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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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No, Dubai.. we’re not jealous. We’re just exhausted by the algorithm shoving endless, braggy content down our feeds during what might be the start of a world war, one that already involves British people on the ground.

549 replies

surelycantjustbeme · 06/03/2026 06:51

I’m venting here, as a former expat sick of being pushed content from influencers who know nothing about the realities of living there under terms that don’t involve government cash to push a blindfolded, tone deaf narrative.

Dubai is the ultimate symbol of moral compromise, a glossy façade masking hypocrisy. Nowhere else do you see people who once mocked or feared Muslims flocking to Muslim lands to live comfortably off their wealth.

Certain professions thrive in their own sheltered bubbles, teachers, for example, rarely look beyond their privileged expat circles.

Parents who gush about loving their children casually employ underpaid nannies, often Filipina women who’ve left their own children behind. The usual defence? “She earns more here than back home.” Conveniently ignoring the exploitative system that brought her there. Hypocrisy in full view.

In a supposedly Muslim state, the same rules of faith vanish when profit or expat comfort is at stake. Alcohol flows freely, prostitution thrives, gambling exists, pork is sold, and dogs fill parks, all justified under the umbrella of “keeping expats happy.”

Many defend the government’s heavy control as if to prove their choice to stay is right. They need that illusion. Meanwhile, the state ensures expats feel “safe” because their satisfaction is profitable.

What influencers call “hate” toward Dubai isn’t jealousy. It’s frustration, frustration at how proudly expats flaunt a lifestyle while belittling their home countries, still benefiting from UK systems without paying a penny of tax. It’s tone-deafness wrapped in sunshine and skyline filters.

I know because I lived there. I arrived with good intentions to work hard, save, go home. But within a few years, I was buried in credit card debt, battling an eating disorder, and clinging to delusions just to survive mentally.

It’s easy to adopt the spin/ the narrative of safety, success, and superiority, because the system is designed to make you believe it.

People are tired of the influencer nonsense: clickbait, fake engagement, pretentious “Dubai life” hype. Every smug clip of a sunset or a skyline feels like rubbing salt in collective anxiety, especially while the UK faces uncertainty, fear, and political messes. The contrast feels cruel.

Dubai isn’t a real place, it’s a business model. A well-oiled corporation with immaculate branding and impeccable control over perception. It’s proof that humans will do almost anything for money.

They’ll mute moral conflict, ignore exploitation, and call it “success.”

Expats boast about how “safe” Dubai is compared to the UK, but that’s a narrow kind of safety, street-level safety, not emotional, financial, or existential safety. Is your job secure? Is your mental health stable? Are your rights protected? Safety for whom, the western professionals or the migrant workers living without basic freedoms?

In my view most expats won’t return home. Some can’t afford to. Debt, or the fear of losing status keep them trapped. Others left with problems they can’t face back in the UK. Many still defend Dubai fervently because admitting the truth would unravel years of self-justification.

It’s not far from a cult, everyone repeating the same comforting lines while ignoring what’s right in front of them.

I spent just over three years there. My profession wasn’t part of a protected bubble, so I met people from all walks of life. That distance gave me perspective. I changed, and yes, I too once repeated the same scripted defence to friends back home. It was easier to mask my unhappiness than face it.

Rant over.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
JustCabbaggeLooking · 07/03/2026 01:23

surelycantjustbeme · 06/03/2026 20:16

Read back what you’ve written in your responses. You’re rude, and you’re unpleasant.

She wasn't.

JustCabbaggeLooking · 07/03/2026 01:27

womendeserveequalhumanrights · 06/03/2026 23:47

They sort of did if they lied about what she was going to, which is very much OP's point and the point in the reports I linked to. These workers are promised very high salaries but not told about the inhumane conditions they will be expected to endure until they get there.

OP is talking about or interested in that. Indeed, she is comparing herself to that.

EvieBB · 07/03/2026 01:52

surelycantjustbeme · 06/03/2026 20:14

Thanks, I’ll take that. I’d link my writing, but I can only imagine the lengths you delightful bunch would go to in tearing me apart. I’ve already been accused of being AI, and when that didn’t stick, told my writing’s terrible and I should find another career.

I'm so sorry OP, I really didn't mean to insult you.....I said it sounds like it's been plagiarised (as it's so good!) but that doesn't mean I necessarily thought it was....I just wondered....
Please take it as a compliment.
You write brilliantly and I could only dream to write as well as you xx

surelycantjustbeme · 07/03/2026 05:26

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Rattletattles · 07/03/2026 07:08

@surelycantjustbeme look, you went to Dubai without understanding the culture there, you foolishly lived way beyond your means, you paid the price of that with your mental health, you are now in a better place. You really should try to put your Dubai mistakes behind you, don’t let your bitterness and regret take you on another spiral, conspiracy theories about who is responding to you on this thread is not going to help you. It appears it is a chapter in your life you really need to shut the door on.

nomas · 07/03/2026 07:08

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

🤣

This is next level paranoia.

