Keeping DD off school due to period

[Girlymum26]

My DD is 10 years old and is in year 5 at school and just started her period for the first time on Sunday evening this week and she came and told me as soon as she noticed.

We have had plenty of chats about it and she’s had the lessons in school so knows all about it and why she had them and even about changing pads and she seemed to take it in her stride, although a little bit embarrassed.

I was at work on Monday and Tuesday this week and my husband made her go to school as he does the drop of these days and said it’s “just a period” and that she couldn’t stay off school for it. I had no say in it as start work at 6am.

She’s leaked both Monday and Tuesday and she said she’s really sore where her pads have been rubbing her skin and leaking and her tummy hurts so I’ve kept her off today as it’s my day off.

Ive given her some calpol, some sudocreme for her sore rash and ordered some of the lil-lets teen pads which are more narrow so shouldn’t rub anymore and got some period pants too to protect against any leaks. We are just having a quiet girly day to help her get to grips with it all but I’ve explained she will need to go to school tomorrow and Friday.

I’ve called school and explained why she wasn’t in and they were really sympathetic and her teacher called me back and has said she can go to toilet during lessons if she wants to change her pad as it was turns out she was too embarrassed to change it when anyone else was in the bathroom at the same time and that is she’s going to struggle with PE this week they won’t make her do it.

Husband is not happy I’ve kept her off and said I’m making a rod for my own back even though I’ve explained it’s just for today, to help her out a bit.

AIBU to have kept her off do you think?

Yanbu. I'm a lot older than your dd and I struggle with periods. I had to go on a day trip on day 2 last month and I managed it but it was very difficult and I had to bring 10 tampons, spare pants, pads etc with me.

Well I'm nearly 52 and struggling today with heavy flow, bad cramps and nausea. I don't think there's anything wrong with giving a ten-year-old a bit of extra TLC.

I'm sorry but the parent with the penis doesn't get a say in this given he clearly doesn't understand how dramatic and life changing this can be at her age. It's her very first one, shes inexperienced, embarrassed, has leaked and needs a bit of time to get used to it all. Unless shes one of the poor fuckers that suffers terribly with periods then no she shouldn't be off school every month but for today, sure you absolutely made the right call. How lovely of your DS to look out for his wee sister as well, you are clearly doing a great job rearing them both

Whoa! Very judgemental post. My daughter has horrific period pain. She vomits from the pain. It’s awful for her. She started when she was 9.

We have it under control now as she is on prescription meds from a gynae.

Don’t be so high and mighty and lacking in empathy.

No one wants to make it a big deal but some women do really suffer and need some care and understanding until they get the hang of it.

You don’t sound very nice.

‘Just a period’? When he is leaking blood from his genitals with severe cramping he can talk. Men that dismiss things like this are arseholes. I had debilitating pain that made me throw up and pass out. Luckily the pill worked for me but if my father had dared to say that my mother would have chucked him out as she also suffered.

Year 5 is so young. My DD1 started her periods then too and we had some awful issues with it. She needed a day at home with someone who understood and hopefully will be feeling more confident tomorrow.
Dad doesn't get a say until he has a period.

Oh your older son... that's just made me tear up. You must be a great mum.

I just came on to say - 10 is so young! I remember my first period at 13 and I could barely stand up it hurt so much. And was mortified by the sensation and smells... it was traumatic at first!

It’s early to start and you’re doing the right thing, but once she’s set up with the right pads and period pants (and pain relief) she should be going in.
Her periods may be irregular for a bit anyway. DD had a few months’ gap between first and second (she was 13).
I wish period pants and a variety of pads were available when I started in the mid-80s. My mum gave me a looped towel 🤦‍♀️

OMG THIS!!!

You have definitely done the right thing! Your DD will remember the support and understanding you gave her. Your DH has no say in this at all.

If your husband or indeed any man had periods they would be on the floor. The shit women have to deal with and the child is only 10 having her first time. YANBU.

I used to vomit any painkillers up, they weren’t even dissolved just straight back up. I was suicidal with pain…but it’s normal right? Fuck off and when you get there fuck of again!

My daughter uses period pants and rarely uses anything else. She loves them.
100% I would have kept my daughter off for the first time, you may learn the theory but dealing with a period, for the first time can be hard especially when so young. I was 13 when I had to do this. Not 10 and in primary school.

No say in his own child's education. Don't be so ridiculous. Should women have no say in their son's upbringing because they've never been a boy?

This. Can I suggest no pads and multiple pairs of great quality period pants. I got my daughter some when hers started and got her decent decent ones and multiple ones eg heavy whatever and a bikini and swim suit. She’s over 18 now. And started at 15 and she said thank god you got it. Endometriosis runs in our family and her first and second period were painful so she went to our very sympathetic female GP who discussed all her options and stopped her periods medically. We did all the research and had all the period pants etc but it was total and utter agony for her. OP your daughter is 10 that is so young and she needs empathy and kindness.

The OP poster husband is a total wanker and needs to watch that video of men experiencing period pain with tens machine - and grow some empathy. I am seriously worried men like this exist and honestly don’t get it or period cramps, or the general shittiness of periods and having a monthly bleed as they don’t! As a 10 year old boy you don’t have these worries. I remember my son coming home and saying Hannah (changed her name) had cramps at break time (year 6) and the teacher said they were girl cramps I couldn’t do anything for her but I gave her my snack and I stayed in with her so she wasn’t on her own and we played uno as she’s my friend. He was 10 and he understood.

YANBU and I can’t believe your husband is trying to weigh in on something like this for he has no personal experience to understand.

Oh bless her of course YANBU. My DD started the end of year 5 too, it is so young to deal with it all. Period pants have been brilliant for her, she has the wuka flexi fit ones. It’s good that school are aware now so can support her

You’ve had great replies. I work in primary school and I would absolutely authorise a couple of days off sick for a girls first period (and onwards if problematic). Your husband is a dick and your son is a fab big brother.

Wow. 10yo is very young! No wonder she's having a tough time. I think you have done the right thing.

One day to help her sort herself out and overcome embarrassment you probabky both didnt expect her to face so young. Sounds like youre an amazing mum and im pleased the school are so helpful.

Girls shouldn't be dealing with this stuff so young.

I'd have kept mine off, my daughter started at 9 she is oldest in the class, period knickers are amazing and if you get heavy flow ones they'll last all the school day. Much more comfortable than pads too.

agree with others who are disgusted at your husbands reaction, she's only 10!

@Girlymum26 another one applauding her big brother's actions. He sounds a sweetheart. You've done all the right things keeping her off today. Letting her process it at home with Mum. Plenty of time to plough on through the pain in the years to come. Am too old to have ever used period pants but they sound a great invention. Like another poster I remember being given looped towels my first time. Some things are definitely better. Although some men's attitudes are still stuck in the 50s.

Why?! What is the British obsession with 100% attendance?!

What a LOVELY big brother!