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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To tell my manager I won’t share a room with colleague again?

334 replies

Worktripissue · 01/03/2026 15:55

Some background here - my role requires regular travel around the UK as the company has various sites. For about 3 nights each month I stay away in a specific location; up until 2024 I always had my own room, a change was then made for financial reasons that I’d need to share with the colleague travelling with me who does the same role.

No issues at all, we got along and she was respectful and we’ve remained friends post her leaving the company recently.

I travelled with her replacement last week, and we shared a room as per process.

Firstly, she jokingly (I thought) said before we left that she is a snorer. She’s not wrong, even with ear plugs I was struggling to get an uninterrupted nights sleep. By her own admission she is a larger lady and she says even her own husband gets on at her. She honestly snored like a man.

Next issue - we have a £30 per night meal allowance. On one of the nights, I visited my cousin who lives in the area and she cooked for me, so I had no reason to use my allowance.

My colleague asked me if she could use it when I got back to the room (about 9pm at this point). Now she’d already had dinner and the restaurant was closed. She said she only wanted it for a soft drink so I said no problem. She then came back up to the room and said they were still doing room service. 20 minutes later the door goes and hot food arrives which she proceeds to eat on her bed, and the smell lingered all night.

A couple of other minor annoyances in terms of time spent in the bathroom and loud phone calls with her husband which she could have taken outside the room/in reception.

She is polite in general, but that was our first trip and I don’t think I could handle monthly stays with her.

AIBU to tell my manager I won’t share with her again?

OP posts:
HeisseWeisseSchokolade · 02/03/2026 19:05

Mmmmnope · 02/03/2026 17:53

You are absolutely not being unreasonable. This isn't a fun girl's outing. This is a work trip. And if you can't get a good night's sleep and are bothered by the behaviors of your "roommate", that's going to interrupt your workflow.

It was absolutely unprofessional of her to ask for your meal allowance and even more unprofessional of her to eat in the room and not just use it for a soft drink.
She lied to you.
Does corporate allow you to give your dinner allowance does somebody else? Will you get in trouble for this?

Meanwhile talk to your coworker. Tell her you were uncomfortable with letting her buy a soda, and she took advantage of you and lied to you.
It kind of sounds like she doesn't have much self reflection or awareness of her own behavior.
Tell her that the snoring affected your work, the entire situation didnt work for you.
See if she's open to changing or adjusting her behaviors accordingly. If not, tell her youre going to approach hr and
ask for different accomodations because this rooming situation didn't work for you.
There's absolutely nothing wrong with approaching her either.
Meamwhile do a little research on cheaper hotels or airbnbs or things that would save them money but would allow you to have your own accommodations.

No. As OP should just be telling HR of her blanket refusal to share in future, bringing the bloody second dinner with her colleague would not accomplish anything useful and would just call awkwardness.

Cornishclio · 02/03/2026 19:07

No you are not unreasonable. If my manager had wanted me to travel for work then that means a single room. I do not share and I would be saying I won't travel if they do not cover a hotel room just for me alone. If you were different sexes presumably he would not have asked and there should be no expectation that just because you are both female it is fine to ask you to share.

OhcantthInkofaname · 02/03/2026 19:07

Please let us know how this works out!

Coconutter24 · 02/03/2026 19:10

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 02/03/2026 18:44

Oh lovely.
Fat shaming.

You're charming aren't you?

If OP said her colleague needs to loose weight to help with the snoring because she’s fat…. Then yes, she’d be fat shaming her but that’s not what she said. Her colleague told OP she could help her snoring by loosing weight. That’s not Op fat shaming anyone

Onetimeusername1 · 02/03/2026 19:11

I worked for a company who forced us to share rooms. It was my fault as I'd accidentally been put in a colleagues twin room because reception got confused about who I was. They jumped on it and from then on expected everyone to share, tight bastards. They were connected to a certain company that decided not to pay their employees pensions out when they 'folded' years later despite having mammoth amounts of personal wealth.

HeisseWeisseSchokolade · 02/03/2026 19:12

CactusSwoonedEnding · 02/03/2026 19:00

If you'd bothered to RTFT you'd know that this point was already made and I agreed with it some 20 hours before your overly-dramatic criticism

Do you really expect people to read through 9 pages of replies before sharing their own thoughts? Think again.

JustSawJohnny · 02/03/2026 19:14

Worktripissue · 01/03/2026 16:30

Well she can do something about the snoring, as in her own words she knows she needs to shift some weight, but she chooses not to.

Edited

I was in 100% in agreement with you until this point but this comment is just bitchy.

Hope you don't fall of that perfect, high horse, OP!

Sounds like it would be a long fall.

JustSawJohnny · 02/03/2026 19:16

Worktripissue · 02/03/2026 18:45

Did you miss the ‘in her own words’? Or are you just a bit dim?

You can shove this crap!

Her admitting she is fat doesn't excuse your sneering judgment at her for 'doing nothing about it'!

SG1FirstTimeWatcher · 02/03/2026 19:35

Worktripissue · 01/03/2026 16:30

Well she can do something about the snoring, as in her own words she knows she needs to shift some weight, but she chooses not to.

Edited

By her own admission she is a larger lady

Where was "Her own words"? You said larger lady?

ScrollingLeaves · 02/03/2026 19:45

Paraguay · 01/03/2026 15:57

This

I don’t think you should ever have been asked to share either. I wouldn’t.

FoxtrotOscarFoxtrotOscar · 02/03/2026 19:51

I'd rather sleep in my car.