Another paranoid person might ask why the OP has name changed for this thread?

surelycantjustbeme · 07/03/2026 07:13

Morning @Rattletattles @nomas

OP posts:
nomas · 07/03/2026 07:17

Morning

surelycantjustbeme · 07/03/2026 07:29

Phase Two of Operation Dubai Clout is activated, folks. Keep those comments coming to drown out any suspicious or accusatory posts in the thread. Repeat your neatly summarised, and completely inaccurate, version of events so that any newcomers to the thread see your version first and take it as fact without having to scroll the discussion.

OP posts:
surelycantjustbeme · 07/03/2026 07:50

Did you accidentally hit send on both accounts at 7:08 a.m.? Or was that just a glitch in your posting software? Oops 😬

OP posts:
HoppityBun · 07/03/2026 07:54

Write a book about it? Your post was fascinating OP.

TheMagicDeckchair · 07/03/2026 07:56

It isn’t just influencers pushing the pro-Dubai and anti-UK rhetoric either, it comes through more subtly in the press.

For months I couldn’t open my News app without seeing articles from UK families living overseas (mostly Dubai and the Telegraph) talking about how amazing it is there and how we should all consider a move because the UK is rubbish and taxed to the hilt (maybe not in so many words but that was the implication). Even if you’re not following influencers, the subtle message was there.

In time many of us realised that there was definitely an agenda there and not everything was so black and white. Everyone should be applying critical thinking, opening their eyes to what’s actually happening around them and not just believing everything in the press.

I must admit though that I never considered the UAE an unsafe holiday destination, and I hope that all the holidaymakers and people stuck in transit can get home safely.

Peoplearebloodyidiots · 07/03/2026 07:59

I know this is a post about influencers, but it’s always a bit strange to see people in the UK criticising places like Dubai as if Britain somehow became wealthy through pure virtue and hard work alone. A huge amount of the wealth that built modern Britain came during the period of the British Empire when resources, land and labour were extracted from colonised countries.

Places like India, Ireland, Jamaica, Kenya, Nigeria and Malaysia were all heavily exploited to build that wealth.

None of this is really advertised in the national story the UK tells about itself, but historians are very clear about it. So by all means criticise Dubai, but a little historical humility about how Britain itself became rich would probably be healthy.

HoppityBun · 07/03/2026 08:04

Lesina · 06/03/2026 21:54

99% of people just want get on. They do what they can to get on. We should accept this with grace. All this politic and social anger is misplaced. Most folk just want to get on,

Sure most people want financial, emotional and physical safety. Is that what you mean by “getting on”?

What is this “with grace” expression meaning here? Silence about the cost to one’s self and to others of this success? Praise and approbation for material benefits?

LifeAdminAlways · 07/03/2026 08:04

Peoplearebloodyidiots · 07/03/2026 07:59

I know this is a post about influencers, but it’s always a bit strange to see people in the UK criticising places like Dubai as if Britain somehow became wealthy through pure virtue and hard work alone. A huge amount of the wealth that built modern Britain came during the period of the British Empire when resources, land and labour were extracted from colonised countries.

Places like India, Ireland, Jamaica, Kenya, Nigeria and Malaysia were all heavily exploited to build that wealth.

None of this is really advertised in the national story the UK tells about itself, but historians are very clear about it. So by all means criticise Dubai, but a little historical humility about how Britain itself became rich would probably be healthy.

Why do you think criticising Dubai means a lack of awareness of the horrors of British history? One, we can now do nothing about. The other is now actively taking place under our eyes. Going to blingy corrupt Dubai is a choice for westerners.

My parents are from an Asian, former UK colony. One where the exploited immigrant labour of Dubai comes from. So I know enough about the impact of the British empire, but also detest the cruel exploitation of immigrants in Dubai. These views aren’t mutually exclusive.

HoppityBun · 07/03/2026 08:17

Peoplearebloodyidiots · 07/03/2026 07:59

I know this is a post about influencers, but it’s always a bit strange to see people in the UK criticising places like Dubai as if Britain somehow became wealthy through pure virtue and hard work alone. A huge amount of the wealth that built modern Britain came during the period of the British Empire when resources, land and labour were extracted from colonised countries.

Places like India, Ireland, Jamaica, Kenya, Nigeria and Malaysia were all heavily exploited to build that wealth.

None of this is really advertised in the national story the UK tells about itself, but historians are very clear about it. So by all means criticise Dubai, but a little historical humility about how Britain itself became rich would probably be healthy.

Of Course. But we can’t have qualifications in every current affairs post. And it’s worth remembering that whilst some families became very rich indeed and still have that wealth, it was on the backs of ordinary working people whose short lives were spent working for those families.

