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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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No, Dubai.. we’re not jealous. We’re just exhausted by the algorithm shoving endless, braggy content down our feeds during what might be the start of a world war, one that already involves British people on the ground.

549 replies

surelycantjustbeme · 06/03/2026 06:51

I’m venting here, as a former expat sick of being pushed content from influencers who know nothing about the realities of living there under terms that don’t involve government cash to push a blindfolded, tone deaf narrative.

Dubai is the ultimate symbol of moral compromise, a glossy façade masking hypocrisy. Nowhere else do you see people who once mocked or feared Muslims flocking to Muslim lands to live comfortably off their wealth.

Certain professions thrive in their own sheltered bubbles, teachers, for example, rarely look beyond their privileged expat circles.

Parents who gush about loving their children casually employ underpaid nannies, often Filipina women who’ve left their own children behind. The usual defence? “She earns more here than back home.” Conveniently ignoring the exploitative system that brought her there. Hypocrisy in full view.

In a supposedly Muslim state, the same rules of faith vanish when profit or expat comfort is at stake. Alcohol flows freely, prostitution thrives, gambling exists, pork is sold, and dogs fill parks, all justified under the umbrella of “keeping expats happy.”

Many defend the government’s heavy control as if to prove their choice to stay is right. They need that illusion. Meanwhile, the state ensures expats feel “safe” because their satisfaction is profitable.

What influencers call “hate” toward Dubai isn’t jealousy. It’s frustration, frustration at how proudly expats flaunt a lifestyle while belittling their home countries, still benefiting from UK systems without paying a penny of tax. It’s tone-deafness wrapped in sunshine and skyline filters.

I know because I lived there. I arrived with good intentions to work hard, save, go home. But within a few years, I was buried in credit card debt, battling an eating disorder, and clinging to delusions just to survive mentally.

It’s easy to adopt the spin/ the narrative of safety, success, and superiority, because the system is designed to make you believe it.

People are tired of the influencer nonsense: clickbait, fake engagement, pretentious “Dubai life” hype. Every smug clip of a sunset or a skyline feels like rubbing salt in collective anxiety, especially while the UK faces uncertainty, fear, and political messes. The contrast feels cruel.

Dubai isn’t a real place, it’s a business model. A well-oiled corporation with immaculate branding and impeccable control over perception. It’s proof that humans will do almost anything for money.

They’ll mute moral conflict, ignore exploitation, and call it “success.”

Expats boast about how “safe” Dubai is compared to the UK, but that’s a narrow kind of safety, street-level safety, not emotional, financial, or existential safety. Is your job secure? Is your mental health stable? Are your rights protected? Safety for whom, the western professionals or the migrant workers living without basic freedoms?

In my view most expats won’t return home. Some can’t afford to. Debt, or the fear of losing status keep them trapped. Others left with problems they can’t face back in the UK. Many still defend Dubai fervently because admitting the truth would unravel years of self-justification.

It’s not far from a cult, everyone repeating the same comforting lines while ignoring what’s right in front of them.

I spent just over three years there. My profession wasn’t part of a protected bubble, so I met people from all walks of life. That distance gave me perspective. I changed, and yes, I too once repeated the same scripted defence to friends back home. It was easier to mask my unhappiness than face it.

Rant over.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
Crikeyalmighty · 07/03/2026 13:53

PheasantandAstronomers · 07/03/2026 10:32

Look, it’s not that mysterious. As an holiday destination, it’s aimed at a demographic with a particular mental version of ‘luxury’ and, crucially, who love the idea that there are no ‘sights’ whatsoever in Dubai. There is no reason whatsoever to get off your sunlounger or leave your hotel, unless you want to go shopping or look at a tall building. That’s really appealing to a certain type. They just like hotels. Living there is like living in an airport. It’s not somewhere designed for a settlement. The water cost alone is mind-boggling, before you add in the power required to run all that aircon.

@PheasantandAstronomers you make a really important point - lots of us go on about the lack of culture or ‘sights’ ( as such) but plenty of people just aren’t that bothered about these things either short term ( holiday) or long term ( living) - I remember my H telling someone he couldn’t live there due to lack of gigs, markets ( of the European kind) book/comedy festivals - mixed kind of areas to stroll - just to be honest a European type culture - although obviously you can find similar in US/Canada/Australia etc - and the person said they didn’t care about any of that they just wanted to lie around in warm weather and go out for meals in nice gardens and have a housemaid . So it’s easy to presume that a jack of some things people would miss- but no, not all do

Beachtastic · 07/03/2026 13:53

busybusybusy2015 · 07/03/2026 13:40

OP is really owning her mistake. Rare to see that on MN. And using "oh it's all AI" to try and cast doubts on well-argued posts doesn't make me doubt the OP in this case: it sets off an alarm bell about the person responding with the undermining suggestion of AI. I'm starting to think there's something going on here with the attacks on the OP, way beyond the usual MN snippiness.

