To start WW3 with my SIL

[Allthewineandallrhedrinks]

Long story but I will keep it short.

Me and my husband had decided to stop speaking or engaging with SIL. Mainly because of an incident where my husband said something in a jokey way to my neice and she literally sulked off to another room in my parents house like it was the biggest deal making me feel uncomfortable and she's not even blood related.
I messaged my brother about Easter as we always do stuff all together and I said we need to do it separate this year. He asked why I said because your wife is a toddler sulking off and we don't want to see her again. Hears nothing more from my brother.

So then at my kids school it all gets a bit weird my mum friendship circle start ignoring me and I keep asking whats wrong and they say nothing all fine. But then they are organising meet ups without me which never happens. I normally am one that arranges them. I keep asking what's wrong. Finally find out. My SIL has told one of the mums that she knows through work about my husbands past. He did some bad stuff and was in prison but he did his time and is an amazing person.
Now because of my bitch SIL I am now isolated from my friendship group.

I was willing to not make a big deal and just not speak or see her again but she has made this personal and I cannot let this go.

I've only read the OP's posts and that's quite enough. Hilarious.

I hope MNHQ don't take this down. They've done it once already this week for an OP who also plainly didn't like the tide of opinion against them.

Your husband started shit with your niece, you fed it, and SIL finished it.

You obviously underestimated her.

Amazing people apologize when they've made offensive remarks to young girls, not claim to not remember what they said.

Everyone sucks here. Everyone.

You. Your SIL. Your so called friends. Your brother. Your husband. Everyone. Not one of you sounds like anyone I'd like to spend any time with and frankly, like a bunch of children.

It should be left up as a cautionary tale to others. Whether they’re like OP, the mother, the SIL or the friends. But MN does seem quite naice on the whole. They’d have kittens if they heard about some people I know.

So is mine. I think sil has good cause.

you seem all charmers and princes

You have not given us enough information. But going on What you have said it sounds like you are largely responsible for this problem

@ChattyCatty25 Thanks I was on the thread pages ago and wondered if the DH crime had been revealed.
So 27 pages in still not revealed so it must be a bad one.
The sil got it bang on.👍

Your mum thought your DH should apologise for his comment to your neice. Perhaps your SiL did overreact but surely it was better that she went to another room than carry on having a row at a family event. She may have disclosed your DH's prison record to be malicious but she didn't say anything untrue. His offence warranted a custodial sentence and if your friends have cut you off because of it they think it's serious too.

Well it obviously matters enough that people who found out about it are so disturbed by it that they are all avoiding you now. Clearly it wasn’t a minor thing. So you can say you don’t think it matters what the conviction was but the point is it’s the whole reason you’re now being ostracised.

You sound awful with the "not even blood related" alone. That is a child. You DH is not blood related either.
Sounds like your queen been mask has slipped and you don't like it

Not discounting this but could be addictions / anger management if the crime wasn’t sexual.

Whatever way it’s serious enough he was put in prison and the OP won’t disclose it as “it sounds bad”.

So your husband offended his niece and instead of apologising you've decided to cut your brothers family put of your life for "not taking a joke"? Usually it is polite to apologise when you offend someone even if it wasn't your intention.

Maybe your SIL should not have shared what your husband has done to a child that resulted him into going prison. But you basiclaly announced she's not blood and not family so she doesn't have to have any loyalty to you either. Sounds like she's treating you like any aquintance sharing gossip.

What on earth are you talking about ? Brother and SiL did nothing but try to protect their daughter. OP’s mum clearly thought an apology was warranted, but OP decided to flounce and cause drama instead.

As has been said many times throughout the thread, DH clearly had a significant conviction involving a child, for which he served a prison sentence. OP has declined to say what the offence was, and also what it was her DH said to her niece. If what he said has given SiL any reason to think he’s not safe around children then she’s done the right thing by telling the mutual friend so that she can pass on the information to the school mum group.

And the school mum group were perfectly reasonable in stepping back from OP because clearly they were disturbed by what they’ve heard. Especially if any of their children have been around DH unsupervised.

Your SIL was angry or upset and instead of making a scene, she left the room. For that, you wanted to never see her again.

You realize that would likely mean rarely seeing your sibling and likely never seeing any nieces or nephews. People don’t tend to allow family to see their children when the parents have been cut off.

Based on the framing of the relationship in the various posts, it is hard to believe you are an accurate reporter that the statement to the niece was benign. You are criticizing the mother for not vaping and for doing charity work. This is absolutely bizarre.

It’s not private info though?

courts are public news. You can look up any court case.

all she did was share that as such. She didn’t share private info. As in news they shouldn’t have ever known.

you want to be her so bad 🤣

No she didnae. Where did she type that?

In her third post the OP said:

It absolutely was not sexual related. It did sort of involve a kid but not in any sequel way.

Way back pages ago,it involved a child but wasn't a sexual offence but didn't elaborate any further as to what he did do to earn a stint in prison.

Yep, SiL is the bitch in the OP's scenario. I think OP has just had enough of her. The SiL is conniving and vindictive. Why else would she divulge that info other than in hope it would spread. OP needs to speak with her brother about what his wife has done.

She also said:
It was over 15 years ago it was a typo in other post. It wasnt violent or sexual

I feel that all of you are just like mini SILs in here so thats why you dont see it my way. I don't believe this is real. At all. Also it's hard to see it your way when we have half a story. If someone had said something to my niece that was awful enough for her to walk out, I wouldn't conveniently forget about it. I'd want to protect my niece and support her, especially since the person saying something to her had a criminal conviction involving children.

She is one of the goodies does marathons, doesnt drink doesnt vape does charity and what's wrong with that?!

It wasnt violent or sexual just people being massively OTT and extreme. People don't generally go to prison for others being "massively OTT and extreme".

ok for her to share private information knowing the impact it could have on a family.

but you didn’t think of impact that could have on them as a couple when you blamed her so harshly to her husband. You could have directly handled with her if her going to other room made you so uncomfortable.
Perhaps in equal measure your husband’s comment made her feel uncomfortable, so should he be insulted being called a toddler?

Most online newspaper archives don’t back to 2010 these days as they have changed the website hosts so how on earth did they manage to find an online article from back then if it was so long ago that your husband committed this offence?