To tell my manager I won’t share a room with colleague again?

[Worktripissue]

Some background here - my role requires regular travel around the UK as the company has various sites. For about 3 nights each month I stay away in a specific location; up until 2024 I always had my own room, a change was then made for financial reasons that I’d need to share with the colleague travelling with me who does the same role.

No issues at all, we got along and she was respectful and we’ve remained friends post her leaving the company recently.

I travelled with her replacement last week, and we shared a room as per process.

Firstly, she jokingly (I thought) said before we left that she is a snorer. She’s not wrong, even with ear plugs I was struggling to get an uninterrupted nights sleep. By her own admission she is a larger lady and she says even her own husband gets on at her. She honestly snored like a man.

Next issue - we have a £30 per night meal allowance. On one of the nights, I visited my cousin who lives in the area and she cooked for me, so I had no reason to use my allowance.

My colleague asked me if she could use it when I got back to the room (about 9pm at this point). Now she’d already had dinner and the restaurant was closed. She said she only wanted it for a soft drink so I said no problem. She then came back up to the room and said they were still doing room service. 20 minutes later the door goes and hot food arrives which she proceeds to eat on her bed, and the smell lingered all night.

A couple of other minor annoyances in terms of time spent in the bathroom and loud phone calls with her husband which she could have taken outside the room/in reception.

She is polite in general, but that was our first trip and I don’t think I could handle monthly stays with her.

AIBU to tell my manager I won’t share with her again?

Just tell them no and that you need your own privatre space of a night as you are an adult.

Why should she have to pay for it if it is a work trip?

Also, OP's employers should be ashamed - of themselves. I bet they don't ask male colleagues to share a room.

@nomas OP has said that they do, in her post of 01/03/2026 17:23

This!!!

Never in a million years would I share a room with anyone. I only share with my husband when we go away, but single big beds. But with a stranger no no no no no!!!!! A complete invasion of your privacy.

But this is not a you problem, this is their problem. You should not be taking on that responsibility.

This is not the OPs responsibility to do this. It is the companies problem not the OPs. Totally unacceptable to expect her to share. Would never happen in my world.

She should never have been put in this position in the first place. I would be moaning from the rooftops, actually I wouldn't as I would never have agreed in the first place.

Are you out of your mind - its the companies problem, not the OPs.

If you go in with 12 reasons people will argue you on the weakest point. Better to just stick to one strong point. Given that she did accept it in the first place, this seems to be the strongest.

I’d nip in bud now and email to day snoring meant you couldn’t function to full capacity and concerned h & s implications re driving tired.
I do think expecting you to share with a stranger is leaving company exposed to all sorts of risks.

There is absolutely no way you should have to share a room with a colleague. You need your own privacy. Definitely tell them either you have your own room or you don’t go at all. If it’s a financial issue then perhaps suggest only one of you attend.

Absolutely YANBU and I'd be really shocked to be asked. I expect to have privacy when I'm sleeping. The only people I would share a room with are my husband and my daughter and even they annoy me quite often.

But she’d had her own room before that

It's company policy which both colleagues agreed to so they either have to make it work or negotiate an alternative.

The poor colleague. Her weight and snoring getting discussed with management! Absolutely awful infringement of privacy by this employer.

The Op has clearly said "In her own words she knows she needs to shift some weight, but she chooses not to."

That's not fat shaming.

I am fat, if I was not fat, then I wouldn't snore (and I know this). But I am fat, so I do. Someone using that as a reason for not sharing a room with me is not fat shaming, it's repeating what I have said.

the whole snoring issue is absolutely irrelevant. You do not need a reason @Worktripissue to not want to share at all because you are entitled to a private life.

All you need to say is

on reflection, I feel extremely uncomfortable sharing a bedroom and sleeping in the same room as any colleague. A bedroom is a private space. The process of going to bed including getting undressed and sleeping is a private activity and it is unreasonable to expect virtual strangers only connnected by their employment to give up their privacy in this way. I am sorry but I cannot do this and am not prepared to share a bedroom overnight. I am happy to travel for work but not at the expense of my own privacy.

Perfect! She absolutely doesn't need a reason.

Snoring is correlated with weight.

Weight is not the only cause of snoring.

Do people really not understand this?

No one needs to eat two evening meals, and not in the room where a collegue is sleeping.

But largely, fuck sharing a room. You want me to travel, you pay for a room for me, not a share a room. Or I don't go. No, we're adult, it's work. There are limits.

The flip side of that is that it isn't inherently unreasonable to eat room service in your room, especially after the restaurant has closed.

Yes, in this case, it was the second dinner for the colleague, but what if she'd been out for a walk or working late in the office or talking to her kids before bed and 9pm was the best time for her to eat.

fuck sharing a room. You want me to travel, you pay for a room for me, not a share a room.

precisely.

Her company expects her to spend an evening plus overnight away from home, with no extra pay or even just time off in lieu - AND spend this unpaid overtime sharing with a STRANGER whose habits make her feel very uncomfortable.

No way. Just NO!!

It's not unreasonable to do pretty much whatever you like in a hotel room you have to yourself, But given she's sharing with a person for whom it was a disturbance, she should probably have eaten in one of the hotel's common spaces.

Of course this is another reason why a company expecting people to share is not appropriate. It's not just OP whose boundaries and comfort was walked all over.

Well….yes. I wouldn’t share a room with a colleague.