If you had kids young and were judged for it how do you feel seeing the current trendy opinion has switched to praising young motherhood?

[Rosyfish]

Less than ten years ago I had my child at 16 and was judged harshly by pretty much everyone, everywhere I went stared at and occasionally straight up insulted for years.

Now it seems the same type of people judging me then are online moaning about the current generation leaving motherhood too late. Every other month there’s a piece on the news about low fertility rates and Gen Z’s not growing up.

In under a decade! The current zeitgeist has changed so much, anyone else feel a little vindicated?

The big difference is you said women are judging women... I disagree. The main pressure comes from powerful men. It may not feel that way, but it does. A low birth rate can affect the economy, hence rich men start caring. Otherwise, that's women's work.

Everything you are or do will always be wrong. Grew up in poverty got judged . Now rich get judged. Judged for being too thin and too fat. Don’t have children judged. Have one child, judged. Too many children, judged. SAHM judged. Working Mum judged.

This.

OP stop listening to sexist nonsense whoever is spouting it.

You really shouldn’t feel vindicated by this. As pp said, this is not about praising women. It’s about eroding our rights back to where they were decades ago.

I mean the general perception that having a baby at 16 being stupid hasn’t changed, not sure why you think it has.
Would I be horrible to anyone for getting pregnant at 16? No, however that doesn’t mean anyone needs to pretend it’s a sound choice in probably 98% of circumstances.

Ahem, I’d just like to make it known that I am the darling of the Daily Mail in this scenario. I had my first dc at 23 and I’m Master’s educated, own my own home, am still happily married to their father, have a great career and have never claimed benefits in my life. If any of you feckless teenage mums or dried up old husks would like any tips on how to be me or you just fancy helping to polish my halo then feel free to dm me. Until next week when I’ll probably be responsible for all the evils in the world again for an equally ambiguous reason mostly out of my control.

I absolutely agree with this. And these men don't really care in many cases. They just think that birth rate fears are part of a wider narrative they can spin to appeal to particular sections of the electorate. None of them are introducing policies that might actually make it easier for women to have children younger, like longer and better paid maternity periods, or more social housing for families, or affordable child care. Or trying to create a more sustainable planet with a fairer labour market so young people feel like populating the planet for another generation is worth it.

Had my first ( un planned) at almost 24 It was young but turned out great. Lots of time to have a career and enjoy middle age with adult kids.

I think there are “young mothers” and “young mothers”. Quite apart fron the health risks, the number of solvent 16 year olds able to provide a stable upbringing to a child is vanishingly small. Pretty much all of the ones I know have brought the child into a chaotic situation and the outcomes have been poor. You may have been an outlier OP.

A woman in her mid twenties who has completed her education, is in a stable relationship and where the family unit is earning enough to house and support the child without expecting taxpayers to pick up the tab is another story.

Congratulations 🫤

Haha snap except have good a levels but no masters degree , I did in work training and moved up anyway !

I’m not telling anyone to live their life like me agree most aren’t mature enough to make it work that young, I did though and had no parental help and yes I’m still with the father and he’s the same age as me and we both have jobs. I’m just observing a change in public opinion I’ve noticed

I haven't heard of any swing towards praising teenage mums. I know more women are choosing to have children later, I know more people are choosing not to have children or to have one child, and that there has sometimes been some rhetoric against that. The whole hideous fascist thing around tradwives (it's giving strong Nazi kinder, kuche, kirshe vibes) is more about controlling women and removing self determinism from women than about praising teenage pregnancies. I was in my mid 20s when I had my first but I'd been to uni, started my career, had a mortgage. It was lonely in a way because my friends mostly had theirs in their late 30s/early 40s but I'm happy with the life we have and think we've done a good job raising some bright, ambitious, lovely and well adjusted teenagers. I personally liked that my parents were in their early 50s so were really hands on with young grandkids compared to being in their 70s. But I also know there were and are huge reasons for friends having their first or only children later. Diabetes, cancer, domestic violence, fertility issues, job insecurity, miscarriages, baby loss, mental health, wanting to be financially secure, all sorts of things.

So while I do recognise some of what you say, I've seen absolutely nothing in support of 16 year olds having babies and still see 26 year olds having babies as outliers. We were asked in our early/mid 20s if our babies were accidents because we were young. Wild. I've got 2 children older than 16 now and I want them to be concentrating on their A levels and jobs and driving and training and careers and friendships now and save the parenting for later.

You genuinely think there’s a change in public opinion in terms of how advisable teenage pregnancy is?

I think there are a lot less teen mums then there were ten years ago so the general public moan about them less because they’re less visible as a group . Anyone that was a teen mum pre 2020 will know what I mean the judging was harsh

Doesn’t that just literally fall in line with the falling birth rate argument? Women are having less children overall, at all ages. I’m still confused as to why that makes you feel vindicated?

No one is praising 16 year olds having babies. Right wing misogynists are trying to blame a lot of social problems on women having babies later and not having lots of them when they finally get around to breeding. Those same people will still criticise teenage mothers as feckless benefit scroungers so don’t get your hopes up.

Yep, you can't win at any age. They'll be judgement from someone

Because I’m seeing the types of people who judged young mums the harshest less than a decade ago are now praising young motherhood (although maybe not as young as 16 but definitely 18-25 when they used to moan about all teen mums)
Vindicated probably isn’t the right word but I’ve just noticed they’ve completely changed their tune

You mean those crazy trad wife people that want to trap women with no education and no ability to support their children? The same people that want to take away women’s right to vote?

Don't be ridiculous. Very few people under 25, let alone 18 and under, are in a position to have a child. Nobody sane is actively advocating for teenagers to be having children.

This doesn't make you personally a bad mother, there are always exceptions, but in the main, the vast majority of people of your age would not have the maturity or the money to take responsibility for a child.

Only the insane extreme conservative religious right wing in America seem to be praising young motherhood, they generally felt the same 10 years ago. They are generally pro birth, anti pro-family policies.

Some people are just moany and judgemental. If it's not one thing, it's something else. Just live your life

You get judged if you’re young, old, have one child, have four children, work, don’t work, feeding choices. I’d like to say it’s just by men who have no experience of childbirth, but sadly it isn’t. Personally I think we need to be more united and supportive to other women. We all know how hard it is, and that there is no perfect time/number/feeding choice - it’s completely down to people’s circumstances. I’m fed up with ‘politicians’ sticking their oar in to women’s reproductive choices because they can’t fathom economics and/or are scared of immigrants.

It’s by isolating out the things that you personally agree with/ feel vindicated by and ignoring the rest of their horrible policies that leads people to go out and vote for these incompetent arseholes.