Keeping DD off school due to period

[Girlymum26]

My DD is 10 years old and is in year 5 at school and just started her period for the first time on Sunday evening this week and she came and told me as soon as she noticed.

We have had plenty of chats about it and she’s had the lessons in school so knows all about it and why she had them and even about changing pads and she seemed to take it in her stride, although a little bit embarrassed.

I was at work on Monday and Tuesday this week and my husband made her go to school as he does the drop of these days and said it’s “just a period” and that she couldn’t stay off school for it. I had no say in it as start work at 6am.

She’s leaked both Monday and Tuesday and she said she’s really sore where her pads have been rubbing her skin and leaking and her tummy hurts so I’ve kept her off today as it’s my day off.

Ive given her some calpol, some sudocreme for her sore rash and ordered some of the lil-lets teen pads which are more narrow so shouldn’t rub anymore and got some period pants too to protect against any leaks. We are just having a quiet girly day to help her get to grips with it all but I’ve explained she will need to go to school tomorrow and Friday.

I’ve called school and explained why she wasn’t in and they were really sympathetic and her teacher called me back and has said she can go to toilet during lessons if she wants to change her pad as it was turns out she was too embarrassed to change it when anyone else was in the bathroom at the same time and that is she’s going to struggle with PE this week they won’t make her do it.

Husband is not happy I’ve kept her off and said I’m making a rod for my own back even though I’ve explained it’s just for today, to help her out a bit.

AIBU to have kept her off do you think?

Your son is a gem! Well done!
Couldnt read some of the responses and not say that I wholeheartedly agree with you, you absolutely did the right thing. She isn’t in year 8 or 9 and it’s normal with friends, she’s so little and needs help navigating it.
Your husband needs a talking to, and so does anyone on this thread who doesn’t agree.

I have a 10yo DD and would 100% keep her off for a day at least. I’d want her to feel confident that she’s got her head around it. Your DS sounds lovely!

This is the clip

Your son sounds more empathetic and sensible than his dad!

I just don’t get this. Other women going well mine are ok or mine were heavy etc like the one above. My daughter has a very high pain threshold eg dislocated knee she whimpered but no tears. First period at 15 crying her eyes out, couldn’t walk, vomiting - GP gave her painkillers very little impact and then a drug to shorten them the next cycle and same again and then she said - no woman, no woman needs this - she was a part time gynaecologist at the local hospital and said no, no this isn’t normal. Period pain isn’t normal. Men don’t have this. It’s not a badge of honour. I expected a battle to get her help, I didn’t have one. GP was like right likely endometriosis, let’s get a plan now. No more of this.

For you to make a comment like this - of look my periods were bad and heavy and look at me - just no. Zero empathy - the OP daughter is 10 and your can’t compare your periods with hers.

Having spent years being unable to compete at my sport at international level because of my period pain and endometriosis it took until I was in my 20s for someone to stop them. The two days before I couldn’t train, never mind the 7 days of my period - so 1/3 I couldn’t train. Let me say this no woman, no woman should have period pain. It’s not acceptable in 2026. None.

WTH? Surely you know about cramps and feeling nauseous if you have your period even if you don’t experience it? Please Please say you do.

What the fuck has it got to do with your husband?

Is he generally a twat?

I agree. It's excruciating painful forsome women. I am usually taking dihydrocodeine paracetamol and ibuprofen when I have mine to keep the pain under control. Only for the first two days, but still, that's two days I am no use to anyone.

Oh really. I have no empathy. My mum suffered from more or less clinical depression for two weeks every month due to a hormone imbalance because of her periods - she went to doctors over and over. She suffered for decades and it's it was only solved when she had the Mirena coil put in

I didn't say look at me on any level. I was completely debilitated by period pain for years. I had to go on the pill at 18 to get some respite. When I was 13 I was walking to school one day and I had an underskirt on and someone told me that I had bled all over it - I would rather not have had such problematic periods.

In my late 20s my mum had to travel 40 miles to my work to bring me fresh clothes because I bled everywhere and I wasn't allowed to leave the building - I worked in a supported housing unit

Period pain isn't acceptable in 2026? Well some girls and women do suffer from period pain - and what you have just done is gone in on me because other people did previously - without knowing anything about me

I didn't compare anyone with anything. I asked a question. No more than that

Period pain isn't normal - then why do so many people suffer? I didn't post anything I did because of a badge of honour. Once more. I asked a question

Im going to contact the admin - this is getting out of hand - you know nothing about me or my life - you're just lining up to put the boot in - hope that word salad made you feel better

I once bled for 9 weeks solid in my 20s and nothing could stop it. My GP thought I was having a an early miscarriage and it might have been - I'll never know. You really don't need you try and make me feel bad over one post that wasn't offensive

Go pick on other people who said worse than me - you won't though

You can be civil. No need to be offensive. MN is getting worse!!! Honestly, be respectful to other posters. Just because we all have differing opinions doesn't give anyone the right to be offensive.

