So, how is it actually possible for our adult kids to ever move out of home?

[cateringday]

I’m imagining it’s the same for a lot of people.
two kids 20 and 18, they both actually have £10000 in the bank as an inheritance but can’t see how they would ever get enough for a deposit or pay a mortgage. If they rent then all that money will be gone anyway.

how old are kids leaving home these days

we live in the south east

I'm not sure it would. "Email jobs" are being taken by AI, especially at entry level. All she'd end up with is a load of debt.

Something like training to be an electrician might suit her if she's autistic - maybe specialising in IoT (internet of things), smart home, and solar installations. It's a growing, lucrative area, and really varied and interesting (I do it as a hobby, but am considering it as a career change).

Similar to me - 3 bed house for 120 in 2011. They are still sub 150 on that street. Really lovely area in Lancashire. I was on 14k and hubby 18k at the time. It can definitely be done.

Unless they earn a very good salary though, once you start renting, it's very hard to then save to buy

The only way they will move out is if they get a job.

once they’ve moved out, they’ll need to keep that job to pay any rent or mortgage.

your kids already have a significant leg up with the £10k.

get them jobs and the rest will sort itself out.

I know it feels hard, but they are also “only” 18 / 20. Can your one who dropped out of uni apply for a ln apprenticeship?

They save. They prioritise. My 30 year old chooses to live at home but spends very little of her wages. She has enough for an excellent deposit when she wants to buy.

nowdays people seem to want expensive holidays, cars and nights out instead of money in the bank.

Youth unemployment is very high at the moment.

Realistically, I don't think many people are going to go for an untried 18-year-old to do gardening or cleaning when it is fairly easy to find a reliable person who's been doing it for years and can point to a host of satisfied clients as references (which I think is the case for both gardening and cleaning atm).

43 but even with increased housing costs where we are in scotland it sees doable. £800 in rent a month between a couple for a 1 bed, but a 1 bed flat somewhere not so trendy and pay a mortgage together (my sister did all this with a best friend as she's perpetually single, we sort off assumed eventually we'd find out they were on a relationship but they're just pals)

We grew up both of us in relative poverty. Me more so than him but in a council house where I shared a room with 3 sisters, went to uni and lived off student loan and telesales work, eventually qualified and had a £25k salary which I creased reasonably quickly but already seemed like a fortune etc etc.

We always felt we were ok with 2 salaries around that level, saved lots, spent minimal on any extras, cooked at home, our flat was very old fashioned etc but we gradually caught it up. You do have to be willing to be really frugal is the main thing. Our expectations for leisure money were low because they always had been.

Nowadays we've good salaries and 2 kids and childcare is main expense now.

I dunno I can't have too much sympathy for grown adults still living at home, fed watered and safety netted who can't find a way to study or work on that environment

Both my sons have purchased a property each, but they stayed at home until they had saved enough to buy. The eldest saved with his partner, barely going anywhere for 3 or 4 years! Both lived at home and managed to save £40k between them. It took until they were almost 30 but they did it. The youngest, who is autistic, struggled at university but stuck it out. He found it harder as he was saving alone but, with a £10k inheritance from his grandparents, managed to save £20k and bought a flat when he was 31. Obviously, it depends on property prices locally and they will have to balance employment opportunities and housing costs, but it is not impossible.

The South East is more "sink and swim" than the rest of the UK, it sounds like it's too much for her. Somewhere smaller and slower might be easier for her. I know my ASD DD won't consider London, especially commuting to it. She'd be happier in a market town or somewhere like Lincoln, Nairn, Yorkshire dales or Aviemore.

Once she's up and running she could return, but she'd find it a lot easier to take that first step outside the SE. I'd consider looking at lower level jobs at small universities. She'd probably be able to take courses on the side and feel part of a community. Or retail jobs in places like National Trust properties, Historic England, less pressured than normal retail, more inclusive and patient.

Well it's easier to buy with a partner obviously. My daughter and her partner bought the cheapest flat they could find, a few years later sold it and bought a house. My son then left home by becoming their lodger as theirs is in a better town for employment and the house is much bigger than mine 😂

Edited to add - we are the south of the east of England, so not quite proper SE and they rented a flat for 2 years before buying

Have you moved out of your parents house straight into your own property, OP? I haven't, and neither has any of my friends. You slum it out in a shared house for a while, move in with your partner later on, if you've got one, you save hard and get a mortgage (and some people will never save enough or earn enough to get their own home).

Or retail jobs in places like National Trust properties, Historic England, less pressured than normal retail, more inclusive and patient.

But also few and far between and vastly more oversubscribed due to so many of the young people who have trained for jobs in heritage but can’t find anything directly in their field applying for them.

Work? Rent?

No. I lived in house shares and squats

If they don't have jobs that are earning them money to save then I'm not sure why you think £10,000 is enough? It wasn't enough 15 years ago, it's certainly not enough now. I lived in house shares for years while I was saving up, had a good job and still only managed to buy at 30 with a much bigger deposit than that.

It's a bit of a pipe dream to move out at 18 to a mortgage isn't it?

I left university 20 years ago but even then I had to move back in with my parents to save for a house deposit.

I always paid my mum a modest rent though (£250pm) , and paid a couple of the smaller bills like the telephone/internet bill.

Also kept the house clean and didn't take the piss.

So how do you not see the position of your children as massively priveleged?

But I left home at 18. They’re not going to do that

We are also SE and have 21yo graduate DS back at home (also has ASD/ADHD and life is not easy for him). Finding work around here is incredibly difficult - even minimum wage stuff - DS does manage to work but it's a zero hours contract and very unpredictable in terms of hours. At the moment I can't imagine a time when he's going to be in a position to move out.

Being in the SE does make it incredibly hard and unless DC are in a relationship and can pool salaries - or if DC on their own are a very high City type earner - it's nigh on impossible for many. I have friends with DC in their thirties, graduate DC earning decent money, who can't afford to move out of home because they are single and can't get a solo mortgage.

It must definitely be easier away from the southern part of the country. To give an example: DH and I bought our first flat in the SE in the early 2000s, in our late 20s, for just under £180k. At the time this felt eye watering but was just about doable as a couple, both earning decent but not super high salaries, with a small amount of help towards a deposit from our parents. That flat sold last autumn for £725k. Absolutely no way could anyone in a similar position to us in the 2000s afford that property now!

Ds has bought a shared ownership house, with grand parental help for the deposit.

The problem I see is even if you manage to get a deposit together it’s the income multiplier problem. Easier for a couple, much more difficult for a single person- hence ds going for a shared ownership house.

They rent a room be independent. Save. House buying on your own is a pipe dream. Usually one buys if a partners becomes a thing. Until then its a singles life either at home or in a rent a room. Many years ago did this. Also did part time weekend work. Its how you get on.

This is very unrealistic these days. Mid to late twenties more feasible 25-28. This is why I wouldn't charge keep unless I financially had to, on the basis they worked full time and saved like mad floor a deposit. Also lots of young people seem to want to buy a house, better to get on the ladder and buy a flat when you can. It's what I did at 24 (graduated at 22 4 year degree , went home for two years worked full time plus a bar job saved as much as possible) made about 30k profit on it in 5 years and that plus the original flat deposit plus additional savings ended up as the deposit for our house, 3 bed semi. DH moved in about 2 years after I bought so with joint income and a 1 bed flat we could afford to save, pay for our wedding etc. Neither of us had any inheritance or financial gifts

Both DC returned home after uni. We didn't charge much rent and when one partner moved in stopped charging rent at all so they could save more. They bought just before lockdown. Other one moving out soon. Have thoroughly enjoyed having them here and will miss not having them around.

Studio flats around here are ridiculous currently £950/month (SE) so it made sense for DC to put up with us to be able to get on the ladder. I expect we drove them nuts, they were here for quote a while but it paid off. They are now in their second home with a child.

Also have you helped them plan a budget?

Round here in Reading you can get a bills-inclusive room, walkable to the station, for £575-£600 a month . Allow £7k for a 6-zone season ticket to central London, add food, limited budget for clothes/sundries and phone on top.

A full time Minimum wage job would cover those costs. Standard of living will be very low indeed but we all have to start somewhere.

No one is saying it’s easy - your dc have challenges it’s clear.

Savings start happening a year or two down the line once established in a job - or maybe you get some overtime or second job - then you can start putting money aside as you’ve bought your work clothes, basic furniture etc.

Rent a room until you find a life partner, then eventually buy a place together.

It’s totally unrealistic to expect to live alone in a mortgaged property in your 20s if you don’t have a degree and a decent job.

Op youth unemployment is high which is bad but your dc do have a leg up with the £10k. They still need jobs to buy so try to focus on that rather than buying as the next hurdle.