Ok to let three year old daughter wear a play dress outside of home?

[Mothalina]

I'm lucky to have an incredibly well behaved, polite and fun 3-year-old daughter. (I'm under no delusion this will always be the case!) Recently she was passed on a second hand 'fairy' type pink dress, that I usually let her wear over other clothes when she asks. She wants to start ballet soon and likes twirling around in it. This Sunday we were about to go out to a pub lunch (nothing booked, we were just going to see what we could get) and my husband made a big deal about her taking it off before we went out. He carried her upstairs and forced it off her. She was incredibly upset and sobbed for ages after while I calmed her down. I told him she's three, it's a weekend and there is no harm in letting her wear it. It's not an expensive dress, she usually wears it a bit and then wants to take it off. To me it doesn't seem like something important enough to cause a major upset. She is a sensitive/empathetic child and brought it up again with her daddy later in the day - she didn't understand why he was unkind. He didn't give any solid reasons behind why he is so against her wearing this out. I'm strict about other things but this doesn't seem like something to upset her about. AIBU? Or am I missing something? Would like to hear others take on this situation.

It seems harmless unless she would get upset if she spilt food or drink on it.

He was mean, and idiot and it is embarrassing he seems to care what strangers think of him letting his daughter go out like that than her enjoyment. My two were taken to A&E once while still in dressing up clothes. It just made people smile.

Have it out with him. Lots of little ones enjoy wearing their dressing ip
clothes out of the house as well as at home. He’s really going to need to learn to pick his battles. It would have been so easy to let her wear it.

I remember when DD was 3 and I bought her a unicorn onesie. I had to buy a second one to get the first one off her to wash it she loved it so much. She wore it to our local museum when we went there for the afternoon. Nobody batted an eyelid. I can't see the harm in them wearing dress up clothes out and about.

Absolutely no reason why she shouldn't have worn it.

Totally fine! I often have a mini Spiderman with me when I pop to the shops!

My DD lived in fairy and princess dresses for about 3 years. It did her no harm! He needs to let her begin to express her individuality and understand she is her own person and it doesn't reflect on him.

Omg what a meanie my lot love wearing clothes like this.

This sounds like something my DH would have done. He's very concious of 'what people think'. I let DD wear a nappy on her head on the school run as she really didn't want to take it off (it was clean!) and she was going through a 'wearing hats' phase at about 2yo. I thought she looked cute and funny but DH was appalled. She often wore dressing up out as she was permanent in dressing up outfits. It's great for imagination and expressiveness and genealogy those fabrics wash very easily. I would ask your DH what he thought was wrong with it. If it's 'what would people think' then tell him he's no longer a teenager and the benefits for DD are greater than his mild discomfort.

That’s horrible of him. Really mean. I can’t understand why anyone would do that to a three year old.

My dd had a Robin Hood outfit at that age that she got for Christmas - it was a version that was a dress and she could wear it with green tights. After wearing it for three days straight, we told her she had to put some trousers on as we were going to be outdoors (so the the tights wouldn’t be warm enough). She went off and put a pair of jeans on and then her tights over the top! 😂

Your husband was a dick. God knows what he'd make of us; We've gone out for lunch with one dressed as pj masks and the other in an oodie 🤣

That's totally normal 3 yo behaviour and I don't understand why your DH was bothered!

As long as they have comfortable footwear and are roughly weather appropriate, I don't really mind what my DC wear. Sunglasses in December, deliberately backwards dresses, odd socks are all relatively recent outfit choices here. I'll probably feel differently when they are teenagers in skimpy clothing though!

Hes an arsehole and owes her an apology.

I would have challenged him aggressively on this.

If its weather appropriate my kids wear what they like.
Why does he get to control the clothes on her body when there is no negative impact to herself or others?

She is a sensitive/empathetic child

Sorry no. She's a totally normal child, with a total normal response.
You'd be bewildered and upset and asking why? if your husband forced you upstairs aggressively and forcibly demanded you changed your clothes too.

My children were "in character" from 2 to 5 pretty much.

What a very silly man.

He a wanker ….that was a really shitty thing for him to do….she will remember that …..my eldest was a wise man in his nativity in welly boots cos he wouldn’t take them off….my DD flew to Australia at age 4 in a Disney dress up dress ….why the fuck would he be such an arsehole

I must admit i didn’t allow it but because i learned the hard way, they don’t wash well and ketchup stains! Think bits of sequin in the washer too.

I love to see little girls in their princess dresses round Tesco over their ordinary clothes and especially accessorised with sparkly wellies! So cute ☺️ also saw a little boy dressed as Harry Potter around the town with his dad today - absolutely brilliant. Your DH is a knob. Please show him this thread. He might learn.

I love seeing little people in the clothes they choose; it cheers me up enormously. Good for her and for you xx

Ask your husband what his issue was. My kids used to go out in their dressing up outfits all the time. Nobody cares what a 3yr old is wearing, as long as they are cared for.

Oh god this is absolutely fine, your husband was being ridiculous and mean!

Yanbu, he was being overly strict with her.

This could be a good time tor you to both to assess the things you are strict about. Often we parent the way we were parented and are strict on the same things. Time for him to think about what kind of parent he wants to be and you can benefit from this too by looking at what you are strict about. She is 3, you can rip up the script your parents wrote for you and be your own kind of parents.

I love seeing kids in dress up, especially little princess or fairies when worn with wellies and over a batman sweatshirt like the little girl i saw in the supermarket last week, holding her daddy's hand. Your dh was a dick.

My son was Peter Pan, in full dress-up, every day, for pretty much his whole fourth year. Has your husband never seen a kid in a princess dress or Spider-Man outfit in the supermarket?! He needs to open his eyes!

Yes mine too!

DD lived as Robin Hood and then as a pirate.

DS lived as a variety of super heroes - notably Batman and later Thor.

This didn’t mean that they didn’t intersperse it with different costumes though. I have taken DS out in a dress for meals at that age, never mind DD (but also DD - notably a very large princess dress in her case). We also had combinations like pirates in dresses.