To tell my manager I won’t share a room with colleague again?

[Worktripissue]

Some background here - my role requires regular travel around the UK as the company has various sites. For about 3 nights each month I stay away in a specific location; up until 2024 I always had my own room, a change was then made for financial reasons that I’d need to share with the colleague travelling with me who does the same role.

No issues at all, we got along and she was respectful and we’ve remained friends post her leaving the company recently.

I travelled with her replacement last week, and we shared a room as per process.

Firstly, she jokingly (I thought) said before we left that she is a snorer. She’s not wrong, even with ear plugs I was struggling to get an uninterrupted nights sleep. By her own admission she is a larger lady and she says even her own husband gets on at her. She honestly snored like a man.

Next issue - we have a £30 per night meal allowance. On one of the nights, I visited my cousin who lives in the area and she cooked for me, so I had no reason to use my allowance.

My colleague asked me if she could use it when I got back to the room (about 9pm at this point). Now she’d already had dinner and the restaurant was closed. She said she only wanted it for a soft drink so I said no problem. She then came back up to the room and said they were still doing room service. 20 minutes later the door goes and hot food arrives which she proceeds to eat on her bed, and the smell lingered all night.

A couple of other minor annoyances in terms of time spent in the bathroom and loud phone calls with her husband which she could have taken outside the room/in reception.

She is polite in general, but that was our first trip and I don’t think I could handle monthly stays with her.

AIBU to tell my manager I won’t share with her again?

Agreed

Even my loveliest colleague is not someone I would share a room with. SO inappropriate- and as a PP pointed out they wouldn’t make you share with a man…would they?!

No.i wouldn't do it.
Next time they ask say "I don't share my personal time or my home with Tracey, so do not expect me to share a hotel room."

I’m intrigued as to whether your company expects two male colleagues to share a room when away travelling?

Also it must be a proper hotel if it’s doing room service so suggest that they pay for premier inn / travel lodge type of accommodation instead and make the savings that way , all getting your own rooms obviously .

Absolutely ludicrous suggestion. Why on earth should she have to pay? It’s a totally unreasonable request in the first place for her employer to tell her to share and one that should never have been agreed on.

Christ alive this is terrible of your company. Basically blackmailing you with the threat of redundancy if you don't comply with their wishes.

It's also completely unacceptable to have to share details about your colleagues personal life and habits to get out of this situation. Really awful and she would be well within her rights to bring a harassment claim. What anyone does in a hotel after working hours is none of anyone's business let alone your line manager.

If you want to stop without just saying "no it's unacceptable" without the risk of being made redundant then make something up about yourself. Sleep apnea that had just developed, heavy periods whatever. But you should just be able to refuse without giving a reason.

I have 25 years experience in employment law by the way, so this is not an uneducated opinion. If they did make you redundant you'd have a great Employment Tribunal case.

I would never agree to sharing anyway

This is totally unacceptable. You should not even know these things about a work colleague let alone be discussing them. Do you think this is dignified for her snoring to be a subject of your thoughts when she is just a work colleague?

Be that as it may, but an ad hominem attack on this particular colleague is the weakest way to make your argument and casts you in the worst possible light.

Well you are delightful with fat shaming

Agree with everyone else. No sharing rooms ever on work assignments.

I know different employers apply different rules for payment, but I used to get a daily allowance that included food and hotel, plus a separate mileage allowance. I could stay wherever I wanted - alone, and if I wanted a really nice hotel I paid the difference, and if it was cheaper I made a few bob!

Ridiculous having to share with anyone while away working. It must be against HR norms surely.

I'm retired now thank the stars....

You are absolutely not being unreasonable in refusing to share a room with your colleague again - as almost everyone else has said, you should never have been sharing in the first place. I've not seen anyone else acknowledge so far and therefore I will - your company isn't entirely unique in this, I've heard of it before - there is no way I would agree to it myself but there's nothing strictly 'illegal' about it. Though your company is putting itself in a difficult situation HR-wise and there are any number of ways in which this could 'go wrong' for them, which is why most don't insist on this! they'd all like to do it cost-wise I'm sure.

