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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To tell my manager I won’t share a room with colleague again?

334 replies

Worktripissue · 01/03/2026 15:55

Some background here - my role requires regular travel around the UK as the company has various sites. For about 3 nights each month I stay away in a specific location; up until 2024 I always had my own room, a change was then made for financial reasons that I’d need to share with the colleague travelling with me who does the same role.

No issues at all, we got along and she was respectful and we’ve remained friends post her leaving the company recently.

I travelled with her replacement last week, and we shared a room as per process.

Firstly, she jokingly (I thought) said before we left that she is a snorer. She’s not wrong, even with ear plugs I was struggling to get an uninterrupted nights sleep. By her own admission she is a larger lady and she says even her own husband gets on at her. She honestly snored like a man.

Next issue - we have a £30 per night meal allowance. On one of the nights, I visited my cousin who lives in the area and she cooked for me, so I had no reason to use my allowance.

My colleague asked me if she could use it when I got back to the room (about 9pm at this point). Now she’d already had dinner and the restaurant was closed. She said she only wanted it for a soft drink so I said no problem. She then came back up to the room and said they were still doing room service. 20 minutes later the door goes and hot food arrives which she proceeds to eat on her bed, and the smell lingered all night.

A couple of other minor annoyances in terms of time spent in the bathroom and loud phone calls with her husband which she could have taken outside the room/in reception.

She is polite in general, but that was our first trip and I don’t think I could handle monthly stays with her.

AIBU to tell my manager I won’t share with her again?

OP posts:
dadtoateen · 02/03/2026 20:52

Worktripissue · 02/03/2026 20:48

No and no.

Excellent reply. You carry on fat shaming people, your company should be so proud 👍

Babyijustdontgetit · 02/03/2026 20:53

No way in a million years would I agree to share with anyone who wasn’t a close friend! That’s so weird! For all the reasons you’ve given! Sharing a toilet and sleeping in the same room as near stranger would make me beyond uncomfortable!!

Babyijustdontgetit · 02/03/2026 20:55

Worktripissue · 02/03/2026 18:45

Did you miss the ‘in her own words’? Or are you just a bit dim?

I can’t believe you’re getting called out for this! She snores and eats hot food in the room after having dinner, she sounds vile! Fat or not…

Screamingabdabz · 02/03/2026 20:58

As the thread has gone on, I feel sorry for the colleague tbh. YANBU for not wanting to share but YABU for your inflated sense of superiority.

dadtoateen · 02/03/2026 21:01

Babyijustdontgetit · 02/03/2026 20:53

No way in a million years would I agree to share with anyone who wasn’t a close friend! That’s so weird! For all the reasons you’ve given! Sharing a toilet and sleeping in the same room as near stranger would make me beyond uncomfortable!!

So you never use the toilet in a pub/restaurant etc?

Woodywig · 02/03/2026 21:04

I’ve stayed away with work a lot over the years & in different jobs. I have never been asked to share a room with a colleague. Seems very unusual & not at all appropriate.

IngridBurger · 02/03/2026 21:07

Screamingabdabz · 02/03/2026 20:58

As the thread has gone on, I feel sorry for the colleague tbh. YANBU for not wanting to share but YABU for your inflated sense of superiority.

Me too. Neither should have to share, it's totally unacceptable for an employer to expect this. There appears to be a real disdain for this poor colleague though who also deserves privacy and respect.

Womaninhouse17 · 02/03/2026 21:19

Worktripissue · 02/03/2026 20:33

That’d be a result, assuming the other colleague could sleep without snoring and draws a line at one main meal for their dinner.

I think your complaint should be about having to share a room (no matter who it is) rather than about one particular person.

SheSaidHummingbird · 02/03/2026 21:20

Worktripissue · 01/03/2026 16:30

Well she can do something about the snoring, as in her own words she knows she needs to shift some weight, but she chooses not to.

Edited

And everyone left the room

Londonrach1 · 02/03/2026 21:21

It really isn't appropriate for you to share with a work colleague. Talk to hr about this.

Bunny65 · 02/03/2026 21:22

It’s completely inappropriate for companies to make adult colleagues share rooms.

Littlemisscapable · 02/03/2026 21:24

Babyijustdontgetit · 02/03/2026 20:53

No way in a million years would I agree to share with anyone who wasn’t a close friend! That’s so weird! For all the reasons you’ve given! Sharing a toilet and sleeping in the same room as near stranger would make me beyond uncomfortable!!