It's hard to tell. I recognise some usernames as habitually aggressive. Not sure if the subject-matter is relevant to this or not!

Redpaisley · 07/03/2026 21:21

Cooroo · 06/03/2026 08:07

Dubai rarely enters my consciousness but I found your post very interesting, thanks!

OP’s experience is not every expat’s experience. I have friends thriving there. They are not very materialistic, nor accumulating credit card debts.

LifeAdminAlways · 08/03/2026 06:29

I have seen a friend’s FB post. She has lived in Dubai for 20 years. She ended it with ‘I trust in our wonderful UAE government and our incredible Emirati brothers and sisters to keep us safe.’ She does not normally post like that. Who knows, maybe it’s spontaneous and she is feeling that…

KidsDoBetter · 08/03/2026 07:16

LifeAdminAlways · 08/03/2026 06:29

I have seen a friend’s FB post. She has lived in Dubai for 20 years. She ended it with ‘I trust in our wonderful UAE government and our incredible Emirati brothers and sisters to keep us safe.’ She does not normally post like that. Who knows, maybe it’s spontaneous and she is feeling that…

I’ve seen these too. It really has such a forced propaganda feel to it.

SpaceRaccoon · 08/03/2026 07:26

OP honestly you do sound bitter, and obsessed with the place, because you screwed up when you were there.

We lived in one of the neighbouring countries for a bit. Never got into debt or sucked into the glitzy crap, we just enjoyed the experience, stayed in the right side of local laws and customs, made friends and saved money. Still talk of it fondly and wish everyone in the region, locals and expats, well.

surelycantjustbeme · 08/03/2026 07:58

SpaceRaccoon · 08/03/2026 07:26

OP honestly you do sound bitter, and obsessed with the place, because you screwed up when you were there.

We lived in one of the neighbouring countries for a bit. Never got into debt or sucked into the glitzy crap, we just enjoyed the experience, stayed in the right side of local laws and customs, made friends and saved money. Still talk of it fondly and wish everyone in the region, locals and expats, well.

Thanks for sharing your perspective. The point of my post, though, is to express my frustration with influencers who are paid to lie and manipulate people online.

You call me bitter, but I think my post may have struck a nerve because you’re also a former expat and perhaps felt it reflected negatively on your own experience. It doesn’t, as our stories are simply different.

You didn’t live in Dubai, and when you say “we lived,” I assume you mean you moved with a partner and a support system. That’s a very different reality from mine. Still, I’m genuinely glad you had a positive experience abroad.

I have nothing but empathy for those who may have gone through (and are still stuck with) what I did, and from what I’ve learned since, my experience is far from unusual.

OP posts:
exdxb · 08/03/2026 08:12

LifeAdminAlways · 08/03/2026 06:29

I have seen a friend’s FB post. She has lived in Dubai for 20 years. She ended it with ‘I trust in our wonderful UAE government and our incredible Emirati brothers and sisters to keep us safe.’ She does not normally post like that. Who knows, maybe it’s spontaneous and she is feeling that…

Mine too - several friends and I’m finding it quite sinister. Get more real chat about how they are feeling via WhatsApp but none of them share anything about being worried on their social media other than praise or resharing of the government's posts.

It was similar during Covid but less intense as it was global so there was not this feeling that the UAE had to protect their image in quite as dramatic a way. And in general that was dealt with better there, because they do have the power to enforce a lockdown and vaccinations (essentially they were made compulsory for by many employers who hold your visa).

I wish they would leave the UAE, at least for a few weeks/months as I cannot see this getting better anytime soon. Although if we were still there I would not be happy to fly from DXB right now that’s terrifying me those planes going in and out between missiles - I would have to go overland to Oman or KSA probably.

JaneFondue · 08/03/2026 08:47

The 4 people killled in the UAE so far were all S Asian.
Presumably because they didn't have the luxury of sheltering in place.

DeftGoldHedgehog · 08/03/2026 08:49

I've never seen any content like that described in the OP in my life. Why would you unless that kind of thing interests you?

exdxb · 08/03/2026 09:04

JaneFondue · 08/03/2026 08:47

The 4 people killled in the UAE so far were all S Asian.
Presumably because they didn't have the luxury of sheltering in place.

look at the population demographic. It’s just statistically far more probable. if this continues there will be at some point, as it’s random where the debris falls and plenty of ‘westerners’ out and about too, they are just far outnumbered.