Kate8889 · 02/03/2026 20:05

One time when asked to share a room with another male, an colleague of mine said, while making full eye contact "I work with the man, I don't sleep with him". That was the end of that policy, nobody had to share again.

KatieKat88 · 02/03/2026 20:16

HeisseWeisseSchokolade · 02/03/2026 18:44

I'm sure things are different in education (question though - is going on these school trips mandatory or is it an optional activity to make extra money?). In the commercial world, I've never heard of anyone sharing a room on a business trip. For optional jollies such as a "team-building weekends" etc, yes. But not for work.

There is no 'making extra money' in education - educational tour operators will generally give 'free' teacher places per X number of students but it'll be based on us sharing, so extra rooms would cost more. Obviously staff don't get paid for going on the trips.

Notasbigasithink · 02/03/2026 20:26

Worktripissue · 01/03/2026 15:55

Some background here - my role requires regular travel around the UK as the company has various sites. For about 3 nights each month I stay away in a specific location; up until 2024 I always had my own room, a change was then made for financial reasons that I’d need to share with the colleague travelling with me who does the same role.

No issues at all, we got along and she was respectful and we’ve remained friends post her leaving the company recently.

I travelled with her replacement last week, and we shared a room as per process.

Firstly, she jokingly (I thought) said before we left that she is a snorer. She’s not wrong, even with ear plugs I was struggling to get an uninterrupted nights sleep. By her own admission she is a larger lady and she says even her own husband gets on at her. She honestly snored like a man.

Next issue - we have a £30 per night meal allowance. On one of the nights, I visited my cousin who lives in the area and she cooked for me, so I had no reason to use my allowance.

My colleague asked me if she could use it when I got back to the room (about 9pm at this point). Now she’d already had dinner and the restaurant was closed. She said she only wanted it for a soft drink so I said no problem. She then came back up to the room and said they were still doing room service. 20 minutes later the door goes and hot food arrives which she proceeds to eat on her bed, and the smell lingered all night.

A couple of other minor annoyances in terms of time spent in the bathroom and loud phone calls with her husband which she could have taken outside the room/in reception.

She is polite in general, but that was our first trip and I don’t think I could handle monthly stays with her.

AIBU to tell my manager I won’t share with her again?

I think legally companies cannot force you to share a room because of rights to privacy.
Just request that you have your own room next time. Company budget should not infringe on your human rights.

Breadcat24 · 02/03/2026 20:28

To be honest it sounds like you do not want to share a room (understandable) and are then taking it out on the person they put you with by making remarks about their diet, size, habits etc.(not so nice)
I suspect the result you want is for management to not make you share a room.
Would be very funny if they gave the woman you shared with her own room and you still had to share but with someone else!

Frottin · 02/03/2026 20:30

MsDitsy · 02/03/2026 18:21

But her size causes the snoring. It does with my husband and the times he's lost a bit of weight, the snoring stops. I often have to sleep in another room if I have to be well rested the next day. Same with the bathroom visits, it's a good job we have two!

What you meant to say there was your DH's weight seems to be the cause of HIS snoring.

You have zero idea about any other person so it's best not to comment, then you won't look ignorant.

Worktripissue · 02/03/2026 20:33

Breadcat24 · 02/03/2026 20:28

To be honest it sounds like you do not want to share a room (understandable) and are then taking it out on the person they put you with by making remarks about their diet, size, habits etc.(not so nice)
I suspect the result you want is for management to not make you share a room.
Would be very funny if they gave the woman you shared with her own room and you still had to share but with someone else!

That’d be a result, assuming the other colleague could sleep without snoring and draws a line at one main meal for their dinner.

OP posts:
loulouljh · 02/03/2026 20:34

I would not share with anyone.

HeisseWeisseSchokolade · 02/03/2026 20:39

KatieKat88 · 02/03/2026 20:16

There is no 'making extra money' in education - educational tour operators will generally give 'free' teacher places per X number of students but it'll be based on us sharing, so extra rooms would cost more. Obviously staff don't get paid for going on the trips.

But is this mandatory as part of your employment? If not, I would grudgingly accept that. But I wouldn't be volunteering to go on those things either.

waterrat · 02/03/2026 20:40

just no. absolutely no way would I share a room as an adult for work.

tadjennyp · 02/03/2026 20:41

HeisseWeisseSchokolade · 02/03/2026 18:44

I'm sure things are different in education (question though - is going on these school trips mandatory or is it an optional activity to make extra money?). In the commercial world, I've never heard of anyone sharing a room on a business trip. For optional jollies such as a "team-building weekends" etc, yes. But not for work.

Not mandatory. Often expected to go over weekends or holidays. No extra money at all.

Spirallingdownwards · 02/03/2026 20:45

Worktripissue · 01/03/2026 16:30

Well she can do something about the snoring, as in her own words she knows she needs to shift some weight, but she chooses not to.

Edited

Sorry I lost any sympathy when you posted this.

dadtoateen · 02/03/2026 20:47

Worktripissue · 02/03/2026 20:33

That’d be a result, assuming the other colleague could sleep without snoring and draws a line at one main meal for their dinner.

Guessing you are the perfect room guest? Don’t snore, talk on your phone etc etc?

dadtoateen · 02/03/2026 20:48

waterrat · 02/03/2026 20:40

just no. absolutely no way would I share a room as an adult for work.

Why?

Worktripissue · 02/03/2026 20:48

dadtoateen · 02/03/2026 20:47

Guessing you are the perfect room guest? Don’t snore, talk on your phone etc etc?

No and no.

OP posts: