Is this illegal?

[CarlStoleMyUnderpants]

Discovered someone is cheating on his wife and have contacted two of his siblings to tell them so they can surreptitiously investigate and look out for the wife. I can't prove it as it would be hearsay, but I hoped they'd try and look at his devices or keep an ear out to gain evidence. Have I gone too far? I absolutely know this is happening.

Unless you've taken out a contract, no it's not illegal.

Do you mean is it slander?

why do you care what MN likes?

Get a life.

You actually think that this man’s siblings should be investigating his devices?

Clearly this is AI, but assuming it isn’t, you need to get out more.

No. It isn't slander because it's the truth. Or libel. I meant in terms of malicious communication.

Well aren't you just simply ridiculous. Who are you, the morality police?

Why on earth do you think someone's siblings should be 'informed' of their other sibling's sex-life? Intrusive much!

You need to mind your own business and keep your nose out.

So you don’t want her to know about his deceit, then?

It is not AI.

He’s already betrayed his wife. Even if he stops now, the betrayal has happened. Do you think when she finds out she’ll be like ‘oh but it’s ok because his siblings told him to stop and he did’?

Christ, just mind your own business. What the hell has it got to do with you?

Just tell his wife to look through his phone and be done with it

Or do you not want your name bought into it?

I can't get over the OP deciding to tell the siblings of the alleged cheater instead of not interfering or telling the wife because ... she was worried about being told off on MN!

God knows. She is madly in love with him, just posted about their wedding anniversary and how grateful for him she is. Meanwhile he's been cheating for four years with at least one woman. She doesn't deserve it and he definitely doesn't deserve her.

WWYD? Would you tell her? The person I know best in this is the affair partner.

What do YOU stand to get out of confronting him then?

Why on earth would you tell his siblings, but not his wife?

How utterly humiliating for her to have multiple people - people likely to be on his side - talking about her marriage behind her back.

Either tell his wife or say nothing. Inviting multiple others to gossip and help him does absolutely morning to help her.

I don't care about being told off on MN. I know that MN talk about various options, like they're in an open marriage or she knows and doesn't care, so it was a sort of sense check.

I can show them how they can prove it.

How can they prove it?

Does it involve hacking?

Shouldn't his wife be told so she can decide whether she wants anything more to do with him. You are hoping to make him stop but not tell his wife that her life has been a lie. Tell the person that needs to know, his wife, not everyone else.

No, just getting hold of his phone behind his back. Is that hacking, or just snooping? Of course, he could delete everything.

Are you the husband of the affair partner?

Are you hoping to get with his wife?

How are you so sure his siblings will side with you and 'investigate' on your behalf, don't they get on?

He has already betrayed her. Past tense, not present.

It's not illegal to commit adultery. It's not illegal to inform someone their partner is cheating. What IS illegal is tapping their phone, hacking their emails, putting trackers on their car.

I am 100% not wrong.

Nobody is tapping, hacking or tracking (afaik anyway.)

Why are you getting involved, stay out of it.
Or are you the bit on the side.

stupid. Tell his wife or stay out.