So, how is it actually possible for our adult kids to ever move out of home?

[cateringday]

I’m imagining it’s the same for a lot of people.
two kids 20 and 18, they both actually have £10000 in the bank as an inheritance but can’t see how they would ever get enough for a deposit or pay a mortgage. If they rent then all that money will be gone anyway.

how old are kids leaving home these days

we live in the south east

Just get a job? Do you know the youth unemployment statistics currently ?

I wish mine had 10k each from inheritances, there’s no such things in my family.

I can only suggest they do what people in the north have been told to do for years: get on their bikes. That kind of money is enough, just about, for deposits in the north and midlands.

I do always think of threads like these when people say the advantage of having children young is they're grown up and independent when you're still in your 50s. It hasn't played out like that for anyone I know.

ps it’s not good for anyone.

It did for me

In fact if I hadn't had 3rd child in my 30s then I'd have had all move out and mortgage paid off by 47

I wonder about this too.

My old university is having to renovate the rooms because the students coming in won't accept sharing a room, and a common toilet/washing facility.

But the students are also upset about costs.

Tbh I find it a little hard at times to be very sympathetic.

Why do you have such little faith in your kids? Are they natural losers?

As I said one is autistic, clever but not hugely motivated. Struggled at uni.

Yes but some of that is the youth not being able or wanting to work.
Or not taking what work there is.

Apply for everything continuously until something sticks. Get some experience or volunteer, then move on to something more desired.

They might not be able to move with their first job, but at least they would be out working. The SE is much better for opportunities.

The autistic one volunteers three days a week in charity shop. Applies for ten jobs a week

It is not a case of not wanting to work

Kindly OP, I think your child could be applying for far more than 10 jobs a week, if they have nothing else they are focusing on. Assuming they are applying for the same kind of rules, surely their applications don't differ too much and therefore shouldn't take much longer than 30 mins - an hour a day. What else do they do?

I think the situation for your 20 year old who is not in education or work and is autistic/struggles socially is different and much more difficult. I think it will definitely take longer for her to be independent.

There is no reason to think your younger one won't move out and rent though. I don't think I was able to start saving for about 10 years after I moved out of home. It all went on rent, bills, going out etc. As I progressed in the workplace I got more disposable income and that's when I could start to save. Your kids already have a good amount of savings, it might not be enough for a deposit but it's not nothing.

I have just seen this post - they should have great transferrable skills for retail, is that what they are applying for?

Vokunteering three days and not much else

That is an unfair comment.
it took my DD1 four months to get her first job post grad.
that was four years ago.
Are you living under a rock?
im already getting anxious about DD2 entering the jobs market next year.

There are close to 100% mortgages available these days. In any case, If they are living at home and working, they could easily double their savings in a year and triple in a further year.

https://www.skipton.co.uk/mortgages/first-time-buyers

www.ybs.co.uk/mortgages/5k-deposit-mortgage

I am seeing clients remortgage themselves to get their kids on the ladder. Makes sense to get a flat for two of them to live in then for two kids to bit pay rent to strangers.

Did she not do what my DS did and continue working the part time jobs he had while studying until a better one came along?

Yes. But she could do much more, she’s so good with computers and programming, can’t even get job in Tesco

This point isn't made often enough, that it's completely area specific and there's a whole lot of country outside the south-east. ALL of my friends' kids (I don't have any) have bought houses in various parts of Lancs, Yorks and Manchester

I think there's a growing trend for house sharing these days among young professionals etc. My son had to move to London for his graduate job and is sharing a large flat with 5 other professionals, all have their own bedrooms, but there is a communal kitchen/sitting room and a couple of shared bathrooms. In the other flat of the same house, there are 5 professional young female graduates sharing the flat with similar communal facilities. So that's 11 professionals sharing two flats in the same large terraced house!

In his previous job in a small city, it was very similar, with most of the others on his graduate scheme being in house shares too.

It's the way it used to be going back 50 years or so - hence the "Rising Damp" programme. I think it's been a relatively recent thing (90s/00s) for young people starting out to have their own flats (whether owned or shared) that is now coming to an end for today's young workers.

So this isn’t a problem with youth in general but that your eldest is unmotivated with poor qualifications and little drive to move out?

It’s not your job to house him forever, if that’s the underlying question.

Do you mean coding? Are there any courses she could do to pad out her CV?

Well my husband and I weren't from families where we could just go home after uni. So we bought a 1 bed flat we lived in together I til our eldest was 2 and we'd been together 12 years. Then we were able to sell that and buy a 3 bed terrace with the equity as deposit. Noone said as ever in a position to gift us anything. 10k would have been a gr at start. The key is to get a job and save like crazy and put off having kids in til you're able to afford it. Which for us was late 30s