To tell my manager I won’t share a room with colleague again?

[Worktripissue]

Some background here - my role requires regular travel around the UK as the company has various sites. For about 3 nights each month I stay away in a specific location; up until 2024 I always had my own room, a change was then made for financial reasons that I’d need to share with the colleague travelling with me who does the same role.

No issues at all, we got along and she was respectful and we’ve remained friends post her leaving the company recently.

I travelled with her replacement last week, and we shared a room as per process.

Firstly, she jokingly (I thought) said before we left that she is a snorer. She’s not wrong, even with ear plugs I was struggling to get an uninterrupted nights sleep. By her own admission she is a larger lady and she says even her own husband gets on at her. She honestly snored like a man.

Next issue - we have a £30 per night meal allowance. On one of the nights, I visited my cousin who lives in the area and she cooked for me, so I had no reason to use my allowance.

My colleague asked me if she could use it when I got back to the room (about 9pm at this point). Now she’d already had dinner and the restaurant was closed. She said she only wanted it for a soft drink so I said no problem. She then came back up to the room and said they were still doing room service. 20 minutes later the door goes and hot food arrives which she proceeds to eat on her bed, and the smell lingered all night.

A couple of other minor annoyances in terms of time spent in the bathroom and loud phone calls with her husband which she could have taken outside the room/in reception.

She is polite in general, but that was our first trip and I don’t think I could handle monthly stays with her.

AIBU to tell my manager I won’t share with her again?

Nonsense. Adding the phrase 'in her own words' doesn't disguise the fat shaming and judgement in your post. Absolutely no need to mention her weight at all.

I think the way you talk about her is quite negative tbh op considering you described her as a friend.

I snore a lot and would have been mortified to have to share with a colleague for that reason. I also hate the term "snore like a man" as if women can't/ don't snore or like it's somehow masculine to do so.

You are not being unreasonable to not want to share. You are been unreasonable to slate your so called friend on here behind her back.

You, on the other hand, sound lovely.

You need to talk discreetly to your manager about these issues OP. I think you know that. Posting on here in this way, is just making you sound as if you look down on your colleague for being overweight and a snorer. It's clear from the way you have taken multiple opportunities to mention her meal intake and how she is overweight "by her own admission". The latter doesn't make it socially acceptable for YOU to make it an issue too.. that's just the way it is, but I suspect you know that and enjoy 'hitting that nerve' on here so you can have a little dig at others who, for some reason, you feel you may also be a bit superior to 'for the same reason '

On that note, it's not so much that a PP is "a bit dim".. more that you, the OP, is behaving, as some may see it, like a bit of a bitch. Note for moderation purposes: I am not calling the OP names.. I am observing that some may feel she is posting bitchily. Perhaps you genuinely don't realise this OP? Perhaps you should do some self reflection, once you've spoke to your manager, discreetly, like a grownup, about how you can achieve a better nights sleep on these work trips.

Christ no, I’m not sure I would even expect a young grad to do this! Shuddering at the thought.

OP if you have to drive to your location, use that as leverage. Say you aren't sleeping because of the snoring and as you aren't sleeping, you aren't fit to drive. That should soon fix things as it's a real danger to force someone to drive when they aren't fit to.

And to all this fat shaming nonsense, she said it about herself, you are just repeating her words. Since I've got fat, I snore loud enough to wake myself up! You are allowed to call yourself fat to other people and you are allowed to state facts, without them being an insult.

thats insane that they make you share a room!

Companies can force room sharing to cut costs . I agree it’s inappropriate .

Exactly. Add farting, talking in your sleep, spending ages in the bathroom, using all the coat hangers, insisting on having the window open/ closed, talking too much... It's bad enough sharing with your own partner!

This is crazy, in my job there's a policy that you can't be asked to share a bathroom on overnight trips, which I would have thought was quite usual

It’s true though.
I’m guessing you haven’t ever been unfortunate enough to spend all night WIDE AWAKE with someone who sounds like a pig in agony?

I would never share a room with a colleague no matter how nice they were. That's really appropriate. You need your own privacy in evenings.

Room sharing is for kids, not adults...and definitely not for work colleagues!!!

Snoring is necessarily down to being overweight.

I fart like a cart horse thanks to IBS and get night sweats due to menopause so strip off. Often I can’t sleep away from home so I put on the telly or read. I’d never share a room as it would totally infringe my privacy as well as being awful for my sharer!

Totally agree. "Snore like a man" - as though women don't snore! And sometimes snoring is due to weight, but sometimes it isn't!

But YANBU not to want to share. Speak to your manager and keep it scrupulously factual and neutral. You weren't well rested; you couldn't do your job to the best of your abilities. You need your own room next time.

It is simply not acceptable to make colleagues share a bedroom.

Of course but I’m in and out… there’s a difference between sleeping in a room and getting ready/ washing etc in a bathroom that a stranger is also using.. It’s just weird and would make me feel uncomfortable.

Sorry OP but I weigh 9 stone and snore really bad 😂, to a point that if I wasn't married I would be too embarrassed to start sharing a room with someone else

And what would it even save anyway? Couple of hundred quid? Presumably if finances are tight the business leaders have taken a pay cut of that amount? Thought not

The company hasn’t yet said no to OP- she was previously ok to share as she was friendlier with a previous colleague

I disagree. It gives an overall picture of how awful it was!

But it actually doesn’t matter if it was truly dreadful or a little inconvenient (eg disagreement on temperature of room). OP and colleagues still deserve privacy overnight.

I honestly do not understand some of the comments such as the one you are responding to here. If they did give her her own room and you shared with someone else, it doesn't seem as though it would be a problem for you as that is what you did before. Basically, you didn't get a good night's sleep and so most likely had trouble performing your role - for that they need to change it, whether that means giving you or her her own room then so be it. Good luck with your chat with your boss - or hope it went well if you've already had it. x

It's not fat shaming. It's medically recognised that being overweight causes snoring. And I know from experience that when I put on a few stone, I snore a lot at night.

I actually don't care about sharing a room with a female colleague but I wouldn't want to subject them to my snoring.

And eating a hot smelly meal in the room when your colleague and room mate is about to sleep is terrible behaviour and that's not fat shaming either.

Also, OP's employers should be ashamed - of themselves. I bet they don't ask male colleagues to share a room.