Not every British family owned cotton mills, coal mines, railways and farmland. Not every man was a ship’s captain. Most of our ancestors worked for them, died for them and lost limbs and livelihoods for them. Do you really have no idea of what it was like to be a farm labourer? To work in a cotton mills? To go into service at the age of 12? To get press ganged into the Royal Navy! Of the extent of the slums? Of the realities of the workhouses? Little boys were sent up chimneys to clean them and got testicular cancer as a result. If you think those were the exceptions, think again

Plus you have a narrow view of what being British means if you think we’re all 100% white.

surelycantjustbeme · 07/03/2026 08:49

Hi @PipMumsnet

Could you please explain why my comment was deleted? In it, I expressed my concerns about several accounts that appeared to be fictitious. One example I mentioned involved an account (which I didn’t name) showing noticeable shifts in tone and claiming not to know what an influencer is, yet displaying detailed knowledge about AI and ChatGPT.

My comment did not include any personal attacks, identifying information, or content that violated posting guidelines.

I can only assume it may have been mass-flagged by the accounts I referenced, leading to its removal. However, I’d appreciate clarification on what specific rule my post was found to have breached and the reason for its deletion.

OP posts:
Beachtastic · 07/03/2026 09:27

OP, it's Mumsnet. Some people will get it, some won't, and some will enjoy tormenting you! 💐

Breadandsticks · 07/03/2026 09:50

I have heard this in person actually. So I’m not surprised it’s a whole world of social media. Friends that have visited Dubai would say it’s the best place on earth. My midwife told me she’s been 5 plus times and it’s amazing.

One of my friends who I would say is “real” went out there with her family. She was the last person on earth id expe but to live there. When I asked her how it was, she said it was miserable.

The realest response I’ve ever had! Everyone else is there short term enough to curate the perfect holiday for the keeping up with the Joneses narrative; or probably like that life style and stick at it. I know a few people that have moved to counties with more culture. Most people go there to make money then come back to the UK to build a life, they say they loved it, but I’ve never heard the why.

So you are onto something op, it’s a great business model with amazing marketing.

Crikeyalmighty · 07/03/2026 10:13

Beachtastic · 06/03/2026 20:53

I've worked as an editor for >30 years, OP, and your writing does not look like AI to me. AI has certain idiosyncratic style elements that are absent from your posts here. You simply write with natural eloquence, and some people assume that must be artificial nowadays. Take it as a back-handed compliment 😉

I agree , I see a lot of AI as part of my job and I also write a fair bit as part of the job too - this doesn’t look like AI at all .

PheasantandAstronomers · 07/03/2026 10:32

Breadandsticks · 07/03/2026 09:50

I have heard this in person actually. So I’m not surprised it’s a whole world of social media. Friends that have visited Dubai would say it’s the best place on earth. My midwife told me she’s been 5 plus times and it’s amazing.

One of my friends who I would say is “real” went out there with her family. She was the last person on earth id expe but to live there. When I asked her how it was, she said it was miserable.

The realest response I’ve ever had! Everyone else is there short term enough to curate the perfect holiday for the keeping up with the Joneses narrative; or probably like that life style and stick at it. I know a few people that have moved to counties with more culture. Most people go there to make money then come back to the UK to build a life, they say they loved it, but I’ve never heard the why.

So you are onto something op, it’s a great business model with amazing marketing.

Look, it’s not that mysterious. As an holiday destination, it’s aimed at a demographic with a particular mental version of ‘luxury’ and, crucially, who love the idea that there are no ‘sights’ whatsoever in Dubai. There is no reason whatsoever to get off your sunlounger or leave your hotel, unless you want to go shopping or look at a tall building. That’s really appealing to a certain type. They just like hotels. Living there is like living in an airport. It’s not somewhere designed for a settlement. The water cost alone is mind-boggling, before you add in the power required to run all that aircon.

rrrrrreatt · 07/03/2026 10:57

I don’t disagree with your take on Dubai as a vacuous immoral place but you need to give your head a wobble. You were a grown adult, with the freedom to choose, and you chose to move to Dubai. You’re accountable for your decisions, even if they were mistakes.

A hard sales pitch isn’t coercion into taking and using a credit card unless you’ve missed out the bit where they stood over you in the shops, people disagreeing with you isn’t the same as a Filipina nanny being silenced in a country where they have no power and could be jailed, and you can’t have done thorough research if you didn’t fully understand the costs or reality of living there.

The government here isn’t terrible either; it’s not great but we have significantly better laws and living conditions than many people in the world, inc the modern slaves the build and maintain Dubai. We’re incredibly privileged really.