Crikeyalmighty · 08/03/2026 10:30

I do honestly think it’s horses for courses , back in my ( my personal view) horrible birth town for a few days to attend an event and the town centre is like the apocalypse - I’m not a fan of Dubai at all having been but would I jump at it over living where I am at the moment ? Very possibly yes , however I would much rather live in Spain, Italy, Greece, Sweden, Netherlands etc . I guess it comes down too to how easy it is to get in and what options you have - for those who are unaware Dubai has the nomad visa, as do many other places which makes it fairly easy if you are a ‘digital worker’ with income up to a certain level and don’t need to work within the local workforce - Dubai’s requirements are 1 year at a time, keep renewing , 3500 monthly ( dollars) income needed. a lot of the northern and western EU places don’t have it, Sweden Denmark, Netherlands and France don’t for a start - Spain and Italy and Greece do but with quite high conditions and you have to pay within their tax system- and it’s not low!! This is why Dubai is always on the radar, unless it’s a corporate transfer - no tax and fairly easy get in even if earning in slightly dodgy ways and not many questions asked, so long as you are earning.

EsmaCannonball · 08/03/2026 10:45

I saw reports on social media yesterday that people fleeing Dubai were dumping their pets on the street and now it has been confirmed by mainstream media. I guess Mr Fluffles and Rover had served their purpose in creating cute content but now they can fend for themselves. Honestly, what kind of self-serving, shameless scumbag does that (especially if, as we are repeatedly being told, 'the authorities have everything under control' and 'everywhere is completely safe')?

GarlicFound · 08/03/2026 11:24

DeftGoldHedgehog · 08/03/2026 08:49

I've never seen any content like that described in the OP in my life. Why would you unless that kind of thing interests you?

One of my nieces lives in Dubai. One of my friends visits her Dubai-resident daughter every few weeks. Assorted friends post from holidays and work visits there. I follow travel accounts because I like the algorithms to feed me pictures of lovely things around the world, so I'm fed a fair amount of Gulf guff.

You've never seen any of this content because your interests are different. I never see any knitting content, and very little on dogs or horses. It's very strange that you don't understand different people have different experiences.

DeftGoldHedgehog · 08/03/2026 11:33

GarlicFound · 08/03/2026 11:24

One of my nieces lives in Dubai. One of my friends visits her Dubai-resident daughter every few weeks. Assorted friends post from holidays and work visits there. I follow travel accounts because I like the algorithms to feed me pictures of lovely things around the world, so I'm fed a fair amount of Gulf guff.

You've never seen any of this content because your interests are different. I never see any knitting content, and very little on dogs or horses. It's very strange that you don't understand different people have different experiences.

You are making my point for me. OP seems to assume we all consume the same content and are all fed up to the back teeth with it. My point was that it's pretty easy to avoid.

GarlicFound · 08/03/2026 11:46

DeftGoldHedgehog · 08/03/2026 11:33

You are making my point for me. OP seems to assume we all consume the same content and are all fed up to the back teeth with it. My point was that it's pretty easy to avoid.

She's interested in Dubai!
I've actually seen more Gulf promotional content since following news of the ME war. The algorithms register your browsing history, they aren't limited by platform.

surelycantjustbeme · 08/03/2026 18:15

Perhaps this is already well known, but as I’ve been looking into it, I was surprised to learn that in Dubai, even everyday residents (not just influencers) can face severe repercussions for posting criticism online, especially if their posts are seen as insulting or damaging to the state’s reputation.

Under the UAE’s cybercrime and media laws, even Instagram posts and comments can be treated as public publications. Penalties can include hefty fines, jail time, deportation, and orders to remove offending content.

I also hadn’t realised that monetised creators in the UAE need a specific media or advertising permit to take part in paid collaborations. “Regulators can suspend or revoke these permits if any content is deemed harmful to the country’s image or state interests.” In practice, that means lifestyle bloggers in Dubai, people who seem to just document everyday life rather than push flashy crypto, fitness, or beauty content, risk losing their income and legal right to work online if they post something controversial. And, even your friends or relatives out there, who might hope to monetise later could come under scrutiny for what they share today.

