So, how is it actually possible for our adult kids to ever move out of home?

[cateringday]

I’m imagining it’s the same for a lot of people.
two kids 20 and 18, they both actually have £10000 in the bank as an inheritance but can’t see how they would ever get enough for a deposit or pay a mortgage. If they rent then all that money will be gone anyway.

how old are kids leaving home these days

we live in the south east

Why would their inheritance be gone if they rented? If they rent they do it within the means of their salary, they don’t burn through their savings. 10k is a very good head-start on a deposit, but a very meagre amount of they use it to inflate their lifestyle.

Honestly I think going back to uni would give more prospects as she would be competing against those with degrees. Yes coding, been coding since very young

Rent here is very expensive

Can they drive?
Do seasonal jobs? Golf courses will need mowing soon!
Gardening, cleaning?

Train to be a vet nurse?

Anything part time?

Can you ask locally if people need cover during holidays.

Autism can, often, has more difficulties so yes they might be with you for a while yet.

But it will happen.

How old are you though? Housing costs are much higher in proportion to earning a now

They either move out and deal with rent or they live at home and don't have to. They are massively priveleged to have the option you ealsie?

The cost of a shared house in London these days is shocking. Easily 1,500 for somewhere decent fairly central and that’s in a house with no communal space.

My boys are 18 and 19. 19 works fulltime, training to become an electrician, the other works part-time.

Both are at home and are welcome to stay as long as they want to. We dont want them wasting money on rent and prefer they save their money to add to their savings for a house deposit when they are ready.

It can be exhausting having them here, but i can happily say it has no effect on my marriage and we do spoil them! But thats why i had children.

Your child isn’t a child anymore… She needs to learn to be proactive and make decisions for herself, if she’s going to be successful.

She absolutely did.
she practically self funded herself through uni and took a zero hours contract when she came home.
but it took her four months to find a job
with pension and progression.
she’s never been work shy and while at her zero hours job she was promoted twice.

But it was never going to allow her to save to the extent her current job does.
She was never work shy

Both are learning to drive at the moment.
sorry I sound so defeatist. Just listening to my mum going on cruises every few months is annoying 😂

This has always been the case. Remember This Life? No-one had their own flats straight out of university.

Did she drop out of uni?

I think going back or doing a course would be helpful. FYI my DP is a software developer and says his company are hiring people without degrees more and more often, and in certain circumstances this is even more desirable than those who have a degree. He has a Masters himself. He has just hired someone in their early 20s as a junior dev on 70k so I don't think it is imperative that your child has a degree to enter into such roles.

What has your mums cruises got to do with it?

If she has the label “uni dropout” and is autistic she’s fighting an uphill battle against other candidates.

Remember: Two really good job applications a week are worth ten bad ones.

Has she considered relocating if she can’t compete in the job market in the SE?

there are sooo many roles in London, if op lives somewhere commutable

Your daughters are hugely privileged to have £10 apiece and a family home they can stay in indefinitely. They sound very comfortable.

If you want them to move out, give them a deadline…

My three, all 20s, are renting. It may seem like throwing away money but if you pick carefully (walk to work/station/town/gym, energy efficient property) they will be able to save. My youngest just moved, they initially thought they’d live in the rented house for a year then start to look at buying in the area. They’ve already decided to stretch this to 2-3 years as - by renting - they can control their outgoings. There’ll never be a boiler to replace, roof repairs etc. Tbf this is a couple, my other two each live on their own on the outskirts of cities with minimal travelling costs. They don’t have cars. It is a worry though.

If they rent then all that money will be gone anyway.

They surely would be better off spending their wages on rent, and saving this. it’s tough, especially if single. I rented with a friend from 23-28 then rented alone from 28-32. It was so hard to save, but I put away as much as I could, when I could. In a help to buy ISA. I don’t think I ever would’ve got there savings wise on my own. I met my boyfriend at 31 and we moved in together at 32, which allowed us both to save more as we were only paying half rent. We finally bought when I was 36. Put down a £32k deposit. He had £11k in inheritance and we saved the other £21k ourselves over years and years. Well it was probably around £18k we saves but became £21 with the top up from the ISAs we both had. At 36, I was the last of all my friends to buy a house.

This. My DCs all bought by their mid-20s in the north. DS bought his house on his own and he’s only on £30K. Though he doesn’t have much at all left over after bills and food. He’s quite happy because he’s not particularly sociable, but I’d imagine most young people wouldn’t be prepared to sacrifice holidays, nights out, gym etc for just a roof over their heads if they could remain living at home rent-free with all the trappings.

Neither of them spend any money, they are super frugal. Only buy second hand clothes etc

It's really hard for young people like this. The only thing is to keep applying, keep thinking about the kinds of jobs that might work, too, and other ways to make connections. Maybe even more volunteer work.

When there are so many candidates for each position if you are a bit awkward and don't have a ton of experience, you tend to go to the bottom of the list. I think more specialised experience and skills can help, so for computer jobs, maybe looking at getting some more certifications, or doing some related volunteer work.

Also having some references will be important, and practising things like interview skills. Interviews are horrible at the best of times, I struggle because I am shy and they really don't draw on my strengths, and it can be difficult for an employer to see then what my strengths are. And as someone who hires, it really is not that easy to bring those things out in an interview, they do favour people who are more extroverted and even bullshitters.

Are there possibilities to expand via the charity whose shop she works at? Do they have any offices locally? Could she look at doing online promotion for them? Set up and admin a local Facebook page?

Bought my first flat in 2006 for £92,250. There is a flat currently for sale on the same street for offers over £95k. We made no money on that flat but we did have somewhere to live and built up equity. It can be done, we are in the North East which I know makes a big difference.

Not wanting to be harsh but anyone in this scenario in earlier decades wouldn't be able to afford housing. Your adult child is probably in better circumstances now.