Keeping DD off school due to period

[Girlymum26]

My DD is 10 years old and is in year 5 at school and just started her period for the first time on Sunday evening this week and she came and told me as soon as she noticed.

We have had plenty of chats about it and she’s had the lessons in school so knows all about it and why she had them and even about changing pads and she seemed to take it in her stride, although a little bit embarrassed.

I was at work on Monday and Tuesday this week and my husband made her go to school as he does the drop of these days and said it’s “just a period” and that she couldn’t stay off school for it. I had no say in it as start work at 6am.

She’s leaked both Monday and Tuesday and she said she’s really sore where her pads have been rubbing her skin and leaking and her tummy hurts so I’ve kept her off today as it’s my day off.

Ive given her some calpol, some sudocreme for her sore rash and ordered some of the lil-lets teen pads which are more narrow so shouldn’t rub anymore and got some period pants too to protect against any leaks. We are just having a quiet girly day to help her get to grips with it all but I’ve explained she will need to go to school tomorrow and Friday.

I’ve called school and explained why she wasn’t in and they were really sympathetic and her teacher called me back and has said she can go to toilet during lessons if she wants to change her pad as it was turns out she was too embarrassed to change it when anyone else was in the bathroom at the same time and that is she’s going to struggle with PE this week they won’t make her do it.

Husband is not happy I’ve kept her off and said I’m making a rod for my own back even though I’ve explained it’s just for today, to help her out a bit.

AIBU to have kept her off do you think?

Aww bless her heart ❤️ I would have done exactly the same as you. You don't know how her first period will be, with regards to flow or pain. Your daughter is only 10 and still at Junior school, so it's a lot for her to process, especially as she's probably one of the first to start her periods.

Staying off school one day now, doesn't equate to her spending days off school in the future due to her periods. Unfortunately, your husband's attitude shows exactly what he knows of such issues...bugger all!! Perhaps, he should leave it to you, considering you're female and have been dealing with periods, pain and pads for a few decades!!!

I'm glad your daughter's teacher has been supportive (in fairness the majority would be) and hopefully will reassure your daughter.

Of course it's kind to let her have the day off. it's a massive thing to happen. I'd only say that she can't expect to stay off every month for a few days, just so she doesn't expect that.

Absolutely.
I signed my daughter out many a day when she wasn't well.

Oh bless her, Yr 5 is really young, one day off to get her sorted out isn't going to harm anybody!

She is a young child going through a major change in her body. You husband's lack of compassion is disappointing to say the least. He can rest assured that she will know to avoid him when next she needs support from a parent.

Poor girl, so young. Keep her off.

Your husband needs to have some compassion for his young daughter. What a bastard, I’d tell him to fuck off!

Of course YANBU. She's 10! This is a big deal for her.

Absolutely not unreasonable to keep her off, just make sure she knows it isn’t a free pass to a few days off every month. It’s such a massive life adjustment for her and so overwhelming. Lots of cuddles, reassurance and hot chocolate. What a lovely mummy you are x

Husband gets to have an opinion when he starts his periods.

Your husband is being a dick. I'm hoping he is just thoughtless and not a complete misogynist.

I would absolutely do the same with my DD and will do when the timne comes (its nearly time so will be soon).

Its a shame we cant rent those period pain machines and put them on husbands at full pelt so they have some understanding of what we put up with.

No Uterus, No Opinion. You did the right thing and your daughter will be forever grateful to you.

Someone else has probably quoted Rachel on Friends already, but "No uterus - no opinion!"

Husband is a dick, I bet he’d have the day off work if he bled from his penis every month. You did the right thing letting her have the day off.

Agree with dh. You do not go off sick for periods, what happens next month and thereafter?! Many girls start early and sanitary protection is a damn sight better nowadays.

You need to minimise it not make it a drama. Paracetamol before school and plenty of spare pads.

🙄

🙄

Geezus. What a guy.
I believe the phrase "no uterus no opinion" is useful here!

She is so very young! Bless her girls seem to be starting much earlier in the last decade I thanked the gods I was 15 lol and I hope my daughters are the same

This!

Awww, that's really mean of your DH.
I'm really happy you kept her off today.
I feel sorry for her that she was made to go in on Monday & Tuesday, having to deal with her first ever bleed, the management of it, the emotional impact of it, having a sore tummy, fluctuating hormones, whilst trying to deal with being at school when she's bleeding for the first time.
What a miserable, mean, hard and unsympathetic DF she's got. Probably didn't want his female child's needs to impact on his day.

My DD also started in Primary school. Changing pads was also complicated because they don’t take their school bags out at break or lunchtime so she didn’t have the new pads on her at those times.

What worked for her was wearing ModiBodi period pants with an additional pad first thing in the morning. She would then dispose of the pad at either break or lunchtime and rely on the pants for the rest of the day.

Echo this, they’re great. DD has these for heavier days. She wears them with a pad first thing, then removes the pad at lunch, absolute game changer!

Please don't imply to her that she probably won't have regular periods initially or that period pants will definitely be suitable for all day use.

It might be the case, but my periods were regular and heavy from day dot and it was a huge disappointment that they came every month after being told I probably wouldn't be regular at first!

I am a fairly robust get-on-with things type of person. But if I encountered you in a school setting, I would hope you weren't anywhere near my dd.

You are the equivalent of the midwife who leaves a birthing mother in unnecesary pain and ignores her pleas.

'wussing out' when we are talking about a 10 year olds first period. Shame on your attitude. Stay away from any girls and women who rely on your care.

Yep. No uterus, or had one but dont anymore, then no opinion.

Ignore any comments that youre teaching her its an illness too. Most 10 year olds can understand why something might be a one off event.

What's her attendance like otherwise?