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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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No, Dubai.. we’re not jealous. We’re just exhausted by the algorithm shoving endless, braggy content down our feeds during what might be the start of a world war, one that already involves British people on the ground.

549 replies

surelycantjustbeme · 06/03/2026 06:51

I’m venting here, as a former expat sick of being pushed content from influencers who know nothing about the realities of living there under terms that don’t involve government cash to push a blindfolded, tone deaf narrative.

Dubai is the ultimate symbol of moral compromise, a glossy façade masking hypocrisy. Nowhere else do you see people who once mocked or feared Muslims flocking to Muslim lands to live comfortably off their wealth.

Certain professions thrive in their own sheltered bubbles, teachers, for example, rarely look beyond their privileged expat circles.

Parents who gush about loving their children casually employ underpaid nannies, often Filipina women who’ve left their own children behind. The usual defence? “She earns more here than back home.” Conveniently ignoring the exploitative system that brought her there. Hypocrisy in full view.

In a supposedly Muslim state, the same rules of faith vanish when profit or expat comfort is at stake. Alcohol flows freely, prostitution thrives, gambling exists, pork is sold, and dogs fill parks, all justified under the umbrella of “keeping expats happy.”

Many defend the government’s heavy control as if to prove their choice to stay is right. They need that illusion. Meanwhile, the state ensures expats feel “safe” because their satisfaction is profitable.

What influencers call “hate” toward Dubai isn’t jealousy. It’s frustration, frustration at how proudly expats flaunt a lifestyle while belittling their home countries, still benefiting from UK systems without paying a penny of tax. It’s tone-deafness wrapped in sunshine and skyline filters.

I know because I lived there. I arrived with good intentions to work hard, save, go home. But within a few years, I was buried in credit card debt, battling an eating disorder, and clinging to delusions just to survive mentally.

It’s easy to adopt the spin/ the narrative of safety, success, and superiority, because the system is designed to make you believe it.

People are tired of the influencer nonsense: clickbait, fake engagement, pretentious “Dubai life” hype. Every smug clip of a sunset or a skyline feels like rubbing salt in collective anxiety, especially while the UK faces uncertainty, fear, and political messes. The contrast feels cruel.

Dubai isn’t a real place, it’s a business model. A well-oiled corporation with immaculate branding and impeccable control over perception. It’s proof that humans will do almost anything for money.

They’ll mute moral conflict, ignore exploitation, and call it “success.”

Expats boast about how “safe” Dubai is compared to the UK, but that’s a narrow kind of safety, street-level safety, not emotional, financial, or existential safety. Is your job secure? Is your mental health stable? Are your rights protected? Safety for whom, the western professionals or the migrant workers living without basic freedoms?

In my view most expats won’t return home. Some can’t afford to. Debt, or the fear of losing status keep them trapped. Others left with problems they can’t face back in the UK. Many still defend Dubai fervently because admitting the truth would unravel years of self-justification.

It’s not far from a cult, everyone repeating the same comforting lines while ignoring what’s right in front of them.

I spent just over three years there. My profession wasn’t part of a protected bubble, so I met people from all walks of life. That distance gave me perspective. I changed, and yes, I too once repeated the same scripted defence to friends back home. It was easier to mask my unhappiness than face it.

Rant over.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
Heronwatcher · 06/03/2026 18:36

Regarding how easily people get drawn into credit, my point is that I believe it’s intentional. I’m savvy with money and started out there with savings. Ive since learned that this is a common pattern.

What, offering someone a credit card and then charging them the interest rate agreed in the contract that the person signed? Bloody hell that’s clever. I’d get straight onto Martin Lewis.

surelycantjustbeme · 06/03/2026 18:39

crossedlines · 06/03/2026 18:35

Anyway, @surelycantjustbeme the bottom line is that Dubai didn’t offer the chance for you to make mega bucks and save lots of money like you imagined it would.

So if it had turned out well for you, you’d clearly have been quite comfortable to live and work in a country which has an appalling human rights record, crazy unpredictable laws and extreme censorship.

Many of us wouldn’t. And yet here you are, lecturing us as if we know nothing…

You’re completely wrong. I didn’t learn about the issues there until I was actually living there, it was a real eye-opener. I had no idea before I moved, and that’s exactly what frustrates me about influencers luring people who are in the same position I once was.

