So, how is it actually possible for our adult kids to ever move out of home?

[cateringday]

I’m imagining it’s the same for a lot of people.
two kids 20 and 18, they both actually have £10000 in the bank as an inheritance but can’t see how they would ever get enough for a deposit or pay a mortgage. If they rent then all that money will be gone anyway.

how old are kids leaving home these days

we live in the south east

OP that £10k would go very far to a deposit where I live, so it’s not that young people can’t ever afford to buy a house- it’s just the inflated house prices of the SE.

I do have sympathy though, it’s tough out there!

My 26 year old son completed on a three bed in a commuter city yesterday. He works in London.
He came home for two and a half years after being away for the same length of time renting in a London house share at £1500pm. He didn't pay keep (big bone of contention) but he helped out with our house updates. He worked with my builder brother from 14 and learnt how to DIY. He bought a house untouched since the 1990s. He will be able to do the majority of the renovations. He bought it on his own. I'm very proud of him but it was time to move!
Fwiw we had a 1 bed flat which many young people won't buy.

So if they get a job, any job. They can intensely save surely. Even minimum wage if you've no housing costs just put away your entire salary.

Pocketliving properties Shared ownership. In some london boroughs a one bed council or HA wait list is under 24 months. If income is low .

Perhaps you haven’t read but she applies for every supermarket McDonald’s anything

I agree with PP. If you are in London or within easy striking distance, you will need considerably more than £10k help from family.

My DC both went to uni and live in London. I live about an hour away. Their rent (in Camberwell/Brixton flat shares , not Belgravia mansions) plus utilities takes up about half their net income. Once you add up travel, food, and other basics, there is very little left over to save, although they do try.

A one bed flat where I live costs about £250k.

DD could move north with her job but would have no friends and no family support. As she wants DC, the cost of childcare vs living near family would be significant.

DS is stuck in London unless he completely changes career and retrains.

It really is so much harder for them than it was for me and my peers. We all bought lovely Victorian terraced houses for £50 to £60k and earned around minimum wage. Those same homes would cost £400k plus now.

I’m 47 and still don’t own a house! I won’t until I inherit. I’m in the south east, had my kids young so couldn’t afford somewhere big enough.

It's achievable in areas of the UK where house prices aren't obscene. A starter flat for £135-£200k is common where I am. Not sure of the deposit required but I would imagine £10k would be enough? But I agree, SE forget it.

Grotty rooms and mouldy flats cost a bomb now, not a few hundred quid. Are you 60ish? If so, it's totally unreasonable to compare then with now as the disparity between housing costs and wages has worsened beyond all recognition.

Shared ownership was a lifeline for me in my early 20’s! I think they’re rarer to find now but £10k would go far when it’s just purchasing a % of the property. You then pay rent on the rest. Sometimes you can purchase a higher share of the flat/house too. I sold mine for a lot more than I paid for it and it was a massive help in then buying our family home!

We paid crazy rent for many years (like 1000 initially then it was 2000 by the time we were moving out into our home we bought)

I calculated that we paid over 130k in rent by the end 😫

we literally went super frugal saved 1000 a month (500 each) in a Lisa so we were getting a top up and eventually saved 30k (had 10k as a gift from wedding) we were 35 & 43 by the time we could buy though

Probably the same as me:
-live in house shares for years not in my dream area
-save lots
-have a side hustle
-buy a house that needs work, in a cheaper area
-do as much of the work ourselves

I wasn’t given any money for anything: university, house, wedding etc

Im not intending to house my children for decades while they have a protracted adolescence driving my husband and l mad. It does people good to stand on their own 2 feet

My 21 year old DD is planning to live in a cheaper area with her boyfriend when she finishes uni this summer. We are also in SE so they can't afford it around here. They should be fine on the 2 wages they will be earning in a cheaper area. She could move back here but I doubt she would want to.

DD19 is saving as much as he can and started when he first went into an apprenticeship at 16. He has 13k so far and wants to buy.

It isn't impossible but it is harder. Like most of us I assume they will have to live with others for a few years to share the costs. I did that in my late teens and early 20s too until I met DH.