Your colleague was utterly unreasonable to attempt to use your meal allowance for her own second dinner, particularly eaten in the room - not only unreasonable but almost certainly against your company's expenses policy and likely benefit in kind/ tax implications to boot if it was all accounted for properly (meaning as food she consumed and not you).

Your colleague is not being unreasonable in being overweight, snoring or anything related to either of these (and the two are not necessarily related to each other). You have proved yourself to be a nasty piece of work in blaming your colleague for being overweight and for snoring as if all of it is easily within her control.

So to recap:

Your employer has been taking the p1ss for some time and has been simply lucky you and the previous colleague got on well enough to be able share a bedroom and save them some cash

Your colleague was selfish and wrong on many levels in wanting to use 'your' allowance (and you were silly to let let her) and in a more minor way, selfish for making loud phone calls in the room (but back to the main point - why shouldn't she have private comfortable space in which to phone home when she's away on work travel? She should have her own room, you both should!)

You are taking this out on the wrong person in criticising your colleague!

Nobody comes out of this particularly well but I suggest you use the whole thing as a reason to put your foot down with your employer and ensure it's never necessary again - emphasising you're happy to have a single room whenever they are available (typically saves 10 or 20% on a room where available and you get tiny rooms with no view, but there are. I'd rather have that than share my space, personally!)

Of course this all assumes you think you can put your foot down without losing your job. Sadly since the employer is doing nothing illegal, this could get a bit nasty if they continue to be wholly unreasonable about it and that could put you in a tricky position. Hopefully though you can just push back, get the policy changed, move on and be happy.

Yeah as a teacher I was amused by all the comments saying sharing is inappropriate - although sharing a room is one of the main reasons I avoid overnight school trips!

They either can afford to put you up in your own room or not at all, highly inappropriate asking you to share with a relative stranger ultimately, you should not have been put in that position.

My relaxation and room paid for by the company, away from home, at THEIR expense, would always have to be the minimum: Large double bed, en suite with quality shower and shampoo products, breakfast of my choosing, delivered, or in dining room, i.e. 4 or 5 star accommodation, plus pay for hours not spent at home. Also, if you play/access to internet at home, then that should totally be available to you along with free time. They are not obligated to track your activities at all at any time.

YOU ARE NOT A SLAVE TO THEIR COMPANY. YOU ARE AN EMPLOYEE.

Yanbu. I don't think colleagues should be sharing anyway.

I wouldn’t share a room when on business travel, ever. I also wouldn’t expect any of my staff to share a room. We all have our own rooms in a decent hotel or we aren’t going.

You are entitled to “knock off” at the end of the day and enjoy your personal space. Unless it’s a serviced 2 bedroom apartment type scenario, then your employer has no right to ask you share a bedroom in normal circumstances.

if things are tight, why can’t meetings be held in the office via zoom or something ?

So you avoid sharing a room with someone else, why?

The only time I ever shared a room with a colleague was on an annual off site jolly and it was absolutely fine because we were young and I was very friendly with several colleagues (we holidayed together) and it was no problem at all. But we didn't have to work the next day.

It isn’t reasonable to be expected to share a sleeping place with a colleague on a work trip.

What would they do had they recruited a male colleague?

Just say you’ve tried to save money but you don’t find it professional to be asked to share a bedroom when at work,

It’s a principle, don’t make it personal about this particular woman.

Yes unless they are particularly senior, as I know they have their own rooms then.

Eh? I was quoting exactly what my colleague said!

This was one of the scenarios I thought of when I was writing my post and highlighting that the scenario wasn't entirely unique! I'm not a teacher but I'd assumed that in certain school trip scenarios, teachers would be sharing. There are other industries/ professions too where it happens (I'm not even including the armed forces where sharing a room is kind of the least of the things that are different to most 'normal' jobs!) But I think it's fair to say that in 2026, it's pretty unusual and would generally be considered unacceptable to expect adults to share rooms.

You said that she had control over her snoring as she could use weight. Every time you refer to your colleague in this post it's with thinly veiled contempt. The fat shaming is clear from more than one post. You're directing your ire in the wrong direction (as I've said in my main response).