If you had kids young and were judged for it how do you feel seeing the current trendy opinion has switched to praising young motherhood?

[Rosyfish]

Less than ten years ago I had my child at 16 and was judged harshly by pretty much everyone, everywhere I went stared at and occasionally straight up insulted for years.

Now it seems the same type of people judging me then are online moaning about the current generation leaving motherhood too late. Every other month there’s a piece on the news about low fertility rates and Gen Z’s not growing up.

In under a decade! The current zeitgeist has changed so much, anyone else feel a little vindicated?

I did a little research to find examples of what I mean, 15 years ago we had little Britain apparently Vicky pollard was meant to be a typical teen mum, news to me I watched it when I was a kid and thought the joke was every character was either gay or a man in drag. And David Cameron apparently backed a “war on young mothers” https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/conservative-forty-group-wants-teenage-2055657

You don’t really see or hear stuff like this these days the focus is on people who leave having kids till later in life or don’t have kids at all. They told a generation their 20s were meant for studying and having fun and now they’re moaning because most of Gen Z listened

I think where this isn't uncommon the girls were very unlikely to pursue further or higher education in the first place. Deprived areas, low educational attainment, much higher levels of unemployment.

You don’t hear much about it because teenage pregnancies have fallen off a cliff. Between the late 90s and 2022 rates of teen pregnancy fell by 70%.
Hardly any teenagers are having babies these days, it’s not that anyone thinks it’s become any more advisable.

No one is really moaning that 20 year olds aren’t having kids either.
Some right wing ultra conservative men resent the fact that women control their own lives and choose not to have many or any children. Even then it’s hardly an opinion most people put any value on.

There are no policies or strategies to do anything regarding the birth rate in the UK, it’s not an issue in the real world.

If you get your information from FB rants and trash media you will have a skewed view.

This isn’t directed to you specifically:

But I find this kind of mindset pretty distasteful. You have no idea how that 15/16 year old is pregnant or what their life circumstances and vulnerabilities are.

Are we not all following the Epstein files? Does anyone call those girls and young women stupid? In any other situation, you’d refer to teenage girls under 18 as children/minors.

I just abhor this mentality, it holds girls back and tells that them that their life is over; don’t bother aspiring to anything other than a life on benefits and everyone will judge you.

A few people mentioned I was too young when I had DD1 at 23, a couple of those also raised eyebrows when I had DD2 at 40. Some people will always have an (unwanted) opinion!

I’m really not sure what point you are making, I haven’t once said a teenage mother is stupid.
Why would I be calling a trafficked girl in the Epstein files stupid either? What’s the relevance?

OP is suggesting the tone has changed and the general attitude is that very young motherhood is desirable and pushed as an agenda nowadays, hence her feeling vindicated as a girl who got pregnant at 15. This is simply not true and pretty much no one is suggesting it is ever advisable to aim for teenage pregnancy. Why would you have an issue with that pov? Are you suggesting it is actually something teenage girls should aim for?

You said society’s attitude to a pregnant teenager that she’s is stupid. I’m saying that attitude is wrong for the reasons in my comment. I thought that was fairly obvious from the post.

The first sentence specified I wasn’t directing this to you personally, so it didn’t really require a response anyway.

I’m sorry you felt judged, but I don’t think anyone in their right mind is or should be normalising teenagers having babies.

I don't know where you're hearing these opinions, but I've certainly never heard anyone advocating that women should have children very young, and I don't think the conversation around either teenage or geriatric motherhood has changed much since I had my children over 20 years ago.

And yet you quoted me… odd.

The general view is that teenage pregnancy is stupid, it completely stunts a young girls option, educational attainment and financial power over her lifetime. I’m not sure why you would argue any of those things are incorrect. Some girls with fortunate family circumstances will not have their lives ruined by having a baby while still at school, many will not have a family able to provide financially for a grandchild child or support with childcare.
No one with any sense thinks a 15 year getting pregnant is advisable.

When I was about 16/17 I was walking with my child and this grown man was yelling at me that I was a slag, a waste of space on benefits and my child would grow up to be a criminal. I stumbled upon his facebook page a couple of years ago (live in the same town which has a Facebook group he posted on) scrolled through his profile and it’s full of stuff about woman leaving motherhood too late being an empty egg cartoon and how we should all have children when we are young.
How strange is that when less than 10 years ago he was yelling abuse at young mums

Very strange. Unbelievable, really.