I am in London. I have 1 child at university and 2 who have returned home after university. They have good jobs and live at home to save to buy. Seems very normal amongst their friends to still live at home to save up too. We have a big house so they have more space here with own bathrooms than they would have in a house-share and we also get on well. I can’t imagine living with my parents in my 20s personally 🥶

I finished uni about 13 or so years ago, grew up in the southeast as did a lot of my friends. There was no real expectation of coming back to the southeast- those without very high paying graduate jobs or family money accepted that as we’d grown up in one of the most expensive areas of the country, we’d either stay in our university cities or the closest area to our parents we could afford to rent in, which was usually a long way away.

I know things have changed and are even harder now, but the core problem is very similar. It’s just not realistic to expect to live where you grew up if that happens to be the south east unless you become a high earner or come from a very wealthy family.

It’s sad really. DH’s family have lived in the same area of London for generations, and he is the first to move away, and his parents were very upset. But I think for most, the choices are live at home for ages (if your parents will have you, mine were happy to have me back in an emergency but not just because rents were pricey) or move to a different part of the country/stay put if your university city is affordable.

Not without jobs, no. I don't think I really understand what you're asking? Without jobs they won't move out - even with jobs if you don't want them to 'waste' their money on rent the they won't move out for many years.

You moved out at 18, but don't seem to think they can?

I've never known 18-20 year olds to be getting mortgages. Never. It's never been easy to leave home.

The thing is OP, you’re catastrophising a little at this stage. It’s understandable because DC will be despondent at struggling to find work - but your DC are only 18 and 20 and currently don’t have jobs. One clearly has some additional challenges due to autism, but I think they’d both have to be very unlucky to still be in the same position in two years’ time. And then they’ll both still be very young, and can choose to stay with you to save more if they’d like to increase on their current £10K and move out straight into a mortgaged home, or to move out into a houseshare (or with a partner, if they’d have one by then.)

Their lives aren’t stifled forever with the prospect of still being in their bedrooms at home at 30 because at 18 and 20 they were just finding their feet.

Both dds are still at home.l and will be for a while unless we get a lottery win ☺️
Eldest is working ft after graduating and is paying us a small amount of board.
She owns an 8 year old car and is saving for the future - she has £20k so far.
Dd2 is in her first year at FE college, so assuming she'll be here for a while.
She'll get control of her isa at 18 like her sister - it'll have about £15k in by next year.
It's the best we could do for them.

That, and them being able to live at home for free/at very low cost.
We will help dd2 with learning to drive if she wishes.
If we ever do get a windfall, some of it will go to them.
Woman downsize to give them cash if we find somewhere worth moving to

We're in London. DS moved into rented when he was 27 with his girlfriend. He could have afforded to have left well before then, (lawyer), but was waiting for his GF to get her work placement. They're 28 and have bought a house 10 mins away from us.
Dd is 25, and will probably be moving out in the next year or so. Luckily both my dc have good jobs, so have been able to save well. I know that's not the case for everyone though.

13k saved up so far is amazing for a 19 year old! 👏🏼❤️

You say that you don't want to hear how it was yesteryear, but it's not that different to 20 odd years ago. Neither me nor my friends could have afforded a mortgage, so we went for alternatives like the bedsits/studios. Money was still really tight, and for some of us, a mortgage will never be an option.
If people were saying how it was when houses were much cheaper, jobs were better paid, and only one person needed to work, then I'd get it.

HOWEVER... having ND kids means that life is more likely to be very different for them. As bright as they may be, many will struggle with struggle with things like executive dysfunction etc. Both my sons are autistic. One severely so, and with learning disabilities, so he will always be living with me, and then in a Care home when I'm dead or incapable of care. The other, although very clever, will also struggle, but i don't doubt he is capable of holding down a job and possibly living alone when he's ready.

My brother is autistic, and in his 30s, he has spent most of his life living with our parents, give or take a few years. He is currently living with his partner. He has a job. It's not really what he wants to do, but he is comfortable with it, and they are understanding of his needs. Him moving out of home had nothing to do with money, he would have found it difficult whether he had money or not.

Thank you, that made me feel better

For the autistic kid who is good at coding- there are online courses from Coursera that give good qualifications with uni. Hard work but worth it. She should also set up a GitHub and get volunteer experience in the coding community. That could be building a website for a local charity, or help at CodeClub events or similar.

if she can build code skills and connections in that area, it can be a nice supportive space for autistic people and pays better than Tesco.

Yes, I do. Do you? Because it's actually lower now than the early 90s when I was leaving home.

And I didn't have 10k and supportive parents.