To tell my manager I won’t share a room with colleague again?

[Worktripissue]

Some background here - my role requires regular travel around the UK as the company has various sites. For about 3 nights each month I stay away in a specific location; up until 2024 I always had my own room, a change was then made for financial reasons that I’d need to share with the colleague travelling with me who does the same role.

No issues at all, we got along and she was respectful and we’ve remained friends post her leaving the company recently.

I travelled with her replacement last week, and we shared a room as per process.

Firstly, she jokingly (I thought) said before we left that she is a snorer. She’s not wrong, even with ear plugs I was struggling to get an uninterrupted nights sleep. By her own admission she is a larger lady and she says even her own husband gets on at her. She honestly snored like a man.

Next issue - we have a £30 per night meal allowance. On one of the nights, I visited my cousin who lives in the area and she cooked for me, so I had no reason to use my allowance.

My colleague asked me if she could use it when I got back to the room (about 9pm at this point). Now she’d already had dinner and the restaurant was closed. She said she only wanted it for a soft drink so I said no problem. She then came back up to the room and said they were still doing room service. 20 minutes later the door goes and hot food arrives which she proceeds to eat on her bed, and the smell lingered all night.

A couple of other minor annoyances in terms of time spent in the bathroom and loud phone calls with her husband which she could have taken outside the room/in reception.

She is polite in general, but that was our first trip and I don’t think I could handle monthly stays with her.

AIBU to tell my manager I won’t share with her again?

Why is this on op to resolve?

As pp said if the other employee was male they wouldn't be expected to share. Absolutely time to put your foot down about this op.

No, but you risk problems with the expenses- you shouldn't have let her have your £30. I would not own up to that.

Not at all but that meal allowance thing could get you both into trouble.

I don’t even share a room with my best friend if we go away. Cannot believe that people are expected to share with a colleague!

Nonsense, I think I’ve touched a nerve because some on here are no doubt in a similar predicament. There’s no need to take it out on me.

Haven't RTFT, but my immediate thought was how often are men expected to share hotel rooms for work ?

Expecting colleagues to share rooms is crazy regardless of the issues mentioned.

That’s outrageous for her to pay the difference herself. There is noise from colleague keeping op awake! Company needs to pay for the rooms needed.

Hahaha! OK, my last bit of sympathy just evaporated! and I had quite a lot when I originally responded! No, I don't snore so no nerves touched here. Amazingly, you don't need to be affected by an issue yourself to want to stand up for others. Have at it with your employers, at this point I think you deserve each other!

It is highly inappropriate that you share a room with a colleague.

I would refuse to share at all.

Christ which fully grown adult would ever accept this :)

Can just about see it for a graduate induction course. Even that is pushing it.

I did initially vote that it is unreasonable for you to have to share with a colleague but, on further reflection, based on rereading your initial comments and your ad hominem attack on your colleague, for her own dignity in the workplace , she should not have to share with you.

You shouldn't be expected to share with anyone. It's completely inappropriate.

For me that would be a straight up NO.

It’s really not standard practice in the UK for employers to require staff to share hotel rooms when travelling for work. They can ask, but they can’t insist. Even if they’re trying to save money, it’s generally considered unprofessional and inappropriate.

Once the working day ends, you’re not being paid to be “at work”, so your employer has no right to impose a colleague on your private time even if you like them, everyone needs some "me" time. A hotel room is where you sleep, wash, dress, use the bathroom, decompress, and have personal space. That’s a basic dignity and privacy issue, not a perk.

Give me a few drinkies and I snore and I would feel uncomfortable inflicting that on others and I would try not to snore and I wouldn't get a good nights sleep either. You and your colleague should be able to sit in your room in privacy and do your own thing, be that talking to family, decompressing, stuffing your face or snoring loudly.

There are also health and safety considerations (proper rest, stress, wellbeing) and potential Equality Act implications if someone has anxiety, medical needs, or anything that makes sharing unsuitable.

Most UK employers provide single rooms or at least single occupancy as standard. Room‑sharing is seen as outdated and only ever happens if both people volunteer to do it. It shouldn’t be mandatory, and it shouldn’t be pressured. I think they can ask, but I doubt they can insist because its your private unpaid time to manage and not theirs.

I wouldn't throw your colleague under the bus, I think she would be as relieved as you, if you didn't have to. Just explain to your boss that you do not like sharing with colleagues and only accepted it before because you new the previous person well.

You are totally entitled to "off duty" time. If your emiployer makes it part of your employment, then you should be recompensed in total plus incidentals, including "time off in lieu". You are not a slave.

She can't change that immediately though can she? So therefore she can't do anything about it to make any difference in the short term.

I think it's unreasonable for your company to expect you to share anyway - if they want you to travel then they need to facilitate your own space.

I think you are being unreasonable to expect everyone should fit into your expectations of behaviour though. If you don't want to give her your allowance next time, then don't - that's in your control, but everything else is not yours to dictate.

No I absolutely hate this and I’ve seen it happen before in my workplace . I’d refuse to go if I had to share with a colleague I don’t care how nice they are . It’s such a violation of privacy and dignity expecting people to share . They would not expect a man and a woman to share ..

I would only share a room with DH and so unless you have a partner who works for your company and is staying in the hotel anyway then no YANBU.

I am stunned that an employer would put anyone at that risk level. There is no way I would agree to sharing a room with a random colleague. I would be raising this with HR if there is one and my line manager

She sounds a bit like a slob.

plenty of skinny people snore . This is irrelevant to the issue.

I think I’d actually prefer this to sharing with one person!
You could find a little anonymity in the crowd.

You just lost my respect with that comment. YABU To be so disrespectful and judgmental about someone and their health and what is and isn’t in their control.

Yanbu about sharing a room. But I have no time for people who are so judgmental towards others

I am stunned that an employer would put anyone at that risk level.

Weirdly I am not. Maybe it's my age ?

It's unacceptable, and I would tell them you will no longer be prepared to share a room with a colleague (any colleague). If there is any pushback over that you used to do it, then I'd say, that you were both close friends which is why you didn't mind, but as you've saved the company hundreds, if not thousands of pounds by doing so, you feel you have positively contributed to cost savings. Then reiterate that you are deeply uncomfortable sharing with colleagues.

Do not tell them about the dinner allowance. You should not have agreed to that, what you should have done, was get the food receipt from your friend and bill that, or half of it as you ate half.

As for the people laying into you about "fat shaming", I'm obese and snore, and I'm not offended in the slightest. I recognise that I am currently unhealthy, and I'm doing something about it. I find that most of the people shouting "fat shaming", aren't even fat themselves, they just want a reason to be outraged on someone else's behalf!

Be firm @Worktripissue and say no to your workplace over this. They would be highly unreasonable for them to make an issue out of it. It's your own personal unpaid time and expecting you to share it with anybody, sleeping next to each other and sharing an ensuite is inappropriate and unacceptable.

That. I'm at the low end of a normal BMI, and I snore*. It's not always about weight and it's certainly not anyone's fault.

*Which is why I refuse to share a room