Keeping DD off school due to period

[Girlymum26]

My DD is 10 years old and is in year 5 at school and just started her period for the first time on Sunday evening this week and she came and told me as soon as she noticed.

We have had plenty of chats about it and she’s had the lessons in school so knows all about it and why she had them and even about changing pads and she seemed to take it in her stride, although a little bit embarrassed.

I was at work on Monday and Tuesday this week and my husband made her go to school as he does the drop of these days and said it’s “just a period” and that she couldn’t stay off school for it. I had no say in it as start work at 6am.

She’s leaked both Monday and Tuesday and she said she’s really sore where her pads have been rubbing her skin and leaking and her tummy hurts so I’ve kept her off today as it’s my day off.

Ive given her some calpol, some sudocreme for her sore rash and ordered some of the lil-lets teen pads which are more narrow so shouldn’t rub anymore and got some period pants too to protect against any leaks. We are just having a quiet girly day to help her get to grips with it all but I’ve explained she will need to go to school tomorrow and Friday.

I’ve called school and explained why she wasn’t in and they were really sympathetic and her teacher called me back and has said she can go to toilet during lessons if she wants to change her pad as it was turns out she was too embarrassed to change it when anyone else was in the bathroom at the same time and that is she’s going to struggle with PE this week they won’t make her do it.

Husband is not happy I’ve kept her off and said I’m making a rod for my own back even though I’ve explained it’s just for today, to help her out a bit.

AIBU to have kept her off do you think?

This. If i’d had DDs my DH would have known better not to try to argue with me about periods and school absence.

Congratulations on raising a lovely son, if only more were like this, and not like his dad!

You did the right thing. My dd started in the school holidays and I was so relieved she had space to work out what worked for her. The best thing she has used is Wuka pants. They look like normal pants, last a full school day, and are really comfy.

What a lovely young man you’re raising in her older brother. This new generation of young men can teach their dads a thing or two!

Why do girls with periods need to be excused from PE? I was twelve when I started mine - and I suffered from heavy periods and cramping/clotting for a lot of my life - but I still did PE. I personally think we need to normalise periods - exercise isn't bad when someone has their period . I'm an ex fitness instructor and I taught classes through painful heavy periods. The only potential issues could be leaks - but these things happen. She'll be doing PE until she leaves school most likely.

I know some women suffer much more than I did - but when my periods were at their heaviest I was using super plus tampons and a sanitary towel as well.

Some of us have extremely painful periods than prevent us from walking.

If my daughter has periods like me (light, not painful), no chance of giving her a day off school.

My friend's child gets excruciating pain and floods through period pants in which case I would be much more sympathetic.

Id be mega disappointed if my husband responded to my dd and her 1st period like that.

I did say in my post above that I suffered from heavy periods and pain most of my adult life - assuming that that isn't the case for the OPs daughter - there's no reason why she can't do PE. She's a swimmer according to other posts

Firstly it's so difficult for young girls. She's 10.just a little girl! Your DH needs a talk in how to get.in touch with his feminine side.can u get her some period pants may be better for her.i.dont think.any problem with a day.off now and then.Italy is advocating for time off for periods apparently.

YANU. It’s a one off not every time but in this moment it’s what your daughter needs I think.

100% you did the right thing

Oh, how did your DH act when he had his last period?

That’s right, he’s never had one, so why does he think he gets an opinion?

The way he’s acted towards your DD is horribly unsympathetic.

Definitely necessary to take the day off - if it's her first period there's no way of knowing how heavy or painful it will be, and she needs to learn how to use and change pads and avoid leaks. I can't imagine just dropping her off and expecting her to deal with that on her own!

The work place and school life are set up around men and boys.

Work especially- assuming that every day is the same for everyone. A world set up for women would see a flexible working month, where employees could take time off for period pains and make it up at another point in the month.

Women are well known to have more stamina than men, and I wouldn’t be surprised if in general get through more work overall.

The lovely supportive way you've handled it will have a bigger impact on her life than the content of the lessons she missed.

Yes but OPs daughter is 10 years old, is already sore from not having managed the situation properly for the first few days and has leaked twice two days in a row. I dont think anyone’s suggesting she’ll need to miss PE forevermore but this week when she’s already struggling to cope with the situation plus the pain I think it’s probably ok to miss it this once.

OP your son sounds lovely. Shame your DH wasn’t quite so considerate

WTF @Megifer? I no longer have a uterus as a direct result of having a really shitty time with periods and hormone imbalances which ultimately resulted in endometrial cancer.
My no longer having a uterus but having had more than enough experience having one means I’m perfectly capable of having an opinion on this thanks!

I stayed mine at 11, had a whole week off school for the first one, spending time with my DM and getting the hang of the whole thing.

Unfortunately mine were regular as clockwork from the beginning, heavy and extremely painful so it wasn't the only time I missed school and I routinely missed PE.

When your husband has dealt with menstrual periods age 10 he can have an opinion. Till then nope.

If she was off every month, your comment would be totally fair and correct.

She’s 10 years old, it’s her first one and she has leaked the first two days. She needs a break from the pressure and some time with her mum for reassurance.

Periods can absolutely be like an illness and debilitating if you have heavy bleedings, severe pain, migraine, endo etc. I suffered from all of these from when I first got my period at age 8. Period is not the same for everyone.

She really needs to be at school.

Oh ffs im so sorry!!! 😫😫😫 i got mixed up with uterus/or had one but dont anymore as im used to putting that disclaimer in when discussing other topics relating to women.

Genuinely sorry of course any woman who had a uterus has an opinion on this

Im an absolute knob 😭😭