To tell my manager I won’t share a room with colleague again?

[Worktripissue]

Some background here - my role requires regular travel around the UK as the company has various sites. For about 3 nights each month I stay away in a specific location; up until 2024 I always had my own room, a change was then made for financial reasons that I’d need to share with the colleague travelling with me who does the same role.

No issues at all, we got along and she was respectful and we’ve remained friends post her leaving the company recently.

I travelled with her replacement last week, and we shared a room as per process.

Firstly, she jokingly (I thought) said before we left that she is a snorer. She’s not wrong, even with ear plugs I was struggling to get an uninterrupted nights sleep. By her own admission she is a larger lady and she says even her own husband gets on at her. She honestly snored like a man.

Next issue - we have a £30 per night meal allowance. On one of the nights, I visited my cousin who lives in the area and she cooked for me, so I had no reason to use my allowance.

My colleague asked me if she could use it when I got back to the room (about 9pm at this point). Now she’d already had dinner and the restaurant was closed. She said she only wanted it for a soft drink so I said no problem. She then came back up to the room and said they were still doing room service. 20 minutes later the door goes and hot food arrives which she proceeds to eat on her bed, and the smell lingered all night.

A couple of other minor annoyances in terms of time spent in the bathroom and loud phone calls with her husband which she could have taken outside the room/in reception.

She is polite in general, but that was our first trip and I don’t think I could handle monthly stays with her.

AIBU to tell my manager I won’t share with her again?

Also, allowing someone else to use your dinner allowance is fraud. You could get in trouble for that. What on earth were you thinking!!!

There is no circumstance in which I would share a room with a colleague!! I don't really even like sharing with my DH 😂

It's great everyone feels so secure in their jobs

You should definitely ask on the grounds of lack of sleep, as especially if you have to drive, that’s a safety issue.
I wouldn’t mention the food though.

Never in my life have I or would I share a room with a colleague.
YABU (a bit) for agreeing to share in the first place.
Your employers were taking the Mickey to ask in the first place.

So you’re saying only overweight people snore?

I know people who don’t have any weight issues who snore!!

You definitely need to tell your employer you’re not prepared to share a room anymore!

No way would I share with anyone from work and that includes those I count as friends.

You can’t share a room as you are unable to sleep. End of.

I shared a room a few times in my early 20s as a grad as our team was trying to stretch our “away day” budgets. But never ever would I be expected to share a room if on offical firm business.

What would have happened if your new colleague had been a man?

Teachers are always expected to share rooms. I’ve stopped volunteering on trips for this reason.

The cost of a hotel room for an employee traveling for business is generally a tax-deductible expense for the company, provided the travel is solely for business purposes. The expense must be incurred "wholly and exclusively" for work, typically excluding personal leisure days. So in this instance the company is not saving money by asking employees to share - its just an illusion. I would be reminding them of that.

What should have happened;
Sally: gosh Karen I’m excited about the work trip. I do have to warm you though that I snore. Even hubby has a go at me about it as it does keep him awake
Karen: ah thanks for telling me Sally. I think you’re a lovely person but I do need my rest. Are you ok with us going to HR and insisting on separate rooms?
Sally: no absolutely not! That’s exactly why I told you!

what actually happened:
Sally: Gosh Karen I’m excited about the work trip. I do have to warn you though that I snore. Even hubby has a go at me about it as it does keep him awake.
karen: hahahaha (thinking: what a mad cow! Saying snores! Women can’t snore) hahaha Karen good one!
(during the trip)
Karen: (thinking) bloody hell she does snore! I thought she was joking as surely women can’t snore. But Jesus she snores like a man. And she is fat. Whaaat?? Room service? No wonder she’s fat. Phoning her husband AGAIN? Does she have to? She could have warned me she snores. I can’t sleep. She snores. The room stinks. She’s phoning her husband…. This is awful. I need my privacy’s why did she not spell it out that she snores??

You are Entitled to accommodation that reflects your home circumstances. But you are NOT a slave. Therefore you should/be entitled to luxury above your means. You are essentially working 24 hours per day. So your remuneration should be assessed as such plus accommodation in excess of your home circumstances. No "ifs" and "buts". Full on recompense as it is for their enhancement, not for yours.

It really is a basic safeguarding issue that you have the privacy of your own hotel room.
Of course I'm not suggesting for a minute that this could be an issue, but I am genuinely stunned at any company thinking they get to enforce this.

I would be emailing and saying I now realise that this arrangement no longer suits me.
I need the privacy of my own room.

Call ACAS to double check but I do not even think this is legally enforceable?

Do it by email, keep it vague, but very firm.
You will not be doing it again.
Any blowback could be deemed grounds for constructive dismissal.

Definitely give ACAS a call.

Find a better workplace!

Like fuck would I ever share a room with a colleague, and I've never been asked.

I work for a charity and they certainly would never expect us to share a room with a colleague (we do travel to London twice a year and all get individual rooms) I would absolutely refuse to share a room and they wouldn’t dream of asking us to!

You are both adults so should have your own rooms.If they cant pay for 2 then they shouldnt expect you to stay over.They would not expect you to share with a male colleague, so why should they expect you to share with a woman, just to save the company a few quid.Maybe they could downgrade the hotel a star, and still get separate rooms.Or get separate rooms and save costs on food allowance? Unless its a 4 or 5 star hotel £30 seems a lot for just evening meal.Unless thats breakfast as well?

I'd go to my manager, or call them, "Bob, Sally was snoring all night and I couldn't sleep, so I'm going back to sleep this morning now Sally has gone to work" if they say you can't do that say "well how am I meant to function on no sleep".

I would wait until you are approached to go away again then ask if you can share - if that is all that is offered with someone else . I would politely say we are so different with a knowing smile. I would want to protect my job and not be known for being awkward which is what can easily happen . Its not what you say but how you say it. I would say the minimum apart from it made you feel uncomfortable but stress you wouldn't want to go into detail .

No way would I put up with sharing a room for work. Not. Happening. However you gave it a shot and your new colleague makes proper sleep impossible - I would 100% refuse to do it again. Can’t believe how cheeky your company is expecting this in the first place.

It's nothing to do with weight here. My ex snores and drove me up the wall. He wasn't over weight.

it's unreasonable that your company expect you to share with anyone. I used to travel a lot for work and single rooms was just standard.

Tell your manager you and new colleague are incompatible and will not be able to room share in the future, Be firm and professional, there is no need to embarrass your colleague (or yourself) by mentioning why. If your manager pushes it take it to HR.

Ask if you can book an airbnb with 2 bedrooms or 1 bedroom ND a sofe bed in the lounge. My friends and I do this all the time. It's def cheaper than 2 rooms at a hotel, so that might be better. And best still, no room service.

The snoring may be sleep apnoea. Weight loss doesn't often fix it (though it's touted in our fat phobic society as a fix). The things that work are CPAP machines and sometimes surgery (adenoids etc) and sometimes mouth guard type devices that hold the jaws in particular positions.

Do you have a relationship with her that would allow you to suggest she visits her GP to ask for a referral for a sleep study?

The poor snoring person needs her own room - either to use a CPAP machine without disturbing anyone else or because her snoring is just snoring that shouldn't be distracting someone else's rest.

You could consider asking the company to book an Airbnb style place with separate bedrooms if that works out cheaper than two hotel rooms.