If you had kids young and were judged for it how do you feel seeing the current trendy opinion has switched to praising young motherhood?

[Rosyfish]

Less than ten years ago I had my child at 16 and was judged harshly by pretty much everyone, everywhere I went stared at and occasionally straight up insulted for years.

Now it seems the same type of people judging me then are online moaning about the current generation leaving motherhood too late. Every other month there’s a piece on the news about low fertility rates and Gen Z’s not growing up.

In under a decade! The current zeitgeist has changed so much, anyone else feel a little vindicated?

I haven’t observed a zeitgeist either way in favour of younger/older motherhood. Everyone likes to criticise mothers no matter the age.

Edited to add: I felt judged as “older” having my first at 32. I think it depends on geographical area.

It's not swung quite that far over. People are definitely not advocating for teen pregnancy, as a solution for low fertility rates.

Can’t win can you, 28-32 is supposed to be bang average and still get judged!

I can't imagine how judged you must have felt, as it was bad enough for me in my early twenties. I don't think the world is getting less judgmental though.

My perception is that it's being called a fertility crisis now which isn't really the case. It's more to do with society than fertility so seems an odd way to frame it.

No, they want mothers to be young and completely self-sufficient as in not a burden on the state.
Who’s supposed to be supporting them, financially and otherwise, or how they’re meant to be able to support themselves is anyone’s guess.

Nobody’s praising 16yos getting pregnant now either.

You can't win either way. You probably will get judged for being 16. Ironically though sometimes those young mums then say they wouldn't be seen dead having a child after 30. 🤷

I'm 22 and a mother. My husband and my job support me.

Why would anyone be advocating for people to have children before they've finished their education?

Do you mean the few right wing commentators who are advocating for women to have kids and stay out of the workplace ?
Not sure even they mean as young as 16.

I don’t think anyone in their right mind thinks 16 is an ideal time to have children, not sure what you feel vindicated over.

The “fertility rate” is related to births vs number of women, it’s not always a negative and doesn’t account for choice.

It's not about praising anything, it's about controlling and judging women.

British women (and I am one) are just judgemental no matter what the age.

They snipe at people who have managed to become self-sufficient or wealthy enough to make the choice younger, and therefore have more children than them.

They snipe at people who aren't wealthy but who had relationships younger than their professional middle class myopic view.

They snipe at older mothers who somehow managed to have children later on in life, claiming that they're "risking their child's health"

You cannot win. If you even have your child at 31, or 29, or god knows when..... someone will come along to say "nah, that's too late".

Not as young as 16, but 18-25 there are definitely a lot of people moaning that that age group aren’t having kids like they did in previous generations. Ironic because that generation were told not to have children until they’ve gone to university and lived a little now people are moaning because Gen Z listened?

ha snap, we posted at the same time.

I cannot STAND it. We should stop judging women!

The types of men preaching women having babies young aren’t the types who would have made good dads at that age. They forget that a child ideally needs a mum and dad in their life.

These men would happily have a baby with a 16 year old girl but they wouldn’t advocate a 16 year old boy to make that choice.

I had my first as a late teen (was married) and felt very conscious about it as it was not a norm in my family at all. I'm very glad I didn't leave it until late 30s, but there's a vast gap between having a baby at 16 and 40. The current Zeitgeist certainly is not in favour of teen pregnancies as far as I've seen.

That’s extremely unusual where I’m from.
My point is most young women in that position would miss out on higher education, have relatively limited job opportunities, need parental support etc. I doubt most 22 year olds would feel they’d met the right person or want to be committed like that either.

No one thinks that someone who has barely left childhood themselves should be having a baby/

It's come from reform wanting young mothers barefoot and in the kitchen.

(What is the obsession with Trumps hangers on with young girls)?

No, not saying it's for everyone. Just saying that it's possible to be young parents and not be reliant on benefits or parental support.

I don't feel I'm missing out on anything either. I'm very happy with my choices.

I think the zeitgeist always has been and always will be that women get judged for whatever they do. Especially when they become mothers.

Most first time mothers I meet now are in their late 30s and early 40s. I do think having kids earlier can be easier, physically and mentally, but would go with mid 20s, not teenagers!

I feel vindicated because of all the shit I got when I was pregnant and for the first three years of my child’s life, went into lockdown came out and now it’s rare for anyone to say anything anymore. Which probably would of happened anyway just because my child’s older but going by social media posts it seems people have moved on from picking on young mums and the current thing is to moan about women leaving it too late. Vindicated might be the wrong word though

It’s possible on an individual basis, not on a societal level.