OP posts:
crossedlines · 06/03/2026 18:43

surelycantjustbeme · 06/03/2026 18:39

You’re completely wrong. I didn’t learn about the issues there until I was actually living there, it was a real eye-opener. I had no idea before I moved, and that’s exactly what frustrates me about influencers luring people who are in the same position I once was.

perhaps those of us who wouldn’t move there in a million years precisely because of what we know of Dubai have taken care to inform ourselves about their human rights record, Dubai laws, censorship….

surelycantjustbeme · 06/03/2026 18:48

crossedlines · 06/03/2026 18:43

perhaps those of us who wouldn’t move there in a million years precisely because of what we know of Dubai have taken care to inform ourselves about their human rights record, Dubai laws, censorship….

Perhaps so.

OP posts:
EsmaCannonball · 06/03/2026 18:49

I've now listened to The Rest Is Entertainment podcast mentioned upthread. I thought the point about the influencers claiming to be successful capitalists but actually being the beneficiaries of socialism was very interesting. They are all state-sponsored and deployed; essentially a propaganda wing of the UAE government.

CruCru · 06/03/2026 18:49

The reason people keep mentioning AI is that your original post reads like AI. I understand that this is permitted in MN - if you use AI, it does not automatically mean that you do not believe what you posted.

Putting up an AI post and then telling a bunch of people who don't agree with it that they are "ignorant" is a weird thing to do; it has put people's backs up.

I have no idea who is an influencer and who isn't. I don't think it is a real job. But then I am extremely middle aged.

surelycantjustbeme · 06/03/2026 18:54

CruCru · 06/03/2026 18:49

The reason people keep mentioning AI is that your original post reads like AI. I understand that this is permitted in MN - if you use AI, it does not automatically mean that you do not believe what you posted.

Putting up an AI post and then telling a bunch of people who don't agree with it that they are "ignorant" is a weird thing to do; it has put people's backs up.

I have no idea who is an influencer and who isn't. I don't think it is a real job. But then I am extremely middle aged.

And I’m telling you, it’s not AI. You’re putting an incredible amount of energy into trying to shoot me down, even though you don’t seem to know what an influencer actually is, and you’ve never lived in Dubai. You’re really going out of your way to discredit my reality.

OP posts:
CottonCandyLand · 06/03/2026 18:57

I’m glad I left before influencers were a thing.
I lived there for 10 years and had a very different experience to the OP although I agree with a lot of points they made.

womendeserveequalhumanrights · 06/03/2026 19:01

There are two obvious conclusions to be drawn from this report. Firstly, the data that is made available on this critical issue is extremely poor, and secondly, life as a low-paid migrant worker in the Gulf is not only harsh, it is extremely dangerous. The Gulf states can do more, and the governments that send their workers need to speak with one voice to ensure better protection for their nationals.”
Muhammad Shoaib Justice Project Pakistan

Despite the Gulf states’ practical dependence on their migrant workforces and the bolstering impact migrant worker remittances have on the economies of their homelands, both origin and Gulf states have for too long paid inadequate attention to ensuring they return home in good health. As a result far too many do not return home at all, or do so in coffins or body bags.
Anurag Devkota, Nepal’s Law and Policy Forum for Social Justice

Vital Signs – A Project on Migrant Worker Deaths in the Gulf

There's a lot of interesting findings in the reports, including calls for basic workplace protections that would be unthinkable not to have in the UK (e.g. access to healthcare, limits on working hours or working temperatures). Many individual reports of working 70 hour weeks in extreme heat etc.

I will note this isn't just about UAE but other Gulf states too. However there are testimonies from UAE within the report.

womendeserveequalhumanrights · 06/03/2026 19:04

The reason influencers have so much money for doing very little real work (let's face it) is off the backs of these workers. It's slavery, more or less.

nomas · 06/03/2026 19:07

surelycantjustbeme · 06/03/2026 18:31

The only posts deleted were the ones where I called someone ignorant without explaining why. That’s hardly personal, considering the ignorance being shown.

Regarding how easily people get drawn into credit, my point is that I believe it’s intentional. I’m savvy with money and started out there with savings. Ive since learned that this is a common pattern.

Regarding how easily people get drawn into credit, my point is that I believe it’s intentional.

No one can intentionally get you into debt. You did that all by yourself.

You seem to have a big problem taking accountability for your own actions.

You can’t have done your research very well if you didn’t have a basic understanding of what your outgoings would be and how much income you needed.

Ferdyandthegingerone · 06/03/2026 19:10

surelycantjustbeme · 06/03/2026 18:39

You’re completely wrong. I didn’t learn about the issues there until I was actually living there, it was a real eye-opener. I had no idea before I moved, and that’s exactly what frustrates me about influencers luring people who are in the same position I once was.

