MIL wants engagement ring back after husband went no contact

[Nic1210]

My husband decided to go no contact with his Mother around 4 years ago (I have posted previously about this - she is a piece of work).
We have only seen her once since at my Sister In Laws wedding and it was very awkward and brief. It was also the first time she met her Granddaughter and she was looking down at her at any opportunity and made no effort to take accountability for her previous actions.

Out of the blue, we woke up yesterday morning to a letter sent via iCloud at midnight the previous night, a badly typed out message explaining she respects our decision but it is hurtful for me to wear the engagement ring she freely gave to my husband when he made the decision to propose nine years ago. My husband wanted to save money for a ring to pirchase but she was insistent that he take a ring. The ring was a made for her as an eternity ring from an Amsterdam diamond bought for her 40th birthday from her ex husband (Hubby's Dad). When she gave it to my husband she said she no longer wanted it and was happy for my Husband to give to me.

This is the second time she has asked for it back, the first time she demanded it back after a row (one-sided), when she called me a bitch and other expletives for leaving the room when she was verbally abusing my husband.
I feel this is last thing my MIL believes she has control over.
AIBU to keep hold of my engagement ring? The ring is legally mine as it is deemed a gift, it is not a family heirloom and I have got more joy from it then she ever did or would do in the future. I honestly think she anticipated us to break up when she gave it away, myself and husband are happily married with our fabulous daughter, she would have continued to make my husbands life (a potentially our daughters life) miserable if we remained in contact.

Why on earth would you want to keep it?

Just give it back, and choose something together with your husband.

Since you've gone no contact, it seems reasonable that she'd want it returned.

She may believe this is the last thing she has control of, but she doesn’t. It’s yours.

I would give it back, it’s just a ring. I wouldn’t want any reason for her to contact me. Currently she thinks you care, show her you don’t.

Just give it back and be done with it.

I would get an exact replica made and then return her ring. So she gets her ring back but you get the ring design you have always loved and it will look the same as when you put it on your finger the first time. As it looks the same there is no story to tell anyone because no one would notice. You could also use Moisannite which is lab made and looks exactly like a diamond. Go on youtube and see a natural diamond, lab diamond and moissanite side by side. It is also a fraction of the cost.

When she sees it in future on your hand she won't feel like she "has won" anything.

Get a cheap lab diamond replica made and give her that 🤫 😂

Pawn it and give her the receipt and say she has 28 days to buy it back.

I’d give it back OP. Send it back wordlessly and the she has absolutely nothing over you anymore. Go and find a beautiful new ring that has no baggage whatsoever!

😂😂😂, this.

Sell it and get a new one.

Send her the receipt from the sale, saying it was gifted to you but since it reminds you of her you felt happier just getting rid and starting fresh.

That way she no longer has hold over you and you no longer have to look at it and think of her.

I would probably do this, i couldn't enjoy or love a ring knowing it came with conditons and spite.

It's legally yours so you wouldn't be unreasonable to keep it.

I would give it back though, purely to cut that final thread between you. Once she has the ring back, she has nothing else to hold over you - you'll be free.

This is next level!

I would give it back too. Make sure you get a receipt though. Registered post I think is the best way you’ll have to pay insurance too, but I would consider it worth it.

I would return it.
But I'd take it to a jeweller first and get them to engrave 'petty bitch' on the inside of the band.

I'd imagine she'd sell it or just toss it in with her materialistic ring collection she has got going on.

I actually think the suggestion of pawning it and sending the receipt so she could buy it back was better.

Oooo this is good.

Tell her you have sold it

and then either keep it or sell it/ melt it down to create a new ring.

it’s your ring.

giving it back won’t stop her madness.

Tell her you have sold it

and then either keep it or sell it/ melt it down to create a new ring.

it’s your ring.

giving it back won’t stop her madness.

Yes this. I would maybe send it by DPD or parcel force so it can be tracked.

🤭

No way would i give it back

Wise advice. I know you want no contact OP, but in this case I think it's vital.

I'd not want her ring.

I can't quite understand your husband accepting the ring anyway in the first place.