If you had kids young and were judged for it how do you feel seeing the current trendy opinion has switched to praising young motherhood?

[Rosyfish]

Less than ten years ago I had my child at 16 and was judged harshly by pretty much everyone, everywhere I went stared at and occasionally straight up insulted for years.

Now it seems the same type of people judging me then are online moaning about the current generation leaving motherhood too late. Every other month there’s a piece on the news about low fertility rates and Gen Z’s not growing up.

In under a decade! The current zeitgeist has changed so much, anyone else feel a little vindicated?

I've seen nothing advocating teen pregnancy

Has it? I haven’t noticed. Clearly not on mumsnet.

Why would you go onto X and search “empty egg carton” in the first place?! Let alone try to use what you found as some sort of basis for your argument.

There are all sorts of gross corners of the internet, I’m not sure how that justifies your initial point.

the poster I was replying to had said she found it unbelievable that anyone was posting such stuff so I went and found an example, either that or she meant it was unbelievable that a random man was shouting at me.
Either way I’m not sure how either of those are “unbelievable”

I certainly do not think people are advocating for teen pregnancy and if people are judging, they’re probably saying to have kids in your 20’s not whilst you’re still in school/college

That being said, you are right that you will get judged either way. I’m sorry you had a lot of stick when you had your baby at 16. And I agree, on the opposite end of the spectrum you get stick for being too old.

My parents had their children in their 30s when they had finished paying off their first mortgage of £3k and were homeowners so could afford to live on one wage, mum was a receptionist and dad a factory worker so they were not high earners but we still had a lovely upbringing in a well respected area with nice holidays and a comfortable standard of living.

Dad took early retirement with his savings in his 50s and mum had never gone back to work and got her pension at 60.
They spend their retirement enjoying several cruises a year when they weren’t away in their motor home.
They always had brand new cars and they were very comfortable, eating in nice restaurants, nice clothes and a boat, money was just there after starting with a 3K mortgage on their first home and ending up now with a 4 bed house in the SW worth over half a million with lots of savings all on a factory worker wage with a sahm and 3 children and not a single benefit in sight.

Dad will be 96 this year and if he lives to 100 he will have been retired for half of his life and what a life they had and mum hardly worked at all. Neither went to uni or college, had no qualifications and Dad did very poorly at school.

You just can’t do that now, especially younger generations who work longer and longer hours and still can’t make ends meet without benefits to top up their wage with no retirement in sight.
Where is the enjoyment in life, the living, it’s all just stress, stress, stress.
One thing that strikes me from my parents era is that they were much happier and less stressed, even work wasn’t stressful, it was much more relaxed and friendly without the work politics and pushing each other down to get ahead, Dad worked 8 hours 8-4 then came home and enjoyed barbecues in the garden.

People were just a lot more pleasant and respectful to each other because a good life was achievable.
We are headed for generations of stressed and burnt out people with no homes, no hope, just working to the ground to stay alive with out even the joy of retirement to work towards because they keep moving the goalpost and the government have the cheek to tell us we need an attitude change to hard work, rather than work/life balance.

@goz

I was just reading something about the current low birth rate and in the comments there were many talking about women these days being too materialistic and focused on careers and higher education. Leaving it too late and being lucky to have one child etc

I can’t help thinking these goons were probably moaning about “stupid” young women having children instead of focusing on their careers and higher education just ten years ago.

I think this explains what I’m getting at better?

I would say it is more likely that the spiteful whingers online have a fairly narrow view of what parenting should look like and they take potshots anyone who falls outside of that (including outside the min/max age range).

The Daily Mail has been going on about both teen pregnancy and women's ageing eggs for as long as I (40s) can remember.

Also, most people have a view on the age range within which people 'should' reproduce, but most of us just don't feel the need to go on about it on social media.

I don't think teenage pregnancy has become praised anywhere?

Not teenage pregnancy so much more early 20s, I only mentioned being 16 because that’s how old I was and how much shit I got for it although I don’t see the sort of anti teen mum stuff I saw ten years ago in the media. But there’s definitely people praising early twenties parenthood and moaning about women with careers when ten years ago they were moaning about women who valued motherhood over careers.

It's not a swing in public opinion. It's a sociopolitical move to get middle aged white men 19 year old wives, knocking out the white babies and cleaning the house wearing pink leggings and a crop top.

It's trying to change young women's - teenaged girls' - sexual behaviour in a way that benefits middleaged men.

Thanks
I was 19 when I had my child and believe that to be too young.
I didn't have parents (sadly).
With sheer determination and hard graft, I completed my professional training and have always worked full time ( and more) to support myself and my child.
I agree that there is alot of negative prejudice and stereotyping of young single parenthood and I have been on the receiving end of that too.
In reality, there are significant numbers of single parent who fulfil the stereotype.
Parenting is hard, let's not make it any harder, irrespective of age and circumstances

Misogyny ensures women can’t do anything right. We’ll always be too young or too old.

the child I had at 16 is 32 now and I was judged very harshly too, but I still think a 16yr old would be judged today. Whilst society thinks late 30’s is too late, they probably still think teens is too early. Biology would support teen motherhood though, optimal time and of all 3 of my kids, I found him the easiest (I was 27 and 31 when I had 2 and 3, 3 is nearly 18 and thank God as i’m exhausted)!

I don't see any 'trendy' attitude to young motherhood. I do see right wingers trying to push women towards it whether they want it or not.

NB, I don't think there's anything wrong with young motherhood inherently, but I don't like the way some on the political Right enshrine it as 'the right thing' for all women to do. I think the ulterior motive with that group is to scare women that they will be 'too old' or infertile to have a baby or get a man if they wait too long, in the hope that dodgy, lazy older men can entrap young women with less life experience into being their tradwives. I mean, it won't work, most women know they don't want to be a mother to children and a man who expects her to do everything domestic

This is very true!

(Although personally I would like my own DCs to not have kids until well into adulthood & they’ve made the most of being young, free & single!)

It's about controlling women and making white babies aka racism. Many men now feel displaced when women out earn them, dont have to settle for a twat and even decide they dont need a man in any form! Locking women out of education benefits them (obvs you can go to uni with a baby but it's harder)

None of these idiots online are hoping nobody white women listen though.

Good point OP. Glad things worked out for you. I feel any focus or criticism should be directed at the fathers of the babies carried by these teenage mothers. Where are they? Are they supporting their children and the mothers emotionally and financially? If not, why not? How did they come to act so irresponsibly? It’s easy enough to prevent a pregnancy as a man, (or boy), why not be more proactive here?