I still let my daughter have a day off school on the first day of her period if she is feeling dreadful. She is 14 now. I remember sitting at school feeling gross and in pain on the first day. I don't want that for her. We get reproductive leave at work too.

Again, what's with being offensive? Completely uncalled for. This forum is ridiculous. Hiding behind a screen is no excuse.

I had very heavy periods from the age of twelve when they started - and for decades after - hopefully that clarifies for the people who seem to think my periods were only problematic in later life - that's not the case at all. I used to pass huge clots every month. I was in agony all throughout my teen years and for decades after. Going on the pill gave me some respite and then it just went back to being awful again

I was also shamed in the workplace because I had left a tiny spot of blood in the toilet. I honestly didn't realise. It was during an episode where I was just flooding and nothing could be done about it. I was shamed by my female manager after my mum brought me fresh clothes in

Im sick of this -and the mods do need to know - because a bunch of women running around singling out one person on here - and that person right now seems to be me. Isn't on - and I won't tolerate it

Nothing about my post was trying to belittle the OP or her daughter - but it's clear some people on here get off on telling people what they think. Why they've posted something - it's probably better not to post at all - because any slight difference of opinion - hung out to dry all over the place

I did the same when my DD had her first period, I got a similar response from school too. My DD hasn't had another day off due to periods and it's been 4 years now.
I think you did the right thing, helping her feel secure and manage the first one will help her manage the future ones better.

My son came home from pshe talking about the 'minstrel cycle' and asked why it was called that, bless him 😆

PS You and OP sound like lovely mums

The OPs husband has already been described as a "misogynist cunt". Looking at the first post it seems that both him and his wife were working this week at least until Tuesday

So how could the OPs daughter have two days off earlier in the week if both of them work. He's been criticised for not keeping her off. Unless he works from home.

Does your husband work from home? Because that might have given more context on why he felt she had to go to school when she had her period.

He does WFH normally. But not this week, had to go to the office this week all week. And whilst my MIL is retired and pretty good at helping with the kids if needed, my FIL is on end of life care so she needs to be able to dash off to the hospital at the drop of a hat

That is completely my point. Someone referred to your husband as a misogynistic cunt for the way he handled your daughter having her first period. But if he was going to work and you were going to work this week - where else would she go? He might not have phrased what he said well - but that doesn't necessarily mean he's a misogynist or a cunt.

My mum was a single parent and worked, she was a teacher so had to be in class so when my periods started I had to go to school. My gran at that point lived two miles away and didn't drive - some families don't have loads of cousins or extended family who can just drop things to support at 24 hours notice.

Maybe he should have taken two days off so your daughter could have stayed home - but not all employers would support that

There's no easy answers - and it's different for everyone.

Sorry to hear about your FIL.

I ended up having to have time off school with my period when I was young. I had flooding so bad it just wouldn't have been possible to leave the house and terrible period pain that even ibuprofen, paracetamol and codeine didn't get under control.

Hopefully your daughter never experiences anything like that, but it seems perfectly reasonable to me that she might need the odd day off while she's getting used to things, especially as she's so young for them to start.

I have a 10 year old and I would be letting her stay off too if & when she gets hers. As for your DH, typical man 😡😡 you can feel v sick with a period. More so than a sore throat etc and most kids would stay off with something like that!

Did you read my other posts - including the one where my mum suffered for decades with her periods because of a hormone imbalance and it pretty much left her suffering from clinical depression

Anyway I'm going to delete my account. I have had people going in on me all night over this when other people have been much more critical

I'm quite aware that women do too much. My dad walked out on me when I was three, he had money but we never saw any of it. Two pounds a week till I was 16 and my brothers dad was even worse.

My gran on my dad's side worked herself into an early grave - I do know how hard women have it

This is one of the nastiest threads I have ever posted on on these boards - I have ptsd and anxiety and depression - I'm currently suffering from insomnia and it's literally ruining my life and I can't cope with the flak I'm getting over one non offensive post - so I'm out.

It's not worth it.

Sorry that I didn't phrase my question in the right style so that people wouldn't go in on me over and over - meanwhile it's ok for some people to call the husband a misogynist cunt -

Seriously. Fuck this

That is a different issue though.