Perhaps learn to ignore the “lure” of influencers? I literally follow and watch none. The fact is, you made your own decisions, it didn’t work for you and now you want to blame….the country or other people. If you moved to a country without informing yourself of any potential issues, that is on you. I think there is another thread running which demonstrates that very well.
Take responsibility for your own choices. You will be much happier in the long run.

busybusybusy2015 · 06/03/2026 19:15

What a thread. I've decided several things. 1) it's foolish to move to Dubai without researching it thoroughly. But people make mistakes. 2) The OP has thought long and hard about the intrinsic wrongness of the exploitative expat lifestyle. 3) The OP is being berated for sharing a tough life experience, and what she's learnt from it. 4) Many people on this thread apparently think "influ*ncers" are marvellous and not to be held to account for not always telling the truth 5) if you've got domestic staff, pay them properly or you're yet another exploiter of poor women. OP, your rant was worthwhile and useful, thank you.

CruCru · 06/03/2026 19:18

surelycantjustbeme · 06/03/2026 18:54

And I’m telling you, it’s not AI. You’re putting an incredible amount of energy into trying to shoot me down, even though you don’t seem to know what an influencer actually is, and you’ve never lived in Dubai. You’re really going out of your way to discredit my reality.

Honestly? I think this is the fifth time I've posted on your thread - I wouldn't say that it is one I am particularly invested in.

even though you don’t seem to know what an influencer actually is - yep, I am blissfully free of influencers. Hurrah for me.

Bigmove25 · 06/03/2026 19:20

Wiresring · 06/03/2026 08:52

What's really interesting about this thread is the way people are so offended. We know influencers are used very heavily by the state to promote Dubai and that there are high penalties for anyone publishing anything critical. If it's such a dream, why would that be necessary?

I knew nothing about these 'paid influencers' until I started reading this post. I have wondered, when scanning the Daily Mail sidebar, how can all those 'love island types' can afford to move to Dubai as property rentals cost a fortune. I've never been interested enough to engage with these stories. Now I know!

I did know you have to be very careful not to criticise or say anything negative so the whole state sponsored influencer thing just seems so (Stepford Wives) sinister to me.

Bali is as bad. Worse in some ways, not in others. Here it's lazy Western people with not much money, claiming they want a more holistic lifestyle but really just wanting the ex-pat/influencer lifestyle on the cheap. It's slightly better because at least the nannys are from Bali/Indonesia and most don't seem to live in. The exact opposite but equally repulsive.

surelycantjustbeme · 06/03/2026 19:29

@Ferdyandthegingerone @nomas

Based on your responses, it seems you have no compassion for a young, impressionable woman who was lured to a foreign country under false pretences, coerced into taking out a credit card, and left struggling with debt, depression, and lasting problems.

From what you’ve said, it appears you believe I’m solely to blame for what happened, and that exploitation isn’t real. Or perhaps it only applies to certain nationalities. If I were of a different nationality, would your response be more compassionate, or would you still insist that I’m to blame?

OP posts:
crossedlines · 06/03/2026 19:29

busybusybusy2015 · 06/03/2026 19:15

What a thread. I've decided several things. 1) it's foolish to move to Dubai without researching it thoroughly. But people make mistakes. 2) The OP has thought long and hard about the intrinsic wrongness of the exploitative expat lifestyle. 3) The OP is being berated for sharing a tough life experience, and what she's learnt from it. 4) Many people on this thread apparently think "influ*ncers" are marvellous and not to be held to account for not always telling the truth 5) if you've got domestic staff, pay them properly or you're yet another exploiter of poor women. OP, your rant was worthwhile and useful, thank you.

I don’t think the OP is being berated for sharing a tough experience. I think many people actually agree with a lot of what she says about Dubai.

What people are calling her out on is the fact she is berating other people - calling them ignorant or ‘you’re not real’ and accusing them of burying their heads in the sand and ignoring the reality of Dubai. And it’s so damn ironic since she was the one who chose to move there to chase the money. She chose to not research carefully enough, she’s claiming she didn’t know about human rights issues, treatment of minority groups, exploitation, Dubai laws etc. And then berates people who do read, talk to people, find out information …. Funny how some of us manage to arm ourselves with information but the person lured there by money, didn’t!
it would be laughable if it wasn’t such a serious subject.

