To think this is really mean spirited and she can afford it?

[Sleeverr]

Sister is a single parent and pleading poverty to the extent she can’t bring herself and DD to a trip in the uk for a week in summer. We’ve booked somewhere that’s around 4K for two weeks for the four of us and she initially said she’d find somewhere nearby for her and DD for one week.

our kids are very excited for my niece to join us. Sister now saying she can’t afford it. She has over 1k a month in maintenance and a well paid job of 60k. There’s no debt and I can say that with confidence as she’s very open about that kind of thing! I don’t know how much she has in premium bonds but it’s something as again she will mention a win every so often.

I get the sense she’s hoping someone like my parents might contribute but they won’t towards a holiday. We’ve sent options of 1,200 for the week and she just says she can’t. AIBU to feel this is really shit of her? Letting our kids down and her DD too who probably won’t even have a holiday at all now

Why don't you pay for her if you're so adamant she should go?

£65k whilst above the national average wage, isn't a huge amount when you are a single parent. She has a child to think of. Prize bonds are obviously her saving her money. Presumably she has a mortgage or rent, plenty of bills, groceries, bills for the child etc.

If she doesn't think £1400 is doable, then be kind and say "That's a shame, but I understand". Firstly, it's not a total cost of 1400 because she obviously will have transport costs and spending money on top of that. It all adds up.

Secondly, I'd much prefer to spend 1400 and take my child abroad for a week.

I hope she stops discussing finances with you though because you're so judgemental.

Obviously the post here are a tiny snapshot, but I can see signs of the reasosn she might not want to go...

I dunno, our household income probably equals about the same (including the maintenance) and quite honestly we couldn’t just drop over £1k on a holiday (or anything really) without loads of notice so we could save or having the option to pay in instalments.

It’s not up to you to spend your sister’s money and that should be the end of it.

Yes agree, we went to the Carribean for not much more than 6k!

I have a friend who rented a real luxury house in Cornwall in August a few years ago, which was literally on the beach. Looked amazing in the photos and the accommodation was really well done BUT the weather was absolutely terrible for 90% of the time- drizzle, sea fog, could barely see your own hand, cold and the sea was grey. She spent most of the week in a municipal leisure centre in Bude or somewhere together with the other gazillions of people who were down there. I think they made the best of it but since then they’ve gone to the med!

I think if you’ve got kids, decent weather and a good pool are a must and I’d prioritise this over fancy cushions and a luxe aesthetic personally.

Hi @SleeverrI’m interested to know what was your sister’s response when you told her that you were sad and disappointed that she wouldn’t be joining you all, as you had really looked forward to spending time with her and her child?

What you should have done was booked someone for the six of you - then split the costs accordingly. She should also be able to choose her own options. You haven't said where you are planning to go - but any time I go somewhere in the UK - I shop around with hotel prices. I look at booking.com Expedia. Hotels.com

There should surely be a work around this -even if she goes for five days - or if there are youth hostels in the area.

Or air b and b. I wouldn't be happy at someone telling me that the week had to cost 1.2k. I would be looking to cut costs on that

That is a lot of money in my books and we aren't a single income household. I've got other priorities, like needing new doors fitted (2.5k 😩) and just had an unexpected car bill of 1.3k . Everyone has different priorities and savings and if spending a large amount of money on a holiday isn't a priority for her then you have to respect that. Maybe organise something closer to home for another date ? I used to love having sleepovers with my cousins in my childhood over the summer break. Minimal cost but fantastic memories.

She shouldn't have said she would come when it clearly wasn't definite for her.
Accept she has other financial priorities and don't discuss it further.

Why don't you take your niece and offer to pay for her? That way you get to see your niece and your kids will see her, which seems to be your issue. Of course niece might not want to go...

Whether your sister can afford it or not it’s her decision on how she spends her money and she obviously has other priorities on what she chooses to spend that amount of money on.

Personally, even though I could afford it, if I was spending that amount I’d much rather spend it holidaying abroad than be worrying about the British weather or being tied to everyone else’s plans. What’s sounds like a perfect trip for you may not be something that appeals to her and even though she may have agreed initially she may not have realised just how much it was going to cost.

