Keeping DD off school due to period

[Girlymum26]

My DD is 10 years old and is in year 5 at school and just started her period for the first time on Sunday evening this week and she came and told me as soon as she noticed.

We have had plenty of chats about it and she’s had the lessons in school so knows all about it and why she had them and even about changing pads and she seemed to take it in her stride, although a little bit embarrassed.

I was at work on Monday and Tuesday this week and my husband made her go to school as he does the drop of these days and said it’s “just a period” and that she couldn’t stay off school for it. I had no say in it as start work at 6am.

She’s leaked both Monday and Tuesday and she said she’s really sore where her pads have been rubbing her skin and leaking and her tummy hurts so I’ve kept her off today as it’s my day off.

Ive given her some calpol, some sudocreme for her sore rash and ordered some of the lil-lets teen pads which are more narrow so shouldn’t rub anymore and got some period pants too to protect against any leaks. We are just having a quiet girly day to help her get to grips with it all but I’ve explained she will need to go to school tomorrow and Friday.

I’ve called school and explained why she wasn’t in and they were really sympathetic and her teacher called me back and has said she can go to toilet during lessons if she wants to change her pad as it was turns out she was too embarrassed to change it when anyone else was in the bathroom at the same time and that is she’s going to struggle with PE this week they won’t make her do it.

Husband is not happy I’ve kept her off and said I’m making a rod for my own back even though I’ve explained it’s just for today, to help her out a bit.

AIBU to have kept her off do you think?

No idea where the gif came from. Apologies. Anyway. Out.

@scottishgirl69you are massively derailing the thread. Sorry you’ve had hard times in life, I’m sure many of us have too. But we are still entitled to our opinions. The OP Dh sounds like a dickhead and she has done everything right to make her daughter feel supported and comfortable in this situation.

Essentially if you don't agree with the majority on this thread and dare ask a question. You're the worst person in the world. The OP was polite to me when we spoke - so why do other people have an issue?

Same as the OPs husband has to be a misogynist cunt - because people on here say so

How sad

I guess because it's fairly obvious why some girls might not be able to do PE when on their period. You have got increasingly defensive about it through your replies.

I mean regardless of what husband says as a mother I would never have allowed my girls to go first time period and I took those days off work and we chilled, found what they were comfy with, talked a lot more and navigated the first time nicely and spoke of next time and how it works at school and clubs etc. dh was very good with them spoilt them rotten when he got home and still does now as older teens when he knows there feeling off. Didn't have any embarrassing times as our family always open about everything from girls to boys

'No say in his child's upbringing' is a bit dramatic for one specific decision...he has no experience with this issue so his opinion is unqualified.

And you thought that was a great system to perpetuate?

Would he expect to continue as normal with abdominal cramps and a rash on his nether regions? Quite aside from the blood. What a neanderthal

Is your husband a man who never had a period in his life?! YANBU

So people who have time off school or work because of periods do you do this every month?

There is more of a difference in experience than you are acknowledging or aware of.

I had an horrendous experience of PE on the worst period days:

Doing the class itself was extremely difficult because I felt really tired and weak and in pain. Physical things I could normally do (eg climb a rope) I couldn’t do,

PE also really exacerbated my pain so was left in agony class.

Leaking was not an issue as the periods weren’t especially heavy just excruciating.

My DD has a different experience sometimes had leaks but finds exercising during her period helps her cramps and doesn’t affect her performance, she is happy to do it.

We had no choice and our individual experience wasn’t listened to. I’m glad my DD has a more positive experience of body autonomy. Those were not the good old days.

It’s good that you had painless periods. I have to take the pill just so that I can actually walk. Thankfully I’m in the minority and most girls and women have cramps but not severe pain.

@Girlymum26 it’s fine as a one off but she can’t take days off school every time she is on her period. Most girls have normal cramps and periods and can do PE. If she manages after some calpol (which is lower dose than paracetamol tablets) then she’s fine to go to school.

You are massively derailing the post.
People have responded to you (yes, mostly disagreeing) with your views on the topic at hand and you are turning it around to completely unrelated topics.

Of you wish to discuss your childhood, your insomnia etc perhaps make your own thread? It'd be more beneficial for you.

My oldest daughter is 12 but had her first period at the age of 9..... she turned 10 3 months later. She is a SEND child so we only use period pants and reusable pads as she is extremely heavy. So period pants with a reusable pad, if thr reusable pad gets full she can take that oit and out it in a waterproof bag in her backpack. And then the period pants last the remainder of the day. She does have atleast 1 day off school every period, mostly 2 to be honest. This is mainly due to pain as she does pass out and/or vimit from the pain. We are on paediatric gynae waiting list, so I would keep an eye on how heavy your daughter is and how much pain she is in. As doctors wont prescribe amyghing due to her age, but could refer to gynae.

My youngest daughter is now 11, she started her periods a month after she turned 10 years old. She also wears period pants but is a normal flow amd doesn't get the excruciating pain her sister gets, so she doesn't have days off school for her period.

I think explaining to your husband that it isnt 'just a period ' for some females. Sometimes it is quite debilitating. I dont disagree with keeping your daughter off to get to grips with her first period, and possibly the second to check her flow, see how she gets on with the period pants in regards to leaking ect. My girls have had periods for some time now, but it is still very embarrassing for them, as it qould be for us if we leaked to be fair.

Good luck and I hope she doesn't find her periods too painful.

Ive never had very painful periods but from what I've read here its akin to going to school or work whilst in childbirth sounds horrific.

Absolutely fine to keep her off. I'm a go in unless your head has detached from your body kind of mum and even I'd have given her the day off, poor thing.

Do get some period pants, they last the whole school day, look like normal knickers and are nice and soft.

DH can shut his face.

Your husband sounds vile and misogynistic. I'd tell him you feel he is misogynistic and this is 'womens business' and he does not understand so needs to leave this to you. And finally say when he gets a period and has cramps that feels like his balls are being dragged down THEN and ONLY THEN can he have an opinion. Until then he needs to butt out of it completely and trust you. What a pig! I'd be furious with him if I were you and I wouldn't sleep with him until he gave you and your daughter, a groveling apology.

@Carycach4

so this is the girl’s FIRST period. How would the mum know whether other meds are necessary other than having gone through a few cycles?

It’s the first time and she is young.

You also used the term “wussing out” - would you say that to someone’s face?
If she turns out to be anaemic due to heavy bleeds and all the other gynae conditions that take ages to diagnose (because of attitudes like yours), would you still call it “wussing out”?

You sound insensitive and thoughtless.

Theres no indication of any anaemia etc going on here.

@Carycach4 because it’s the young girl’s first ever period. Please read to comprehend not just to reply.

If men had periods the trenches would be full of crying troops every 30 days!

Men are the biggest whingers and cowards when it comes to injections and blood tests. I had a blood test last time my relative was here and he couldnt even look at the needle going in, let alone the vial filling up. I thought he was going to faint because the HCP needed to fill 6 vials.

There were no period pants when I was a teen but I was soon introduced to tampons from a more experienced girl.

Your husband is a pillock.

The day he leaks blood through his trousers at work and suffers stomach cramps on top of that is the day he gets a say in what his daughter should do during her periods.

Edited to correct aurocorrect.

Have you never had a bad case of the shits on your first day or two?

Millions of women do, and it seriously affects their work and ability to focus in school.

You are surely well aware of the reason you are getting your arse handed to you on a plate here. It's not because of other people's misogyny.