Anonanonanonagain · 06/03/2026 19:33

I have never been to dubai, never even considered it really as it looks boring to me to be honest. I have family living there but only because my relative married a native so they live there to be near her family more than anything. I do not follow influencers so not pushed to be sold a dream life anywhere although I have lived abroad myself just always came home to where I am now as I love it. The only thing I take annoyance with is your referring to you and those that move there or anywhere outside of the UK as ex pats rather than immigrants.

surelycantjustbeme · 06/03/2026 19:35

crossedlines · 06/03/2026 19:29

I don’t think the OP is being berated for sharing a tough experience. I think many people actually agree with a lot of what she says about Dubai.

What people are calling her out on is the fact she is berating other people - calling them ignorant or ‘you’re not real’ and accusing them of burying their heads in the sand and ignoring the reality of Dubai. And it’s so damn ironic since she was the one who chose to move there to chase the money. She chose to not research carefully enough, she’s claiming she didn’t know about human rights issues, treatment of minority groups, exploitation, Dubai laws etc. And then berates people who do read, talk to people, find out information …. Funny how some of us manage to arm ourselves with information but the person lured there by money, didn’t!
it would be laughable if it wasn’t such a serious subject.

Edited

Sorry, but where exactly have I berated anyone? You’re reframing the whole discussion for some reason. I called out ignorant comments as ignorant, nothing more. I never attacked people for choosing not to go there. Are you even referencing the right thread?

OP posts:
Cornishclio · 06/03/2026 19:36

I just finished watching a video by some history professor in China predicting that Iran is targeting the Gulf states to bring them down and ultimately the US as they use the petrodollar as the reserve currency for all the oil. Dubai will no longer be an aviation hub and no tourists will go there anymore. It has a ring of truth about it and unfortunately it will bring down the whole global economy. Trump and Netanyahu have unleashed WW3 but it won’t be like previous wars. It will be waged through global economies.

busybusybusy2015 · 06/03/2026 19:36

crossedlines · 06/03/2026 19:29

I don’t think the OP is being berated for sharing a tough experience. I think many people actually agree with a lot of what she says about Dubai.

What people are calling her out on is the fact she is berating other people - calling them ignorant or ‘you’re not real’ and accusing them of burying their heads in the sand and ignoring the reality of Dubai. And it’s so damn ironic since she was the one who chose to move there to chase the money. She chose to not research carefully enough, she’s claiming she didn’t know about human rights issues, treatment of minority groups, exploitation, Dubai laws etc. And then berates people who do read, talk to people, find out information …. Funny how some of us manage to arm ourselves with information but the person lured there by money, didn’t!
it would be laughable if it wasn’t such a serious subject.

Edited

I give the OP credit for the mea culpa. I agree with you that the conversational tone is now overheated but I think the OP really wants people to listen to the reality (and not just default to "all your own fault for going there").

crossedlines · 06/03/2026 19:45

busybusybusy2015 · 06/03/2026 19:36

I give the OP credit for the mea culpa. I agree with you that the conversational tone is now overheated but I think the OP really wants people to listen to the reality (and not just default to "all your own fault for going there").

I’ve never said ‘your own fault.’ Never mentioned fault. It was a choice.

nomas · 06/03/2026 19:46

surelycantjustbeme · 06/03/2026 19:35

Sorry, but where exactly have I berated anyone? You’re reframing the whole discussion for some reason. I called out ignorant comments as ignorant, nothing more. I never attacked people for choosing not to go there. Are you even referencing the right thread?

You repeatedly harangued people as ignorant and not real. Not sure why you’re minimising it now.

surelycantjustbeme · 06/03/2026 19:51

nomas · 06/03/2026 19:46

You repeatedly harangued people as ignorant and not real. Not sure why you’re minimising it now.

Did I ever berate anyone for choosing not to go to Dubai?

OP posts:
crossedlines · 06/03/2026 19:52

surelycantjustbeme · 06/03/2026 19:35

Sorry, but where exactly have I berated anyone? You’re reframing the whole discussion for some reason. I called out ignorant comments as ignorant, nothing more. I never attacked people for choosing not to go there. Are you even referencing the right thread?

You accused me of ‘ignoring or denying’ the ‘very real issues’ which exist. 08:13 post this morning.

Where have I denied the issues? I’ve repeatedly pointed them out. You just seem bizarrely angry with people who do their research and engage with global issues better than you did. Not all of us need to go and work in Dubai for 3 years to try to get rich quick to realise what an awful place it is.