, I would say that all of her replies have the same style and degree of literacy as the OP, which further suggests she didn’t use AI. And of course, as I said earlier, it doesn’t sound like AI. Although AI is improving all of the time, it tends to give itself away with favourite phrases and grammatical structure.

I mentioned in my previous post that copywriting is an industry that’s dead in the water. But my copywriting skills are in demand for companies that train AI. This is why AI is continuing to sound more human; the copywriters that AI put out of work are being used to train AI to sound more like them.

Anyway, I won’t derail the thread by ranting about AI 😂 Thanks again for the considered reply and sorry if I sounded a bit arsey in my last post 🫣

CruCru · 09/03/2026 17:12

Hey, that’s cool, SpidersAreShitheads! It’s interesting to hear from someone in copywriting.

CruCru · 09/03/2026 17:19

Hi Araminta1003! I am sure you are no fan of the Iranian regime. Lots of people are really upset about the war. I keep forcing myself to stop doomscrolling on it.

Araminta1003 · 09/03/2026 19:30

Hi @CruCru - I don’t think I am doomscrolling too much! I do think Dubai are a victim in all of this and nobody expected Iran to attack their neighbours in this way. I find victim blaming extremely distasteful.
I also think the US needs to apologise formally if they struck that primary school in Iran which killed so many young girls. I am sorry but that haunts me.
None of this makes me an apologist for the Iranian regime though!
I really don’t think most of us Brits have appetite for this war and whilst I am no big Starmer fan, I am happy he is boring and a little wet and not like the rest of the war mongers. Pretty annoyed by Tony Blair‘s comments this morning. It appears men of that ilk never learn from their own mistakes and pursue their own dogmatic worldview until the bitter end, regardless of the human cost. Because ultimately their own belief in their own superiority and infallibility is what made them the type of narcissist drawn to that job in the first place.
So my conclusion is at least Starmer is no pathological narcissist.
The other positive I can see in all this doom and gloom and suffering is closer ties to our EU allies snd friends and closer cooperation there.

Cel77 · 09/03/2026 20:44

HeadDeskHeadDesk · 06/03/2026 18:36

What you are describing applies to most places in developing countries though. There are plenty of places in the world where the divide between rich and poor is very, very stark. I've been in Vietnam and Thailand and seen it. It's absolutely the case in India. It's just that it doesn't have the spotlight shone on it in those places in the same way that Dubai does.

Every time I hear people bang on about the exploitation and the divide between rich and poor in Dubai, like it's peculiar to there only, I just think 'Crikey, you haven't travelled much, have you?'

I've travelled quite a bit but chose not to stay in " tourist areas" as I hate that sort of travelling. I used to stay with people from the country or in hostels. I was young, granted, and I prefer Airbnb now I've got kids. I can't stand complexes. I'd much rather mix with the people who live there as I'm after authentic experiences rather than fake and pretentious ones.

iamnotalemon · 10/03/2026 03:41

Dufrense · 09/03/2026 10:35

I also think it's horrible to tell expats in Dubai (who moved for a better life) "oh I hope you enjoy all the bombs from Iran". Absolutely no one deserves that.

Edited

People really are cruel but it says more about the people saying that, than it does about the ones in Dubai.

I’ve seen on another thread people are saying about the increased costs of petrol and oil are affecting them. Ah, so now people care about what’s going on in the Middle East conflict. Not so funny now is it

SpidersAreShitheads · 10/03/2026 06:17

Araminta1003 · 09/03/2026 19:30

Hi @CruCru - I don’t think I am doomscrolling too much! I do think Dubai are a victim in all of this and nobody expected Iran to attack their neighbours in this way. I find victim blaming extremely distasteful.
I also think the US needs to apologise formally if they struck that primary school in Iran which killed so many young girls. I am sorry but that haunts me.
None of this makes me an apologist for the Iranian regime though!
I really don’t think most of us Brits have appetite for this war and whilst I am no big Starmer fan, I am happy he is boring and a little wet and not like the rest of the war mongers. Pretty annoyed by Tony Blair‘s comments this morning. It appears men of that ilk never learn from their own mistakes and pursue their own dogmatic worldview until the bitter end, regardless of the human cost. Because ultimately their own belief in their own superiority and infallibility is what made them the type of narcissist drawn to that job in the first place.
So my conclusion is at least Starmer is no pathological narcissist.
The other positive I can see in all this doom and gloom and suffering is closer ties to our EU allies snd friends and closer cooperation there.

I watched something on the BBC tonight which was a blow-by-blow analysis of the attack.

Long story short, the only country that had the capacity to do that was the US.

At the same time, Trump is flatly denying that it’s the US. I know we’re used to his flagrant lies and manipulation but this really does take things to an atrocious low, in my opinion.

I’m no fan of Iran but I am absolutely horrified at how casually Trump seems to have embarked on a vanity war. I just don’t understand how he’s getting away with the outrageous things he’s doing. Kidnapping the Venezuelan leader, bombing other countries, unilaterally deciding he’s going to control the oil revenue of the country he bombed. And that’s even without mentioning the Epstein files.

Has he got such powerful friends that he’s really able to do and say whatever he wants without consequence? It certainly seems like it right now.

CruCru · 10/03/2026 09:00

I’ve just read a column in the Times by Melanie Phillips (who is in Israel). Apparently the Gulf states have been urging Trump not to stop the war until the Iranian regime has been destroyed.

Araminta1003 · 10/03/2026 09:42

You cannot get rid of the power structures in a country that have established themselves over 50 years and pervade every aspect of society. There will be 30 per cent of the population or more involved in that power structure sitting behind the figureheads of the regime.
We saw it with Russia play out very clearly. Gorbachev supposedly had his mini revolution but just a few years later Putin, ex KGB, the people who actually call the shots, was back in power for the very foreseeable future.
The only way to do this kind of thing is work with the existing power structures locally in the Middle East and then not alienate them and keep them as close as possible. Keep your enemies closer. And that is something the Middle Eastern states have to do themselves, and it would be a very ongoing project and exactly how Israel sits with all of that is difficult to comprehend.

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