It starts to make more sense, then, why so many seemingly normal residents online stick to safe talking points like “it’s so much better than the UK” and maintain a polished, relentlessly positive tone. The cost of stepping outside that script can be your livelihood, your permit, or your visa. So, during these times when concerned family back home is keen to hear how you’re doing, perhaps rather than stay silent they feel they need to publish something, and feel safest pushing the script of “All is safe and well. Don’t regret our decision to be here. Safer than the UK so no need to worry”

I’ve also been trying to figure out how the algorithm works, mainly whether there’s a way to filter out influencers, but I haven’t cracked that yet. From what I’ve learned, your feed is shaped largely by your own activity: what you watch, like, save, and engage with across Meta platforms such as Facebook and Instagram. Some offsite behaviour, like browsing and search data (if cookies are enabled), can also play a part, which PP’s have explained too.

That explains most sponsored posts, but it doesn’t fully account for why certain organic reels or suggested content still manage to appear.

OP posts:
SpaceRaccoon · 08/03/2026 18:32

That's the deal though - you know you can't critisise Dubai and its rulers when you go and live there. In return, you get a high, tax free salary, low crime and sunshine.

It's honest at least. In the UK you have high taxes, shit weather, antisocial behaviour, so you might think well at least we have democracy and freedom of speech, and then you read that there were 12,000 people arrested for social media offenses in 2024.

Honestly though anyone going to live in Dubai or the region in general, really should know what the laws are and how to keep their noses clean.

Usernamenotfound1 · 08/03/2026 21:11

SpaceRaccoon · 08/03/2026 18:32

That's the deal though - you know you can't critisise Dubai and its rulers when you go and live there. In return, you get a high, tax free salary, low crime and sunshine.

It's honest at least. In the UK you have high taxes, shit weather, antisocial behaviour, so you might think well at least we have democracy and freedom of speech, and then you read that there were 12,000 people arrested for social media offenses in 2024.

Honestly though anyone going to live in Dubai or the region in general, really should know what the laws are and how to keep their noses clean.

Do you really think the UK arrested 12000 people in one year for saying something the government didn’t like on social media?

KuanKaKu · 08/03/2026 21:16

surelycantjustbeme · 06/03/2026 06:51

I’m venting here, as a former expat sick of being pushed content from influencers who know nothing about the realities of living there under terms that don’t involve government cash to push a blindfolded, tone deaf narrative.

Dubai is the ultimate symbol of moral compromise, a glossy façade masking hypocrisy. Nowhere else do you see people who once mocked or feared Muslims flocking to Muslim lands to live comfortably off their wealth.

Certain professions thrive in their own sheltered bubbles, teachers, for example, rarely look beyond their privileged expat circles.

Parents who gush about loving their children casually employ underpaid nannies, often Filipina women who’ve left their own children behind. The usual defence? “She earns more here than back home.” Conveniently ignoring the exploitative system that brought her there. Hypocrisy in full view.

In a supposedly Muslim state, the same rules of faith vanish when profit or expat comfort is at stake. Alcohol flows freely, prostitution thrives, gambling exists, pork is sold, and dogs fill parks, all justified under the umbrella of “keeping expats happy.”

Many defend the government’s heavy control as if to prove their choice to stay is right. They need that illusion. Meanwhile, the state ensures expats feel “safe” because their satisfaction is profitable.

What influencers call “hate” toward Dubai isn’t jealousy. It’s frustration, frustration at how proudly expats flaunt a lifestyle while belittling their home countries, still benefiting from UK systems without paying a penny of tax. It’s tone-deafness wrapped in sunshine and skyline filters.

I know because I lived there. I arrived with good intentions to work hard, save, go home. But within a few years, I was buried in credit card debt, battling an eating disorder, and clinging to delusions just to survive mentally.

It’s easy to adopt the spin/ the narrative of safety, success, and superiority, because the system is designed to make you believe it.

People are tired of the influencer nonsense: clickbait, fake engagement, pretentious “Dubai life” hype. Every smug clip of a sunset or a skyline feels like rubbing salt in collective anxiety, especially while the UK faces uncertainty, fear, and political messes. The contrast feels cruel.

Dubai isn’t a real place, it’s a business model. A well-oiled corporation with immaculate branding and impeccable control over perception. It’s proof that humans will do almost anything for money.

They’ll mute moral conflict, ignore exploitation, and call it “success.”

Expats boast about how “safe” Dubai is compared to the UK, but that’s a narrow kind of safety, street-level safety, not emotional, financial, or existential safety. Is your job secure? Is your mental health stable? Are your rights protected? Safety for whom, the western professionals or the migrant workers living without basic freedoms?

In my view most expats won’t return home. Some can’t afford to. Debt, or the fear of losing status keep them trapped. Others left with problems they can’t face back in the UK. Many still defend Dubai fervently because admitting the truth would unravel years of self-justification.

