To tell my manager I won’t share a room with colleague again?

[Worktripissue]

Some background here - my role requires regular travel around the UK as the company has various sites. For about 3 nights each month I stay away in a specific location; up until 2024 I always had my own room, a change was then made for financial reasons that I’d need to share with the colleague travelling with me who does the same role.

No issues at all, we got along and she was respectful and we’ve remained friends post her leaving the company recently.

I travelled with her replacement last week, and we shared a room as per process.

Firstly, she jokingly (I thought) said before we left that she is a snorer. She’s not wrong, even with ear plugs I was struggling to get an uninterrupted nights sleep. By her own admission she is a larger lady and she says even her own husband gets on at her. She honestly snored like a man.

Next issue - we have a £30 per night meal allowance. On one of the nights, I visited my cousin who lives in the area and she cooked for me, so I had no reason to use my allowance.

My colleague asked me if she could use it when I got back to the room (about 9pm at this point). Now she’d already had dinner and the restaurant was closed. She said she only wanted it for a soft drink so I said no problem. She then came back up to the room and said they were still doing room service. 20 minutes later the door goes and hot food arrives which she proceeds to eat on her bed, and the smell lingered all night.

A couple of other minor annoyances in terms of time spent in the bathroom and loud phone calls with her husband which she could have taken outside the room/in reception.

She is polite in general, but that was our first trip and I don’t think I could handle monthly stays with her.

AIBU to tell my manager I won’t share with her again?

Why should OP go to all that trouble? And it's not the co-worker's fault either - nor should she be expected to change her behaviour. Neither of them should be forced to share with anyone else.

Highly inappropriate. Refuse to ever do this again.

I would have refused point blank to share a room with a work colleague!

I travel for work and would never expect to share a room with a colleague, I think you need to push back heavily on this. I know you have gone along with it previously but its really not appropriate.

But her size causes the snoring. It does with my husband and the times he's lost a bit of weight, the snoring stops. I often have to sleep in another room if I have to be well rested the next day. Same with the bathroom visits, it's a good job we have two!

This is not your concern. I've never worked for a company that expected colleagues to share a room while on a business trip. Conversely, during company "away weekends" to places like Spain or the US, the junior ranks did indeed share but going there was a perk, not a job requirement.

Hugely inappropriate and unreasonable of your employer to expect you to share. Just state calmly that you cannot continue with it.

You could always say that you have recently started experiencing sleep issues so sharing a room really impacts these days.

In the long run, the company will not benefit if you are too exhausted to be truly productive.

The issue is not the colleague, it's sharing a room. It's not appropriate, unless you're in Planes, Trains and Automobiles.

She doesn't need to justify herself at all. And absolutely should not humiliate the colleague by bringing up the snoring, eating too much, leaving the toilet dirty or whatever. None of this matters. "I cannot have proper rest or be productive when sharing with another person who I am not related to". That's it.

It would be TOTALLY INAPPROPRIATE to bring up the colleague's snoring or any other personal information. None of this should be mentioned or matters.

Don't listen to people who talk about "ground rules", "mention X but don't mention Y", etc. All you need to do is say that "I am no longer comfortable sharing a room with another person". If they push for reason say "I can't get proper rest with another person in the room who I'm not related to, and I expect privacy while travelling on company business".

Wrong, wrong, wrong. "I am writing to tell you that I will not be sharing a hotel room with ANOTHER COLLEAGUE again." There, fixed it for you. On no account bring another person into this.

Not a chance would I share with anyone… YANBU

I wouldn't even share a room with a friend or a adult relative. I couldn't sleep with another person in the room that wasn't a partner or child. I want my own space

No way would I share with a colleague who is basically a stranger. I wouldn't trust them. They could film you sleeping or just lie their watching you creepily or get up to all sorts of weird stuff.

Like others have said, it was unreasonable to ask in the first place so you are not being urneasonable to say no at all. I think you made a mistake agreeing at all.

I'm sure things are different in education (question though - is going on these school trips mandatory or is it an optional activity to make extra money?). In the commercial world, I've never heard of anyone sharing a room on a business trip. For optional jollies such as a "team-building weekends" etc, yes. But not for work.

Oh lovely.
Fat shaming.

You're charming aren't you?

Yanbu but I also think it is wildly out of order for your employer to ever ask people to share rooms

Did you miss the ‘in her own words’? Or are you just a bit dim?

Absolutely this.

And the coworker is not being unreasonable by eating room service in the room (clue’s
in the name) or taking a long shower or needing the loo in the night or whatever. These are all perfectly fine human behaviours that are only a problem because the room sharing has been imposed.

Not unreasonable at all .. if it effects your job and the thought of having to put up with this every month would be a dread everytime .
I couldn't do it.

My company did cut backs and said no hotels, so now we have to get up at 5am to go on the train and arrive back at midnight with 8 hours train travel per day - on top of a full working 8 hour day.

if I had the choice I’d love to have a hotel overnight, even if with a snorer. Wear ear plugs and tell the colleague to eat in the hotel restaurant. Establish some ground rules like 20 mins max in the bathroom in the morning. Lights off at midnight. Stuff like that.

I snore and would not impose this on any colleague, I even sleep separately to my husband now. I hope you get your private room next time.

If you'd bothered to RTFT you'd know that this point was already made and I agreed with it some 20 hours before your overly-dramatic criticism

If you want to make a suggestion to your firm and there’s a Tesco express or whatever near the hotel, I’d prefer a £10 allowance to get a meal deal or pasta salad or something so there’s more in the budget for a private hotel room!