Late 40s / Early 50s - Is This What You Expected?

[Dreamsofanidiotmaybenot]

If you are between your late forties and early fifties, where do you feel you are in life right now?
Is this what you expected when you were younger, or completely different?
Do you feel young and full of energy, or more tired than you thought you would be at this stage?
Do you have friends who have already retired in their fifties? How are they experiencing this period?
Genuinely curious to hear real experiences.

You are being unreasonable, @Dreamsofanidiotmaybenot

Could you perhaps share first what you feel?

It might encourage others to feel reciprocal instead of feeling like a participant in article farming.

@Dreamsofanidiotmaybenot Depends how much rest I've had. You?

I didn’t expect this much insomnia or hormonal imbalance at this stage of life.

Sometimes it makes me feel a bit low when I realise that, even if I’m lucky, I may only have a couple of decades ahead and I really hope they are good ones. Lately it just feels like life is moving fast.

I’d love to feel more financially secure and to live in a world with fewer conflicts when I watch the news.

Terrible insomnia and hormonal ups and downs.

A bigger hormonal imbalance than I thought it would be tbh...

Huumm
I wasn't really expecting anything at this stage
I've recently lost 10 stone plus so I'm navigating fashion and finding my vibe ,which is probably to young a look for me ..but anyway.
Menopause has thrown me a bit ,I think it's caused bad anxiety in me .
Struggling with that a fair bit ..I also got diagnosed with autism recently,I'm 53 .
I don't think my best years are behind me
I think they have yet to come .
I'm going to carry on loosing weight untill I'm slim and I'm planning on a new haircut..
Life is what we make it at any age

I’m really disappointed with life. I haven’t managed to enjoy myself. I don’t like the point I’ve reached and I don’t see a way out. I guess my optimism and consequent bad decisions have caught up with me.

I had ds when I was 45 so at 50, I was working full time for a large telecoms Co, I had a 5yo in primary, my relationship with ex had failed but I'd bought a house and was well into my stride being a single working mum, renovating our home and besotted with ds. I took up running at 48 so I was as fit as I'd ever been.
Financially, my pension was adequate, my salary was reasonable despite no longer doing an international job, and I was happy. Life was full. Obviously no plans for retirement, or any desire to.
I'm 62 now and just considering retirement this year. 🙂

I bought I had 30 years ahead of me. Then got given a life changing diagnosis which severely cuts my life span. I doubt I’ll see my children have children. It’s v unlikely in fact.

And of course menopause hits harder than expected.
Going through divorce was hard.

I didn’t expect to feel the way I do about work. I’ve slowly lost my confidence and secretly feel useless at my job. Even if there was an alternative, I couldn’t begin to imagine how to position myself in a job interview.

I’ve always worked hard. I want to work. I don’t want to retire. I’m 52.

i imagine the insomnia doesn’t help.

I changed careers and started a business in my late 40s and early 50s. Best things I’ve ever done (besides having my kids). I think your 50s and beyond can be wonderful.

I feel physically awful. I am 48yo. Full throes of perimenopause symptoms - weight gain, brain fog, tired all the time, no motivation, erratic periods (anywhere from 13-46 day cycles but usually every 2-3weeks and very heavy). Full on insomnial, restless legs, achy joints, hot flashes. My migraines have increased in frequency. I have had tests and there’s nothing wrong with me. Thyroid seems ok.

The past 6 months have been really hard so I have started weight loss meds, CBD oil and other supplements. Melatonin etc. The CBD oil has done wonders for my sleep quality.

I am very fortunate that I don’t work / retired. So on days I feel like I am running on fumes I don’t have a pressing need to push on. If I was working I feel like I’d be an utter mess 😆

Emotionally I feel quite stable (I am a pretty stoic, introverted person) and have always been that way.

My biggest piece of advice is to start HRT when you get these symptoms. I didn't sleep for 5 years, trying to solve my perimenopause symptoms with natural remedies. I literally lost these years to rage, anxiety, panic attacks when there was no need.

Oestrogen depletion causes so many symptoms you wouldn't realise because we have oestrogen receptors all over our bodies.

do oyu mind me asking how/why you are retired and not working? I had a horrific catastrophic psychotic breakdown nine years ago and havent been able to work and I was about ot go into my dream career as an academic. I wonder if I just need to accept I wont work again in the high pressure jibs I used to have

Quite different in many many ways. In some ways, I am a beyond. Living the dream, and in others, ‘‘tis all a crock of sh*t.

Life from late 40’s has been awful. Menopause hit me like a ton of bricks. I had to fight for HRT due to primary BC many years ago. Then more cancer came my way and that was it. Secondary BC meant I had to stop my HRT and I’m dealing with all the horrid symptoms again. I also have a new cancer which now means permanent chemo until I die. I’ve had to take ill health retirement and feel life as I knew it, is over. My poor kids are only 18 and 21 and they are doing so well. DD is a uni and DS working hard at his job and just passed his driving test. I feel a failure. 😞

What CBD oil do use to help you sleep if you don’t mind me asking?

Empty nest now, sacked from career last year. A friend moved abroad. Objectively comfortable but not "winning".

Fighting against the idea that it's all downhill now and I've had my turn..

@Dontfencemein I feel the exact same way regarding work.

I used to love my job and was very good at it now I am struggling to remember basic things and try get through the day without making any major fuck ups.
My confidence is at an all time low and the thoughts of starting a new job and having to learn the ropes is absolutely terrifying.

I never realised menopause could have such a huge impact.

I thought menopause would be great - finally no more periods. But it’s just another kind of shit. I hate it.

Oh yes, grinds my gears to see women torturing themselves with herbal 'remedies', another thing to feel inadequate about when they don't cure the symptoms.

Life is ok, certainly when I compare myself to many women in other countries we have it pretty good here. But if I'd known how my things would actually be, would I have chosen to go on past my thirties? Hmn, possibly not.

I’m 47 and exhausted. I’m awake at 3am and I don’t get back to sleep as ASD DS gets up at 4.30. I’m a teacher and I find it’s takes me much longer to mark and teach as my brain doesn’t seem to work as quickly, I wonder how long I can keep doing this job tbh which is a shame as I e been teaching for 26 years. I’m on HRT and jog 10k 4 times a week to try and keep active but it’s an effort and it never used to be. I’m lucky that I have a wonderful DH, fab kids and always go on holiday every break from school!

I feel more content in myself than I have ever done. It is a weird phenomenon but I used to be attractive and sexual and I foolishly judged myself through the eyes of men. Losing my physical attractiveness to men has helped my self esteem so much as I now feel my worth and value based on who I am, what I believe and how I treat others. I wish I had had this knowledge earlier. I am also on weightloss injections and they help me mentally. The weight maintenance is a wonderful bonus but I used to have an obsessive personality and that has calmed down now. I gave up alcohol mid 40s and am also on HRT. I took up a sporting hobby during covid. All these things have been so life changing. Many aspects of life are the same as they were for me 30 years ago - similar job, live in a similar place - but my life feels better (aside from world events). My DD also struggled with her mental health for around 3 years which was very difficult but is slowly starting to heal and that is the best feeling in the world.

I’m on the lower age that you’re asking about (45), but thought I’d reply. Mentally, I feel great, happiest I’ve probably been my whole life, or certainly as an adult. Something clicked when I hit 40, and I realised life was too short to be worrying about things out of my control.
Physically, feel like I’m falling apart a bit, starting to get diagnoses that I’ve never had before, like issues with blood pressure etc.

In life, we’re at a great point. Had children in early 20’s so they’re flying or about to fly the nest, so me and DH are enjoying nice things like going away and starting to talk about our future and what we want it to look like

I'm 51. I feel older than I expected to feel at this age - tired, slower, aches and pains. However my overall health is good (touch wood!) and I'm active and reasonably fit so it could be worse. I'm overweight but I've been overweight since my 20s so not a new thing. Hormonally not too bad - the odd hot flush and a bit of brain fog. Not on HRT. Career wise I'm still going strong - enjoying my job, taking on new roles, not thinking about retirement. I don't know anyone my age who has retired. My kids are late teens and very early 20s, and I like this stage but feel sad at the thought of an empty nest (although young people are definitely living at home for longer than they used to so it may not happen for a while!). Looking forward to grandchildren at some point in the future. Happily married and financially comfortable.