AIBU to feel insulted.

[Leftoutthewill]

Mum died April 25, previous will stated that any estate was to be split between me and my sister. We should have been in line for a share of a 285,00.00 estate. My sister and her husband have taken responsibility for everything for my mum for the last 17 years, shopping, appointments caring for dad as he was dying, taking her on holiday, having her at Christmas, sitting with her at hospital for emergencies, helping her sort out bills, things going wrong with the house responding to her care alarm all thr while living 20 miles away. In the end she kept falling they took her to live with them and cared for her 24hours a day, eventually this became too much and she spent the last couple of months in a care home.
We just went every now and then and until recently we'd not seen her in four years.
My sister is executor of the will and chose to go through a solicitor. It turns out the six month probate finished on 12th February and I've recently had a letter to say that I'm due to receive some money but not detailing how much. I never received a copy of the will so have contacted the solicitor and have discovered that my sister has been left the majority of the estate and I'm left wih £10,000. She gets around £260,000
Apparently she changed her will about 12 months before she died, she has capacity according to a capacity assessment and its all legal and above board. Apparently there is very little I can do.
I feel like the solicitor should have written to me to explain about the 6 months probate but apparently the will was public information and was downloadable months ago. Apparently he onus is on me to find will and pay to download it then take action. I should surely receive more of a share?

She asked you for help and you did fuck all

Reap what you sow OP

I think the real insult in all of this is how you treated your mother and father. You're lucky you got anything to be frank.

Why though?

As I was reading your opening post I thought “in these circumstances I’d expect no more than a token, 5 grand maybe”. You’ve done well with £10k! Your sister did it all, at cost to her own life and her family life, all the freedom they lost, the compromises in daily life, change of lifestyle. All of it. You didn’t even bother to visit her at only 50 miles away for FOUR YEARS. I live 5000 miles away from my mum and make sure I see her at least once a year and would have nothing but gratitude for my nearby sibling who has undertaken to look after her in due course. I think your sister should feel insulted that you felt entitled not to share the burden at all, not help her out, not even visit for four years. Consider yourself lucky with ten grand. Seriously.

If your sister didn’t step up you would have less than £10k as your mum would have to have paid for costly care.

she would ring and crow. Do you know what that means? Do you mean she would ring and cry? To crow about something means to show off…

I live 60 miles from my mum and I see her at least every 3 weeks. I work full time, have a young child. Oh and stage 4 cancer.

50 miles? I’ve driven further to work and you couldn’t drive to see your own mother in 4 years or help out your own sister caring for her 24/7 when you acknowledge your DM was difficult. Think you should be offering the £10k to your sister tbh!

Why are you entitled to a bigger share? What for?

So...she would "crow about everything", but she was also asking for help?

You mean, she told you what she had to do?

100%

Not a typo shed rig and shownoff hen ask for help

Definitely a reverse thread. Surely noone is this entitled

If I'd of been your mother I wouldn't have given you 10K even. Maybe £100 just to prove that I hadn't left you out altogether.
You couldn't be bothered to travel 50 miles to see her? Many people travel that far for work every day.

50 miles! Haha, lots of people drive further than that to work everyday! My kids did a round trip to school at 11 years old of 40miles…

You’ve been left the 10k, you’ll have zero chance of challenging the will so I’d pipe down if I was you. If your sister hadn’t provided care every penny would have gone on care costs by the sound of it so be grateful your sister did step up.

Still think it’s a reverse though - surely no one can be this thick skinned!

You reap what you sow comes to mind. You hadn't see your mum for 4 years and did nothing to help her for 17 years or your dad when he was dying. Sounds like she was practically a stranger to you at the end, but you still want her money. A real cheek, you are lucky she left you anything.

I live around 900 miles from my mum, the longest I have ever gone without seeing her is three months. A lot of people commute more than 50 miles to work.

Lol

But why should you have had a bigger share? For what reason? I'm trying to understand.

I'd be annoyed if I were your sister that I didn't get it all! Looking after someone for 17 years is no joke. £250,000 doesn't cut it in terms of remuneration.

People go to live in different countries and still travel back to see their parents 4 years makes it sound like you were estranged before her death. If your sister did all the caring for both parents she's entitled to as big a cut as she wants in my opinion.

Seems as though some people are!

50 miles! I used to live that distance from my parents and saw them weekly most of the time (sometimes every 2 weeks). With the lack of concern/care you showed and that your didn't see DM for 4 years, be grateful you even got £10K.

This has to be a joke!

How often did you ring or facetime if 50 miles was too far to go to see your mother? I assume at least twice a week???

Your mum left her money to the person who cared for her in her final years. I don't think anyone can complain about that. You didn't care for her, you don't deserve to be left any money.