And before you ask, I’ve not been to Dubai and never will. I try to spend my money ethically where I can and I can’t square it’s human rights record with my personal values. I’m also not constantly tracking the war there because, if it is WWIII, my viewing won’t make any difference either way.

surelycantjustbeme · 07/03/2026 12:45

rrrrrreatt · 07/03/2026 10:57

I don’t disagree with your take on Dubai as a vacuous immoral place but you need to give your head a wobble. You were a grown adult, with the freedom to choose, and you chose to move to Dubai. You’re accountable for your decisions, even if they were mistakes.

A hard sales pitch isn’t coercion into taking and using a credit card unless you’ve missed out the bit where they stood over you in the shops, people disagreeing with you isn’t the same as a Filipina nanny being silenced in a country where they have no power and could be jailed, and you can’t have done thorough research if you didn’t fully understand the costs or reality of living there.

The government here isn’t terrible either; it’s not great but we have significantly better laws and living conditions than many people in the world, inc the modern slaves the build and maintain Dubai. We’re incredibly privileged really.

And before you ask, I’ve not been to Dubai and never will. I try to spend my money ethically where I can and I can’t square it’s human rights record with my personal values. I’m also not constantly tracking the war there because, if it is WWIII, my viewing won’t make any difference either way.

Thank you for your comment, you’ve made some very good points. I can absolutely take accountability for my situation; you’re right that I was an adult. Back then, influencers weren’t really a thing, so I did my own research online. Unfortunately, much of what I found was misleading and mis-sold, but I can’t say I was vulnerable in the same way as someone who has been trafficked.

That said, I do believe there was an element of exploitation. I became part of a predetermined system, one that profiled people like me and positioned us according to how we fit into the broader “Dubai machine.”

As a young woman with few ties to the UK, I was enticed by the promise of doing the same job in a warmer climate with a much higher salary. That profile alone likely placed me in a category designed to trigger certain tactics: “She probably doesn’t realise how expensive it is here, get her on a high-interest credit card as soon as she opens a bank account. She’ll likely be drawn to brunches and other shiny, exciting things that will keep her tied to the place.”

Yes, I was an adult, but you could argue that many women lured into abusive relationships are adults too. Once you’re caught in a toxic environment, it’s rarely black and white.

OP posts:
HolidayHideaway · 07/03/2026 13:22

surelycantjustbeme · 07/03/2026 12:45

Thank you for your comment, you’ve made some very good points. I can absolutely take accountability for my situation; you’re right that I was an adult. Back then, influencers weren’t really a thing, so I did my own research online. Unfortunately, much of what I found was misleading and mis-sold, but I can’t say I was vulnerable in the same way as someone who has been trafficked.

That said, I do believe there was an element of exploitation. I became part of a predetermined system, one that profiled people like me and positioned us according to how we fit into the broader “Dubai machine.”

As a young woman with few ties to the UK, I was enticed by the promise of doing the same job in a warmer climate with a much higher salary. That profile alone likely placed me in a category designed to trigger certain tactics: “She probably doesn’t realise how expensive it is here, get her on a high-interest credit card as soon as she opens a bank account. She’ll likely be drawn to brunches and other shiny, exciting things that will keep her tied to the place.”

Yes, I was an adult, but you could argue that many women lured into abusive relationships are adults too. Once you’re caught in a toxic environment, it’s rarely black and white.

Your story is familiar to those I know who left seeking adventure in 20s/30s (nothing wrong in that) in Hong Kong, Japan, Singapore & Bermuda.

busybusybusy2015 · 07/03/2026 13:40

surelycantjustbeme · 07/03/2026 12:45

Thank you for your comment, you’ve made some very good points. I can absolutely take accountability for my situation; you’re right that I was an adult. Back then, influencers weren’t really a thing, so I did my own research online. Unfortunately, much of what I found was misleading and mis-sold, but I can’t say I was vulnerable in the same way as someone who has been trafficked.

That said, I do believe there was an element of exploitation. I became part of a predetermined system, one that profiled people like me and positioned us according to how we fit into the broader “Dubai machine.”

As a young woman with few ties to the UK, I was enticed by the promise of doing the same job in a warmer climate with a much higher salary. That profile alone likely placed me in a category designed to trigger certain tactics: “She probably doesn’t realise how expensive it is here, get her on a high-interest credit card as soon as she opens a bank account. She’ll likely be drawn to brunches and other shiny, exciting things that will keep her tied to the place.”

Yes, I was an adult, but you could argue that many women lured into abusive relationships are adults too. Once you’re caught in a toxic environment, it’s rarely black and white.

OP is really owning her mistake. Rare to see that on MN. And using "oh it's all AI" to try and cast doubts on well-argued posts doesn't make me doubt the OP in this case: it sets off an alarm bell about the person responding with the undermining suggestion of AI. I'm starting to think there's something going on here with the attacks on the OP, way beyond the usual MN snippiness.

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