This. Not in a million years would i do this as a grown adult woman. How on earth is this acceptable. Do many workplaces enforce this? Never heard of this. Do u do the same job ? Surely just sending one of you would make more sense ?

Cherryicecreamx · 02/03/2026 21:26

Just the snoring alone will give you a restless night so won't be able to function properly the next day for work.
I'm sure you could say something and they'll pair you up with someone else (maybe similar problems on the horizon) unless you can convince them why you need your own room instead.

Nodlikeyouwerelistening · 02/03/2026 21:27

I’m sorry, what did I just read?! Your employer should absolutely NOT be making you share a room with a colleague. If budgets are that tight then they send one of you rather than both for an overnight.
Can’t wait to see your company at tribunal when someone makes a sexual harassment claim because I’m not sure they have a leg to stand on with taking all reasonable steps to prevent harassment when they are literally making you sleep in the same room.
Madness.

IngridBurger · 02/03/2026 21:27

Littlemisscapable · 02/03/2026 21:24

This. Not in a million years would i do this as a grown adult woman. How on earth is this acceptable. Do many workplaces enforce this? Never heard of this. Do u do the same job ? Surely just sending one of you would make more sense ?

It's astonishing that they think it's OK isn't it? If the company can only afford to pay for one room they can only obviously only afford to send one employee. Bizarre that anyone would accept this imo. What next? An extra person on the sofa too?

dubbie · 02/03/2026 21:33

You've got a really bad manager and/or company that makes colleagues share a room. I wouldn't work for a company that thought as little of me as that. You are a grown woman, not a 12 year old child.

HeisseWeisseSchokolade · 02/03/2026 21:36

dadtoateen · 02/03/2026 21:01

So you never use the toilet in a pub/restaurant etc?

You don't understand the difference between closely sharing a set of facilities with a colleague and an anonymised environment like a restaurant or pub?

mjf981 · 02/03/2026 21:37

I'd tell your manager about the snoring. Say you were up all night and exhausted and it was detrimental to doing your job.

I'd leave out the rest of it.

dadtoateen · 02/03/2026 21:38

HeisseWeisseSchokolade · 02/03/2026 21:36

You don't understand the difference between closely sharing a set of facilities with a colleague and an anonymised environment like a restaurant or pub?

Yeah I do thanks 👍do you understand how the op is fat shaming said colleague?

HeisseWeisseSchokolade · 02/03/2026 21:40

dadtoateen · 02/03/2026 21:38

Yeah I do thanks 👍do you understand how the op is fat shaming said colleague?

And how did I ever condone that? Stop conflating two totally different issues - OP's sneering attitude and her company's unacceptable demands.

dadtoateen · 02/03/2026 21:44

HeisseWeisseSchokolade · 02/03/2026 21:40

And how did I ever condone that? Stop conflating two totally different issues - OP's sneering attitude and her company's unacceptable demands.

Meh, they are not unacceptable really. Many many companies have this in place.
wonder what her company will think to her reasons that her colleague is so fat that she snores?
bet that wouldn’t go down well with hr.

HeisseWeisseSchokolade · 02/03/2026 21:52

dadtoateen · 02/03/2026 21:44

Meh, they are not unacceptable really. Many many companies have this in place.
wonder what her company will think to her reasons that her colleague is so fat that she snores?
bet that wouldn’t go down well with hr.

That's exactly why I counselled in several posting to NOT bring the other person into this discussion at all.

NotnowMildrid · 02/03/2026 21:52

Omgod she sounds vile. It must have been like sleeping next to a pig in agony (no offence to pigs).

Make sure you tell your manager everything, so there’s absolutely no excuse for this arrangement to carry on.

Good luck 💐

SheilaFentiman · 02/03/2026 22:01

NotnowMildrid · 02/03/2026 21:52

Omgod she sounds vile. It must have been like sleeping next to a pig in agony (no offence to pigs).

Make sure you tell your manager everything, so there’s absolutely no excuse for this arrangement to carry on.

Good luck 💐

What a bloody horrible thing to say.

This whole thread is an excellent reason not to have employees share rooms - who the heck would want to be posted about on the internet and ripped apart by strangers just for following company policy and sharing with a colleague.

SheilaFentiman · 02/03/2026 22:05

Worktripissue · 02/03/2026 20:48

No and no.

You almost certainly do do something annoying though. Want the room temperature lower or higher than the other person. Turn over repeatedly when trying to get comfortable. Have a night cream that someone else might not like the smell of.

We all have our habits, that’s why we deserve privacy for overnight stays.

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