To not be prepared to drive all this way?

[Absolutelynocluee]

My sil and her dh are going away in the Easter holidays for a caravan holiday. They have offered to take my 8yo ds, on the condition that I drive him there and pick him up. This is because it’s their holiday so they only want to have him for a few nights in the middle. So let’s say that they are going away for 7 nights, they only want to have him for 3. It’s a 3 hour drive. So for me I’d be driving for 6 hours twice. With going there and back.

It’s caused a falling out because I have said that I don’t want to drive.

I haven’t asked them to take him away, we go on holiday ourselves at least once or twice a year so it’s not like it would be his only chance to have a holiday.

There wouldn’t be enough room for me to stay too and to be honest I wouldn’t want to go and haven’t been invited.

Dh can’t do the drive because he will be working.

Aibu to simply not be prepared to do this?

Bugger that

Can't the 3 days coincide with the beginning or end of the holiday so they can take him (or bring him back) and you only have to do the drive once?

Sod that for a game of soldiers.

Why are they being weird and not offerening to take him for the first 3 days so you only have to make the journey once?

I’m currently having to do a 3 hour drive on a regular basis. It’s tiring and I wouldn’t do it for something like this that doesn’t feel necessary. If you can’t stay with them you would also have to do a 6 hour round trip. Again I’ve done this out of necessity a few times recently but I wouldn’t do it by choice. This feels like a gesture on their part that requires little effort but lots of inconvenience for you.

Nope.

Either they can fit him in their car or they can't. Seems very odd to me.

No I wouldn’t do that. Tell sil thank you for the offer of taking him but unfortunately due to the distance and the driving I’d need to do we’ll have to decline.
Job done

Well to be honest I don’t want to do the drive even once. Like I say I didn’t ask them to take him and we have plenty of holidays.

But no, they have things booked in so they want to have him on certain days.

If you don't want to do it, just say no.

i wouldn't want to do this either - just say no

I’ve said no but sil has gone off on one and is making out like I’m the worlds worst mother and ruining my sons happiness

She’s even got mil to try to talk me round.

No way would I do that!

If MIL complains then she can do the fucking drive

If it's that important to the dozy mare, they can take him from start to finish.

They can't just 'book him in' for a few activities a 3 hour drive away. Your son is not a commodity.

Yeah this!

Or your husband could take the time off work if he wants him to go.

Are they wanting your child to go so their children have someone to play with?

Thanks but no thanks sister

So for the sake of 3 days, you've got to spend 2 days driving.

Nah.

They only want to have him on certain days (presumably) because he is being invited to play with a cousin and keep them company on days that they don’t have planned excursions. I know he’s 8, but he’s essentially been recruited as childcare to stop their child being bored. This is all about THEIR convenience. They’re not trying to be kind and you’re not being unkind to say no thank you to 12 hours of driving!

Could they do it so it was one end so either you drive him up and they bring him back or they take him and you pick up after 3 days, saves the double journey and when I say you I mean you or your husband. It doesn't have to be you

Ignore me I missed one of your updates

Yanbu. I would be good for nothing on a day where I drove 6 hours, it would wipe out the whole day for me, so doing the driving would be losing 2 days. An 8yo would have a better experience with having 2 days of 1:1 with mum and the rest of the time in a holiday club and have much nicer days than 2x long drives and time with uncle&aunt.

Say it's a lovely idea but best kept for a futue year when DS is old enough to be put on a train that they can meet. A sensible dc of age 11/12 or so can sit quietly on a train unaccompanied if put on the train by one adult and met on the platform by another with no changes.

Oh sorry just noticed she’s SIL, that’s a big fuck no from me

Why is she being so weird? Why is she so desperate to have him?

I’d do it once if my DC would enjoy it, but absolutely no chance I’d do it twice. That’s just nonsense

Why are they so desperate for him to come on their holiday? He gets plenty of holidays with you.

They are being ridiculous to expect you to drive there and back twice meaning that you would be driving for 12 hours in total.

Why is your MIL pressuring you? If she is so keen for him to go, tell her to do the driving.