Why is it that being an introvert is viewed as a bad thing?

[Parmaviolets101]

I’m very much an introvert.

I think all through my youth I tried to fight against it because it wasn’t really cool to be introvert.

I do very much enjoy company but I don’t like big gatherings, I much prefer meeting people one on one so that you can actually enjoy a good quality conversation. I am quite happy being alone as I need a the time to recharge.

I like quiet activities, walking, cinema, going for coffee, museums, site-seeing.

I still feel as though if you don’t enjoy parties, drinking, dancing, going out in big groups then you are looked down on as being boring and a bit weird.

Also, another thing that fascinates me is that they say that extroverts recharge by being with other people. If you are an extrovert, do you find being alone draining in the same way that I would find being with people too much draining?

I can’t help you with any of that as that wasn’t what I was referring to. I mean the people who go into reams of details about themselves and then don’t have the ability to follow up with ‘what about you? how is your x, y, z’ etc

Like a pp, this is news to me, that introverts are viewed badly. Online communication platforms are full of of introverts extolling the virtues of being introverted. Usually with many references to the Susan Cain book. It's extraverts that get a bad press.

I'm introverted, but people seem to assume that they can just talk at me and tell me all their problems and that I never want to say anything back. I can't be bothered to socialise now as it gets me down.

TBH, all the stuff I have seen online has been moaning about extroverts not being able to shut up etc. Nothing bad about introverts at all.

I am introvert, but if I am in a group of people that I know well and trust... I do struggle to shut up 😅
I need alone time to recharge before I can see people again. That is what makes me an introvert.

It is nothing to do with how chatty you are you. You can be an extrovert and be very shy. You can be an introvert and the life and soul of a party.

I reject the premise of introverts v extroverts - I think it's a massive oversimplification. Obviously there are extremes of hermits and social butterflies, but the vast majority of people are somewhere in between.

How people feel in a situation is as much to do with their own energy levels, the people they're with and their comfort in the setting as with any innate personality trait. Few people are gregarious in every scenario.

IMO only the more extrovert types who see it as a bad thing. If you’re not like them, there’s something wrong with you!

I have one highly extrovert and sociable dd, and one who (like me) is certainly less so. And I know that although she doesn’t exactly say it, the extrovert dd thinks there’s something wrong with us!

On the surface I appear reasonably extroverted. But I think I’m more of what’s called a pseudo extrovert. So like like a big gathering, a party, a wild night out fork time to time. But my social battery definitely runs dry quicker than many peoples and then I need time to go away and recharge.

basically because you dont network in a company sense, at least thats what manager once said about it

Yeah people are much more complex and ultimately it's a false dichotomy that originally as I understand it came from some sort of marketing campaign.

Now there's the added problem that a lot of people use the word introvert when the behaviour they're describing is more misanthropy than anything else.

I agree. Why does no one ever shame extroverts for being so f- ing loud and overbearing and needy? I know extroverts who can’t bear to be alone for five goddam minutes. They constantly need drama and gossip and attention. It’s pathetic. It’s like they’ve got no inner life at all.

Well they do shame them all the time, like you just did. I've read many similar comments.

Exactly. It's been commonly considered a thinly veiled humble-brag in most places for at least a decade.

Back in the 2010s I felt like I couldn't go a day without seeing a "look at these loud, vacuous, horrible extroverts, eww" meme/comic. Maybe they were more common in certain parts of the internet, but they weren't rare.

THIS 👆is why introverts get a bad press. Because they quietly judge everyone else in hyperbolic terms like this and think they’re superior because they think they’re the only ones who have a ‘rich inner life’. 🙄 yeah…ok love

THIS with bells on.

Side note, I also think there is a perception that it is synonymous with "shy".

I have seen tons of shaming of extroverts.

And again, loud =/= extroverted.

"On the internet, everyone can hear you being Sartre"

Im an introvert who even at 60 still loves socialising, dancing, music events etc but I'm selectively social and i absolutely need downtime to recharge after I’ve been around people

I’ve never felt looked down on. I’ve always had good friends who accept each other as we are.

I think being an introvert has never been more on trend tbh.

Wow. Lots of extroverts on here wondering what is wrong with everyone else in the world. Entitled much? "I have nothing against introverts I just wish they would stay home if they are going to be difficult. If they aren't in a chatty mood then why are they here? ' Because not everything is about you. The introvert isn't being lazy, they are wondering why you have cornered them and seem determined to extract conversation like an impacted wisdom tooth. Jeez.

Shy =/= being introverted

I find the only people 'shaming others' tend to be unhappy themselves.

You are free to say those replies to those who decline walking and swimming too.

Now… I would like to be an introvert and just be able to sit and listen, however, I sometimes find myself in situations that if I didn’t talk, then we’d sit in uncomfortable silence (mainly when children’s friends are over for dinner, so I have to ask 100+ questions). So I’m forced to be an extrovert.

You sound cross.

This is what we need. More peevish quiet bat people.

Because introverts are boring. They don’t speak up much or share themselves with others as easily. I should know I’m one of them. I find the most extroverted people utterly draining. I get on best with ambiverts