It’s not far from a cult, everyone repeating the same comforting lines while ignoring what’s right in front of them.

I spent just over three years there. My profession wasn’t part of a protected bubble, so I met people from all walks of life. That distance gave me perspective. I changed, and yes, I too once repeated the same scripted defence to friends back home. It was easier to mask my unhappiness than face it.

Rant over.

Well said… it’s a gulf locked, falsification of a western city / mainstream tourist resort … it was a build it and they will come … which the naive mass tourists and tax free salary hunters did … the geography, politics, religion etc… have always remained under the mask of the skyscrapers, perma haze and overrated resorts …

exdxb · 08/03/2026 21:37

surelycantjustbeme · 08/03/2026 18:15

Perhaps this is already well known, but as I’ve been looking into it, I was surprised to learn that in Dubai, even everyday residents (not just influencers) can face severe repercussions for posting criticism online, especially if their posts are seen as insulting or damaging to the state’s reputation.

Under the UAE’s cybercrime and media laws, even Instagram posts and comments can be treated as public publications. Penalties can include hefty fines, jail time, deportation, and orders to remove offending content.

I also hadn’t realised that monetised creators in the UAE need a specific media or advertising permit to take part in paid collaborations. “Regulators can suspend or revoke these permits if any content is deemed harmful to the country’s image or state interests.” In practice, that means lifestyle bloggers in Dubai, people who seem to just document everyday life rather than push flashy crypto, fitness, or beauty content, risk losing their income and legal right to work online if they post something controversial. And, even your friends or relatives out there, who might hope to monetise later could come under scrutiny for what they share today.

It starts to make more sense, then, why so many seemingly normal residents online stick to safe talking points like “it’s so much better than the UK” and maintain a polished, relentlessly positive tone. The cost of stepping outside that script can be your livelihood, your permit, or your visa. So, during these times when concerned family back home is keen to hear how you’re doing, perhaps rather than stay silent they feel they need to publish something, and feel safest pushing the script of “All is safe and well. Don’t regret our decision to be here. Safer than the UK so no need to worry”

I’ve also been trying to figure out how the algorithm works, mainly whether there’s a way to filter out influencers, but I haven’t cracked that yet. From what I’ve learned, your feed is shaped largely by your own activity: what you watch, like, save, and engage with across Meta platforms such as Facebook and Instagram. Some offsite behaviour, like browsing and search data (if cookies are enabled), can also play a part, which PP’s have explained too.

That explains most sponsored posts, but it doesn’t fully account for why certain organic reels or suggested content still manage to appear.

As a former Dubai expat I am a bit surprised you didn’t know this. I was aware from very early on that it wasn’t like the UK. You simply NEVER ever do a negative review or post about anyone or any business in the UAE. You can get into a whole world of trouble. If you have a bad experience of a restaurant/hotel/service only tell your friends.

surelycantjustbeme · 08/03/2026 21:46

exdxb · 08/03/2026 21:37

As a former Dubai expat I am a bit surprised you didn’t know this. I was aware from very early on that it wasn’t like the UK. You simply NEVER ever do a negative review or post about anyone or any business in the UAE. You can get into a whole world of trouble. If you have a bad experience of a restaurant/hotel/service only tell your friends.

I knew about the human rights issues, only after living there and experiencing them firsthand, but I hadn’t realised how draconian the rules for online social media posting truly were.

Back when I was there, influencers weren’t a thing yet, and social media wasn’t the pervasive daily force it is now.

OP posts:
CruCru · 08/03/2026 22:07

SpaceRaccoon · 08/03/2026 18:32

That's the deal though - you know you can't critisise Dubai and its rulers when you go and live there. In return, you get a high, tax free salary, low crime and sunshine.

It's honest at least. In the UK you have high taxes, shit weather, antisocial behaviour, so you might think well at least we have democracy and freedom of speech, and then you read that there were 12,000 people arrested for social media offenses in 2024.

Honestly though anyone going to live in Dubai or the region in general, really should know what the laws are and how to keep their noses clean.

I think there are quite a few countries with laws that we would find surprising in the UK. In Thailand it is forbidden to criticise the royal family and you can go to prison for doing so.

Dufrense · 08/03/2026 22:08

I went on holiday and stayed with family this December. I personally loved my time there. I was only there for a week. The food was good, I felt safe walking around.

Whilst I don't work there I know my family there are on the golden visa and have built successful careers there. They have a house maid, she's treated well (and makes such amazing food). Raised their kids there and built and good life.

I know that they tell me that are super impressed with how the government is protecting them and that they feel the government has gone beyond what they had expected.