You sound like a bossy controlling sister.
Please stop, you don't get to decide.
All you will do is fracture the relationship.
Maybe she doesn't want to spend the money on that holiday.

It's not essential for you to have your niece come in your holiday.

Agree that you shouid offer to host your niece (and cover all her costs) - and see what she says to that. If she turns down your offer, maybe there's another reason, eg your niece isn't as into the idea as you thought, or has other plans herself - but at least you can be certain that's it not down to money, or not being able to take the time off work, or anything like that.

Please don't weapons your kids. They might be a bit disappointed but they dint care that much.

Unless you've massively amd disproportionately overhyped their cousin coming, it's not that big a deal to say, sorry x can't come now.

Yes we spent 4K but its for a luxury house for two weeks and two days and will be our only holiday this year

That's fine if it's a holiday you actually want to go on, and that you will enjoy more than an equivalently priced (or cheaper) holiday elsewhere. For most people, I think a cottage in the UK staying with extended family for two weeks would not be their top choice to spend their holiday fund on.

but it’s a bit shit to say she’s going to come, tell the kids, then back out

No it isn't. Your kids can't possibly be that needy that they're going to be crushed with disappoint to learn that one of their cousins isn't going to be on holiday with them. If they are, it's because you've built it up into a massive deal for some reason.

Really, Really, Really. I use a lady called Christine who is a Travel Counsellor. Also dependent on when you book most cruise lines offer the drinks package for free at some stage through the year. Aer Lingus were offering some cracking prices for flights to MCO from Manchester about 24/18 months ago, though sadly, not anymore!

And that’s absolutely fine if you want to spend £6k on a holiday in Norfolk. I would never, however ‘luxury’ it is.
Equally, it would be fine if the OP’s sister decided she wanted to spend £1.2k on a week in the UK, but clearly she’s decided that that it’s not a financial priority for her. It’s a lot of money if you don’t want to spend it.

God you sound entitled. I was a lone parent for many years, you DO NOT get to decide what spend she should be prioritising. She might just not want the ball ache of travelling solo with her DC or many other reasons. Just back off.

The op was asked a few times what the ages were. She didn’t respond. So I’m going to hazard a guess that her own children are younger, and so this won’t be anywhere near as appealing for the older cousin. I liked the idea upthread that if it means so much to your children, you could offer to pay for your niece and your sister could enjoy a break if she wants one.

We have a similar single income to cover 2 adults and 2 kids, because I cba working. We go to Asia for 4-5 weeks in the summer holidays, and have a couple of European city breaks, but I would probably say that I couldn't afford to pay a grand for a week in the UK as to me it would not be worth it. I'd rather have a week abroad.

I'm sorry but for those who said £1200 is not that expensive, yes it freaking is. For this money I would expect a large house with pool/hot tub that could acomodate 2-3 families. 1200 for two people plus the extra expenses, I would go to an all inclusive holiday in Portugal, Spain, Turkey or Greece where is nice and hot and can sip Margaritas without worrying what will I eat for dinner.
No is a full sentence. She does not have to explain herself but she did and you used this to judge her with pleading poverty" "mean" and the manipulative "poor children". Not wanting to spend those money or chanhi g her mind about it is not "pleading poverty" is making decisions that are sensible for her family and her circumstances. Your children are not her responsability to entertain, manage expectations amd don't expect the world to bow for your children. Get of your high horse and stop judgjng people like that you come across as mean and bitchy. Mind your own holiday and leave her alone.

So she's not going. It's her decision. If her daughter is disappointed that's for her to deal with. Just go as arranged. For all you know she has other plans for outside the UK.

Maybe she's thinking about her bills and can she afford to go on holiday.

Do you know how much rent/housing is when you have to shoulder that burden alone? Also you can go abroad for that money plus the expenses while away are far higher on holiday in the UK.

You also sound kind of judgy of her perhaps she was fine for her kid to go but didn't want to come herself

£1200 for a week in the UK? nope, could get a week abroad for that.