AIBU to feel insulted.

[Leftoutthewill]

Mum died April 25, previous will stated that any estate was to be split between me and my sister. We should have been in line for a share of a 285,00.00 estate. My sister and her husband have taken responsibility for everything for my mum for the last 17 years, shopping, appointments caring for dad as he was dying, taking her on holiday, having her at Christmas, sitting with her at hospital for emergencies, helping her sort out bills, things going wrong with the house responding to her care alarm all thr while living 20 miles away. In the end she kept falling they took her to live with them and cared for her 24hours a day, eventually this became too much and she spent the last couple of months in a care home.
We just went every now and then and until recently we'd not seen her in four years.
My sister is executor of the will and chose to go through a solicitor. It turns out the six month probate finished on 12th February and I've recently had a letter to say that I'm due to receive some money but not detailing how much. I never received a copy of the will so have contacted the solicitor and have discovered that my sister has been left the majority of the estate and I'm left wih £10,000. She gets around £260,000
Apparently she changed her will about 12 months before she died, she has capacity according to a capacity assessment and its all legal and above board. Apparently there is very little I can do.
I feel like the solicitor should have written to me to explain about the 6 months probate but apparently the will was public information and was downloadable months ago. Apparently he onus is on me to find will and pay to download it then take action. I should surely receive more of a share?

My MIL died and left nearly everything to DH. The other sons got very little as they had done very little for her, didn't make any effort, barely contacted her and were quite happy to leave us to do all the care despite at times us almost begging them to help as we were struggling to do everything.

Sucked to be them, sucks to be you.

Your sister is grieving whilst you are boohooing about all the stuff you can't buy with someone else's money.

Yep!

Given that the average cost of a care home is £5K per month in UK, depending on area, if your mum had moved into residential care when the falls started, rather than being cared for by your DS and BIL, but for their intervention there could well have been nothing for you to inherit.
Be grateful for your £10K.

But someone had to do it, for your mother’s sake. Otherwise she’d have had a much poorer quality of life.

If your mum was of sound mind and as long as she wasn’t coerced into changing her will, I doubt there’s much you can do.

why did you only see her once in 4 years?

50%? I wouldn’t have given you 50p!

So your sister rang you asking for help, you say it was hard work so you declined and left her to do it all and yet you think £10k is an insult.
lol

The reversest reverse ever to be reversed.

Ah. So your sister even asked for your help, and you refused.

And despite your mum being difficult, your sister did what she could for her. While you didn't visit.

I'm sorry op, but had you made even a token effort the situation might have been different. This is entirely on you.

Because I live about 50 miles so it's been difficult ibfelt pushed out and thought fuck it you deal with her then.

If this is a genuine thread rather than created for clicks, then surely it is a reverse?

DH’s aunt left her estate to her brother and her niece, DH’s sister. They had about 250K each. We had 10K.

DH’s sister spent much more time with the aunt than we did. She had always been the favourite and the two of them went on holiday together and she stayed with her at Christmas etc.

During her last illness, we visited her in hospital more regularly than SiL, but so did other relatives.

We weren’t expecting anything, so we weren’t disappointed. No one has any right to benefit from someone else’s estate.

And when you thought that you should have realised you were kissing goodbye to the will. I’m sure your mother knew how hard it was an was grateful for what your sister did.

toure not entitled to a share of the will and I’m surprised you got so much.

Not a reverse I just feelnl like ibshould have a bit of a bigger share. Not 50 50bbut more than 10k

You're within your right not to have a relationship with and care for your mother. She had the right to handle her money as she chose. You whinging now is just so crass, honestly.

You say your sister rang and 'crowed' about all she was doing but then asked for help. She wasn't crowing. You left her to do everything, she deserves to inherit everything. You should be grateful you're getting anything at all.

You didn't even visit for 4 years.

Fuck me, I've read it all now.

So dsis asked for help and you said no?
Thank goodness she did take care of your mum 'of her own accord' as clearly your mum needed the help and someone cared enough to give it her.

That someone wasn't you.
If the 10k is such an insult, don't take it. Give it away.
But you won't do that will you?
Spend it on the legal fees for the case you won't win.

If this thread is genuine then it's the best example of Karma I've seen in a long time 😂

Well done that mum!

Tough.

0/10 for trolling effort OP

Well your mum clearly thought fuck it, that selfish fucker is not having 50% anymore

I think you should maybe consider how much care would have cost if it were coming out of the estate for how many years your Mum needed care for.

I think you'd find most of your mums money would have gone.
10k isn't a great deal of money, but given your limited relationship I think you're fairly lucky to receive that.
I'm NC with my parents. I will never do care for them, and in line with that I'd say I want no part of the contents of their wills. It is quite literally not my business at either end of the scale. If either of my siblings decides to care for mum at the end of her life, they deserve every penny they get. She was difficult enough in good health.

Excellent!

50 miles is not that far.

I lived 50 miles from my parents and saw them every month at least.

Your sister even asked for your help and you declined because your Mum is hard to care for, but didn't consider how hard SHE was finding it and didn't care enough to even try and help, and didn't even visit for 4 years. I think you should feel bloody grateful that you were left anything at all.

Out of curiosity op, had you known that taking care of your mum would have resulted in a £140,000 boost to your bank account, would you have made a different choice?