To tell my manager I won’t share a room with colleague again?

[Worktripissue]

Some background here - my role requires regular travel around the UK as the company has various sites. For about 3 nights each month I stay away in a specific location; up until 2024 I always had my own room, a change was then made for financial reasons that I’d need to share with the colleague travelling with me who does the same role.

No issues at all, we got along and she was respectful and we’ve remained friends post her leaving the company recently.

I travelled with her replacement last week, and we shared a room as per process.

Firstly, she jokingly (I thought) said before we left that she is a snorer. She’s not wrong, even with ear plugs I was struggling to get an uninterrupted nights sleep. By her own admission she is a larger lady and she says even her own husband gets on at her. She honestly snored like a man.

Next issue - we have a £30 per night meal allowance. On one of the nights, I visited my cousin who lives in the area and she cooked for me, so I had no reason to use my allowance.

My colleague asked me if she could use it when I got back to the room (about 9pm at this point). Now she’d already had dinner and the restaurant was closed. She said she only wanted it for a soft drink so I said no problem. She then came back up to the room and said they were still doing room service. 20 minutes later the door goes and hot food arrives which she proceeds to eat on her bed, and the smell lingered all night.

A couple of other minor annoyances in terms of time spent in the bathroom and loud phone calls with her husband which she could have taken outside the room/in reception.

She is polite in general, but that was our first trip and I don’t think I could handle monthly stays with her.

AIBU to tell my manager I won’t share with her again?

A couple of years ago DH and I were checking into a hotel behind a a guy. He was there for work and was booked to share a room with someone from the same company but who he'd never met before.
DH and I looked at each other like 😳
Not a chance....

OP just say you felt very uncomfortable and although you happened to be good friends (in and outside work) with your previous colleague and therefore out of good will you agreed to share, there is now no colleague you are close enough to.
Everyone else on this thread of course it isnt a health and safety or safeguarding risk to ask two known colleagues of the same sex to share a room! Uncomfortable yes. Professional - definitely questionable. Safeguarding issue? Ridiculous suggestion.
And to add to the other teachers on this thread, you are all so up in arms at the thought of workplaces asking colleagues to roomshare, so I really hope you don't also expect residential trips for your children and if you do, that you expect and are happy to pay extra for staff to get their own rooms because I assure you we don't (we also don't get overtime, downtime, personal time, a full night's sleep or privacy by the way despite it being our job).

Was going to say this about sleep apnoea, it's a recognised sign and weight loss rarely fixes it.

My CPAP machine doesn't disturb DH, they are fairly quiet, just a bit scary when you see someone in a mask, I've even scared myself sometimes

And she can get a cpap machine

I travelled for business for 30 years Op. Probably averaging 100 nights per year. I have never once shared a room. My rule in travel was always, "the same as home or better".
I don't share at home, so I wouldn't for business.

YABVU for ever agreeing to this arrangement.

You are too nice for your own good. Stop being a doormat.

I never share a room nowadays, other than with my partner or best friend. I'd refuse and if the employer argued, I'd cite medical reasons. I often seem to succumb to food poisoning when I'm away from home and, quite honestly, there are times when I'd refuse to share a bathroom with me!

Yes, it costs the company money. Two rooms are £200 in the travel & entertainment line of the operating expenses, vs £100 for one room.

This is a reasonable work expense and therefore it reduces the profits on which the company pays tax by £100, but it’s not free to the company.

ETA op should still have her own room though

Fair enough that you don't want to share a room with this colleague. You should tell your employer that and ask for a single room, not go on about her bathroom and eating habits to a load of strangers on the internet, then suggest that if they object, it is because they have equally revolting habits!
But perhaps this is a wind-up and not serious?

I also travel with work and absolutely no way would i share!! Your company are being completely unreasonable to ask!! No f**king way!!

When my company asked that we share hotel rooms, I pointed out that, as they would never ask me to share with my former colleague - who was male -, they were being discriminatory by suggesting teo females share. They never suggested it again.

In this instance, the OP has been fine to share with a colleague for years, and she has not yet said she’s no longer fine. So the company aren’t completely fucking unreasonable yet - they will be if they say no once she has asked, though

This. 💯

Wow you can't help just digging a bigger hole can you. I was a "larger girl" as you put it and snored terribly. I didn't actually "choose to do nothing ". Obesity is challenging. With the help of marvellous mounjaro i have lost a lot of weight ...still snore though. You don't have to share with her. You don't have to like her. You also don't need to be a bitch about it.

It's not about needing to pay for separate rooms though, is it? It's about the OP's complaining about being around somebody overweight.

Not being unreasonable at all.

There are issues of privacy and personal well-being here for both of you. And as others have said, if your colleague had been male it wouldn't have been an option.

I'd check my employment contract. Hopefully there is something on travel and accommodation standards.

But failing that I'd only mention the snoring concern to my manager. Emphasise you were unable to sleep at all. It was very, very lucky the meetings etc. went so well because you were completely exhausted. You had to negotiate/present on zero sleep. It isn't something you would be willing to risk again, because of the potential impact on your work/the company.

Everything else the manager might suggest resolving with agreed standards of behaviour in advance. And he/she might weaselly encourage you to compromise/try again with room-sharing. Snoring cannot be negotiated or reasoned into silence.

Then make it clear that you expect to have your own room for any future trips.

tell work you need your own room. Bit late now but I’d have phoned manager in middle of the night and filled their voicemail up with the snoring!

I've lost sympathy with you for the fat shaming, and assumption that your colleague is chosing not to lose weight.

However, when approaching your employer, I suggest you make it all about the business case - you were unable to sleep due to your colleague's snoring, and as you know she can't help it, it doesn't make business sense for you to continue to share a room as you will not be on top form for work when you are on these trips. Just make it a breezy Of course this will be changed, because it makes much more sense for the business. Don't mention your colleague's personal habits at all.

What, put yourself out of pocket, for work?

I could never do a job that involved sharing a room with a colleague. How long have you been at the company OP? I’d be kicking up an almighty fuss about having to do this when you previously had your own room.

When the OP's problem is that she's sharing with somebody overweight who eats, goes to the toilet and has a husband to speak to on the phone, not that sharing has been a problem before, yes.

I wonder if they make men share. Do you know, OP?

The weight and eating was relevant. The lady snores due to her weight and she eats hot food in the room which made the room smelly.

No totally reasonable not to share! You aren't college students on a jolly for night life, you're adults with serious lives...