Son won't move out!

[OneGreenPoster]

My son broke up with his gf in December (I posted here about it) he moved in with us. He keeps saying he'll find somewhere soon
But he isn't even looking, he has a good job and savings so can easily afford it

How long is reasonable until we tell him he has to go?

He could however get off the fucking sofa, have some respect for his parents and use the spare room today if he really wanted to.

The fact he hasn't really is the issue here, not so much the moving home bit.

The parents could have said no to him moving back considering the OP said in her other posts him moving back in wasn't an option

Some families are happy not to charge their adult kids rent

He didn't cheat. She wanted to get married and he hadn't proposed

Presumably the OP is not happy with the situation or she wouldn’t be posting on here!
Maybe not paying anything isn’t the specific reason why she’s fed up but it may be a combination of things, and dictating that you want to sleep on the sofa along with playing video games all day when not working is clearing irritating the OP

No she's not but she made it clear that him moving in with them wasnt an option when he split with his ex - and he moved in - it's pretty obvious this wasn't going to go smoothly

I can’t believe hes not found anywhere else! You need to tell him he has till end of March to find somewhere and stick to your guns. You can’t have him living on your sofa.

Ah yes I read the bit where she said if he isn't working he plays games all day and thought he didn't work. Apologies!!

I'm personally dreading the day my son leaves home - my heart will break!

If I were you, I would get a bed for the spare room - odd that you don't have a spare bed anyway, but get one and then tell him that he must use it. I wouldn't like my son sleeping on the sofa but that would be so that he could get some quality sleep rather than anything else.

I'd imagine having him sleeping on the sofa is annoying and inconvenient. I'd get a bed and install it in the spare room and give him an ultimatum: he moves in there, or he leaves.

Exactly! Hope there are good nursing homes around...

Said like that isn’t in fact the better option.

I don't really like posts like this tbh. The suggestion that because of this the son should be looking for a nursing home when they get older. People should have the right to choose if they go into a home if they are still capable of living on their own. My gran lived in her own home till she died at 86 and my mum is almost 77 and the last thing I'm thinking of is her going into a home.

It would help if the OP actually said why her and husband don't want their son around

How are you getting on @OneGreenPoster? You’ve come under fire a bit on this thread

Post yesterday at 12:17 from PurpleVine at the bottom of p6 should give you more insight

Yeah I saw that thread at the time but the OP made it clear that him moving home was not an option so I wondered why she changed her mind

Being soft...

@SkippydoodleI am the same as you. Especially in circumstances like this, he probably doesn't want to be on his own at this time.
Seems a bit callous to me.

@BebbanburgIsMine

for now…

at some point she WILL want to move out

@Sedaniram
@Brewtiful

well it’s a good job nursing homes do exist isn’t it?? Because at this rate it doesn’t sounds OP’s layabout son will have a house of her own to take her in will he…

Lots of people don't have homes of their own at 30 in this climate. He works full time. I'm not sure that translates into being a layabout. The OP can have a conversation with him telling him to pay rent. Move into the spare room or leave - why doesn't she?

@scottishgirl69

he is thirty years old. Why can’t he live with mates or in a houseshare?

It's his mum who allowed him to move back in. He was living with a long term gf until Christmas. As I said previously if his mum wants him to leave surely she can have that conversation

@scottishgirl69

agreed. He might think he either lives with GF or with parents, but there are other options.

Eeew I wouldn't want my sofa to be a permanent bed. Is he trying to look all sad and pathetic to his ex, like that's going to win her over and she'll take him back out of pity?

Absolutely put your foot down about the sofa OP, and maybe a bit of tough love about acting like the adult he actually is.