To not be prepared to drive all this way?

[Absolutelynocluee]

My sil and her dh are going away in the Easter holidays for a caravan holiday. They have offered to take my 8yo ds, on the condition that I drive him there and pick him up. This is because it’s their holiday so they only want to have him for a few nights in the middle. So let’s say that they are going away for 7 nights, they only want to have him for 3. It’s a 3 hour drive. So for me I’d be driving for 6 hours twice. With going there and back.

It’s caused a falling out because I have said that I don’t want to drive.

I haven’t asked them to take him away, we go on holiday ourselves at least once or twice a year so it’s not like it would be his only chance to have a holiday.

There wouldn’t be enough room for me to stay too and to be honest I wouldn’t want to go and haven’t been invited.

Dh can’t do the drive because he will be working.

Aibu to simply not be prepared to do this?

This is another one of those “look what a nice thing we’re offering to do” which merely costs you time and money

anything that causes you more work is not something nice.

SIL sounds like a bit of an idiot to be honest. Tell her you cannot fit 12 hrs driving over 3 days into your busy family life, who will look after the other DCs , if you break down and are late and DH is at work. The logistics dont work sorry SIL

This. It’s not exactly hard to solve?

if they won’t do this then no point

theyll live. It’s a stupid to plan without running it by you first.

It would be reasonable to meet her half way, if she doesn’t want to do that cancel your DS trip.

I love driving much more than child care .. so I would happily do it .. but each to their own

Jesus. My parents came to see me every 4 weeks whilst at Uni 3 hours away.

Sure you're not jealous they're having a holiday?

Why? Why did your parents keep coming to see you every 4 weeks at Uni?

How bizarre. Sounds like they were infantilising you. Hard to be independent and learn how to live without your parents, when they visit you at Uni so frequently. The vast majority of people I know would have been mortified if their parents kept visiting them at Uni. 😬

.

@Absolutelynocluee i think if you had to do the drive once then yes .However since they have made all these plans and expect you to work around them and do the drive twice, when you would only have to do it once . Then no I wouldn’t do it .

What does that even mean? You love driving even more than you love child care?

Nice of your MIL to offer to do the driving.

You know there is an ulterior motive behind it. Like can you take stuff back for them in your car?

Or bring something

Sometimes I went back home with them for the weekend to do a hobby and see the rest of the family. Sometimes they gave my friends a lift so they could see theirs.

Bear in mind that's only 5 or 6 times a year when you consider lectures are only 6 months of the year

We're not all the same and the OP doesn't want to do it.

We're all different and she doesn't want to do it.

Pity they can’t either take him or bring him back

They've offered (which is nice of them), just politely decline if you don't fancy it.

yeah that's one or two days a month? Different to the OP's situation, asking her to drive 6 hours twice in three days.

I’m with you op. I wouldn’t want to drive 6 hours, then do it again 3 days later. Funny that SIL and MIL aren’t offering to do it …..

That's fine but she did ask if she was being unreasonable about the drive. She's not unreasonable to not want to do it herself (people can make their own decisions about what they're prepared to do) but she is unreasonable to think that 6 hours driving in itself is a problem. Even if it's twice within a few days. The way some people are going on, you'd think they were in danger of melting into a pool of pink glitter on the side of the M5 if they spend more than a couple of hours behind the wheel.

Personally I don't see the problem with the length of the drive myself but if the OP doesn't want to do it then she's free to decide that and not unreasonable to push back against pressure from her in-laws.

Waste of time, money (petrol), environment and effort (inconvenience). Not the most friendly or generous offer if the DS is accommodated part of the holiday period. Sounds less than "full" family integration for the DS?

This

This sounds like a very specific situation relating to you and your parents (most people are not doing this) and also not comparable to the OPs scenario in any way?

I wouldn’t do it!! It would have to be for a life changing experience or opportunity for me to do that much driving for my child , and I spend my entire weekend driving them around to sports closer to home. 😆

I doubt she’s jealous, and with all due respect, this is a completely different situation