Cash gift from parent - sharing with spouse

[Dexysmidnightstroller]

For various reasons I’m currently the main breadwinner and paying all bills. We do ok, fortunate to have paid off the mortgage, and balance having nice but not extravagant holidays with saving for retirement.

We recently went on an overseas holiday mainly to visit an elderly relative of mine. We did lots of other things too but that was the main reason for the venue and we ensured we spent a lot of time with her. At the end, without asking and as a complete surprise, she insisted on a really generous gift of ££ as she wanted to pay for our trip. We absolutely never expected or asked, but accepted the gift (she is comfortably off and is known for generous help to my siblings as well).

As I’d already budgeted and paid for the holiday I put the gift into savings/investment. DH has whinged a bit, saying it was a gift to “us” with the implication that he should take half and do what he wants with it. AIBU to point out that I paid for the holiday and my relative was theoretically reimbursing it, so if I decide it should go into savings that is up to me? (And by the way be grateful for the free trip and for our future financial stability?)

IANBU = I was within rights to decide what to do with the gift
IABU = he was entitled to his half of the windfall

It’s none of my business. I’m not the one judging other people.

Toy could have used that logic on my post.
We don't all think the same, which shouldn't come as a surprise.

That logic doesn’t work because you are judging other people.

Imagine a world where we all thought the same, never going to happen.

So take my judgement as you please.

YANBU. My logic is (numbers for examples only)

You paid 10k for holiday. On your own.
Relative gives you 10k.
If you hand over half of that to your husband, then:

You have spent 10k and received 5k = you’re still 5k out of pocket
He has spent 0k and received 5k = he’s 5k better off

It’s hard to see how he could think that was fair, unless his argument is that you’d have spent the 10k on the holiday anyway so the gift is a windfall - but frankly I think that would be very, very cheeky.

You keep telling yourself that in your little fluffy world.