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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To tell my manager I won’t share a room with colleague again?

334 replies

Worktripissue · 01/03/2026 15:55

Some background here - my role requires regular travel around the UK as the company has various sites. For about 3 nights each month I stay away in a specific location; up until 2024 I always had my own room, a change was then made for financial reasons that I’d need to share with the colleague travelling with me who does the same role.

No issues at all, we got along and she was respectful and we’ve remained friends post her leaving the company recently.

I travelled with her replacement last week, and we shared a room as per process.

Firstly, she jokingly (I thought) said before we left that she is a snorer. She’s not wrong, even with ear plugs I was struggling to get an uninterrupted nights sleep. By her own admission she is a larger lady and she says even her own husband gets on at her. She honestly snored like a man.

Next issue - we have a £30 per night meal allowance. On one of the nights, I visited my cousin who lives in the area and she cooked for me, so I had no reason to use my allowance.

My colleague asked me if she could use it when I got back to the room (about 9pm at this point). Now she’d already had dinner and the restaurant was closed. She said she only wanted it for a soft drink so I said no problem. She then came back up to the room and said they were still doing room service. 20 minutes later the door goes and hot food arrives which she proceeds to eat on her bed, and the smell lingered all night.

A couple of other minor annoyances in terms of time spent in the bathroom and loud phone calls with her husband which she could have taken outside the room/in reception.

She is polite in general, but that was our first trip and I don’t think I could handle monthly stays with her.

AIBU to tell my manager I won’t share with her again?

OP posts:
SheilaFentiman · 03/03/2026 16:35

RawBloomers · 03/03/2026 16:29

It's not unreasonable to do pretty much whatever you like in a hotel room you have to yourself, But given she's sharing with a person for whom it was a disturbance, she should probably have eaten in one of the hotel's common spaces.

Of course this is another reason why a company expecting people to share is not appropriate. It's not just OP whose boundaries and comfort was walked all over.

Depending on the hotel, there may not have been much in the way of a common space to eat in after the restaurant closed, and it’s not really great to be wandering the corridors with your dinner tray trying to find an armchair to perch on.

We are in violent agreement about solving the problem by having separate rooms though 😀

Jumpingthruhoops · 03/03/2026 18:16

HurlyWhurly · 01/03/2026 16:11

If the company had recruited a man to the other role they would be paying for a separate room so the budget must hv the ability to be flex'd...

This! 👏👏

MsDitsy · 03/03/2026 18:21

Frottin · 02/03/2026 20:30

What you meant to say there was your DH's weight seems to be the cause of HIS snoring.

You have zero idea about any other person so it's best not to comment, then you won't look ignorant.

Well I'm going to comment as being overweight is a common cause of snoring and apnea as advised by my consultant. You do know you don't have to comment to tell me not to comment as you dont know that its not the cause either? We all make assumptions and guesses whenever we respond to a post, including you!

Frottin · 03/03/2026 20:52

MsDitsy · 03/03/2026 18:21

Well I'm going to comment as being overweight is a common cause of snoring and apnea as advised by my consultant. You do know you don't have to comment to tell me not to comment as you dont know that its not the cause either? We all make assumptions and guesses whenever we respond to a post, including you!

Common cause, sure. Absolutely the reason for everyone? No.

Make all the assumptions you want but stating them as fact is idiotic.

manymaybe · 07/03/2026 18:08

Do your managers share rooms too? And the directors? Your time off while travelling is as good as theirs. You are entitled to some privacy and rest.

Lalalalalalalalalalaoohoohwee · 07/03/2026 19:06

Totally inappropriate for work to ask you to share a room with a colleague. Not sure what your colleagues weight has to do with anything though.

MummyWillow1 · 07/03/2026 19:39

I can’t believe you ever agreed to share TBH. It is not appropriate for work colleagues to share a private space. What if your new colleague had been male instead of female? Would they still have expected you to share?

LubyLooTwo · 07/03/2026 23:01

Yes you should refuse to share with her. It is unreasonable for your employer to expect yih to share anyway.

Magrathea56 · 08/03/2026 10:57

I didn't share a room with my oldest friend when we went away last year, no way would I share with someone I barely knew!!

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