No one is suggesting children having babies is a good thing. Theres is talk about leaving too late ie 40. But there are many years between 16 and 40 OP.

And let us not forget that the outcomes for the children of girls who get pregnant at 15 are also usually very poor.
There are a few outliers - usually where the grandparents step in and raise the child on behalf of the mother. Often this is something they feel forced into doing. But an uneducated, unemployed, teenage mother living in precarious accommodation on state benefits usually spells disaster for all concerned.

Ok, since you don’t seem to be getting it:

You don’t know if a 15/16 year old got pregnant consensually. You have no idea if that girl has been allowed to access a termination, given they are dependent on their parents at that age. You have no idea what traumas and vulnerabilities they may have.

I think it’s nasty for a woman old enough to be their mother to be calling them stupid. Very few girls that age want to get pregnant, so it achieves absolutely nothing other than ostracising and disempowering. It reaps the negative outcomes you claim not to want.

The attitude we had historically to young, unmarried mothers achieved nothing other than ruining lives. It’s amazing how despite living in more accepting times teenage pregnancies are lowering year-on-year. It’s almost like we don’t need to humiliate and shame girls who are already pregnant to prevent teenage pregnancy.

In the same way we don’t blame Epstein’s victims for being stupid, we don’t blame young girls who find themselves pregnant either. Or at least I don’t, but apparently not all of us.

The fact that you’re arguing with me is a bit bizarre. I don’t think it’s right for women to call vulnerable girl stupid, it’s amazing that that is a controversial opinion.

What are you having trouble believing? That a random man was yelling shit at me or that he now posts stuff online about childless women and women who have kids late in life? Lucky you you’ve never had a stranger start yelling at you so can’t believe it happens or you’ve never come across posts like this one online:
https://x.com/NEETOCRACY/status/1897494469198668176

There are many such posts not sure what you find unbelievable

my Parents haven’t helped raise my child, I went to college with a nursery when I was 17. Educated to a level level just like 50% of the country. My child is top of the class, sporty, happy, sociable. Yes I was on benefits for a little bit just like millions of older mothers are. Anyway I’m not advising anyone else to do it. My post wasn’t even just about teenage parenthood but also having children in your early or even mid 20s, the younger generation were told that was for studying and travelling the world and now Gen Z listened people are moaning Gen Z aren’t having children

Who are these people moaning ? They should mind their own business . I certainly woudnt have wanted to spend my youth raising children before I had a chance to experience the world myself . I don’t care what’s “trendy”

No one is doing this!
Gen Z accounts for people currently aged between 14 and 29, literally no one with any sense is moaning that they aren’t having children. Some random man on Facebook who refers to 40 year old women as “empty egg cartons” should hardly be held up as a spokesperson for wider society.

Do you understand what NEET refers to?
You’re linking a twitter account which promotes young people having no education or job via a serious of constant and shitty memes. It’s not news, it’s not a serious platform.
An unemployed red pill incel shitting on a 30 year old female manager for not having children? Oh let’s all take notes!

I see this at my children’s school, have children young, don’t work and then they get to their mid/late 30s with no pram to push around but no desire to get a job.

I don’t think the pendulum has swung so far that having a baby at 16 is seen as a good thing now. I think the same people who judged you then would still judge you now (and even those who don’t judge would still not see it as a good thing for you).

The young motherhood being praised online is usually mid twenties, in my experience. I think that’s very America-focused though where it’s linked to religion and politics, and not really a thing among the British people I know.

That’s just the first one I found when I put empty egg carton into x, you can find millions of similar posts though. Elon musk world’s richest man regularly says people should have kids younger and there was a thread on here the other day about politicians saying people should have kids younger. Polar opposite of what they said ten years ago!

I haven't noticed a shift in any zeitgeist towards mothers of a particular age, be it young or older. Rather it seems mothers of ANY age are liable to be criticised for age/stage in life they chose to have children.

I think it'll be a cold day in hell before people praise women for beginning the parenting journey at age 16.

Elon has 14 children by a slew of mothers. Nobody is looking at him as the playbook on parenthood.

When I was 13 I was outside my block with a friend who was minding her little brother, who was about 2. This old man started muttering as he walked past that she was a slag yadda yadda yadda. We were in shock. So yes, I fully believe there are idiots out there who come out with this sort of shit.
I had my kid at 43. Didn´t leave it on purpose, just met my husband late in life. Have had to learn not to give a shit what anyone thinks, you should do the same.