So, how is it actually possible for our adult kids to ever move out of home?

453 replies

cateringday · 24/02/2026 11:00

I’m imagining it’s the same for a lot of people.
two kids 20 and 18, they both actually have £10000 in the bank as an inheritance but can’t see how they would ever get enough for a deposit or pay a mortgage. If they rent then all that money will be gone anyway.

how old are kids leaving home these days

we live in the south east

OP posts:

gototogo · 02/03/2026 15:36

Mine have managed it, so will yours - dd1 now married, rent but have deposit saved, dd2 rents currently (military so dirt cheap) but has deposit to buy alone, dsd bought with her dp aged 24, saved up £20k by living rent free here post university

Original poster

cateringday · 02/03/2026 15:46

Dumpspirospero · 01/03/2026 04:27

Sounds like you’ve done a huge shift as a parent and need a little respite. You’re doing amazingly. Your kids are doing well. One has been working since aged 13. One is volunteering three days a week and applying for jobs. We’re at a huge crossroads in society but change, while it means uncertainty, can also mean opportunity.
I’m an employer. Most of my staff are under 25. They are great. One started with us an apprentice and is still with us. One is a graduate. One is a refugee on a 3 year visa. Two are part-time at uni. One is a full stack developer who came from Europe and we’ve just put him through a graduate apprenticeship. So there is hope. However, with the rise in employers’ costs, and the new workers’ rights bill, the risk of employing young, inexperienced workers is much higher now than it was. This government really hasn’t done young people any favours.
I have 3 kids. They all left home aged 18 (one came back for a year). This is how they did it. Oldest went to uni in a city 3 hours drive away. Worked on the fish counter of a supermarket- job nobody else wanted. It got her so many opportunities. She did a fishmongering course, she did a butchery course. She did extracurricular Mandarin at uni -basically took every opportunity that came her way to gain experience. She persuaded her employer (basically badgered HR in central office) to facilitate a summer placement with a partner supermarket in China. It was a very loose arrangement. There was no pay and no visa. She had to organise this. She saved to fund it. It hadn’t been done before so she had to make it up. She was absolutely clueless. But it was the biggest adventure and gave her lots of life skills. She was petrified but it made her feel she could do anything. When she graduated and applied for a graduate training job, she stood out. Got the job. Is thriving and has worked her way into a management position. She bought her little house 5 years ago with a 95% mortgage and a bit of help from us.
Number 2 scraped a science degree at a good uni. Came home. Worked in a dead end job for a year. Lived at home. Saved. Took himself off to Australia. Knew no one. Lived in hostels. Got casual jobs. Now working for a company that gave him one of the casual jobs. Rents with his girlfriend. Is on a good salary. Loves the outdoor lifestyle. He is now sponsored by the company and is going for permanent residency. Again he had to make it up as he went on.
Youngest was a uni in covid. Rubbish time. Hooked up with five girls from school. Worked shifts in a conference centre and then Covid vaccine centre. They all rented together and are v close. They all still support each other and various combinations of friends have lived together in various cities ever since. Youngest DC did a vocational training after her degree. Four years of pretty stressful exams plus long hours in the job but she’s now qualified, in a profession and renting with her boyfriend.
They’ve all been super lucky and I know it’s not the same for everyone but they all worked hard from a young age in multiple low paid jobs that were not glamorous or sought after. That says a lot about motivation to any future employer. They are all paying off student loans. Rent is sometimes more than half their salary. But gradually they are earning more.
It sounds like your youngest will launch from uni. I’d recommend living away from home if s/he can. It will really help with budgeting, sharing, taking responsibility for him/herself. Plus it’s a lot of fun.
I’d persuade the oldest to look at learning how to deploy AI as she’s been coding from a young age. Coding jobs are going. AI is here to stay. There is a lot of rubbish talked about AI but it is a great productivity tool. The more she learns about this, the more employable she will be. Look at some of the free courses online from MIT etc. contact local employers and ask what experience she would need to get paid employment in this area. I’ve taken on employees who have submitted their C.V. on spec and have asked for it to be kept on file. So do that too.
As I’ve said before, AI won’t take your job. Somebody who knows how to deploy AI effectively will take your job.
I’d also suggest looking at the kind of jobs others often resist such as - care home jobs. These can be fulfilling, rewarding and teach great life skills. Plus, unlike volunteering in a charity shop, they pay.
Just hang in there for a couple more years and do everything you can to build their independence. Good luck.

Thank you so much for taking the time to post this, lots to think about

OP posts:

AbbyEidyn · 04/03/2026 06:09

The lack of affordability of housing for younger generations has been deliberately created by us, the older home-owning generation. Every time we object to new housing - for the usual NIMBY reasons - we take away housing supply and conveniently increase the value of our pension.. er.. house.

There is a reason London area house price to income ratio has gone from 4:1 to 10:1.

Each time I see the Nat West ad showing a young person with Mom and Dad behind, I cringe. They are saying "good luck getting an affordable home unless you've a bank of mum and dad".

Affordable housing shouldn't depend on which family you are born into.

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