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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to feel insulted.

577 replies

Leftoutthewill · 21/02/2026 14:52

Mum died April 25, previous will stated that any estate was to be split between me and my sister. We should have been in line for a share of a 285,00.00 estate. My sister and her husband have taken responsibility for everything for my mum for the last 17 years, shopping, appointments caring for dad as he was dying, taking her on holiday, having her at Christmas, sitting with her at hospital for emergencies, helping her sort out bills, things going wrong with the house responding to her care alarm all thr while living 20 miles away. In the end she kept falling they took her to live with them and cared for her 24hours a day, eventually this became too much and she spent the last couple of months in a care home.
We just went every now and then and until recently we'd not seen her in four years.
My sister is executor of the will and chose to go through a solicitor. It turns out the six month probate finished on 12th February and I've recently had a letter to say that I'm due to receive some money but not detailing how much. I never received a copy of the will so have contacted the solicitor and have discovered that my sister has been left the majority of the estate and I'm left wih £10,000. She gets around £260,000
Apparently she changed her will about 12 months before she died, she has capacity according to a capacity assessment and its all legal and above board. Apparently there is very little I can do.
I feel like the solicitor should have written to me to explain about the 6 months probate but apparently the will was public information and was downloadable months ago. Apparently he onus is on me to find will and pay to download it then take action. I should surely receive more of a share?

OP posts:
Bronext · 21/02/2026 15:18

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

goz · 21/02/2026 15:18

Leftoutthewill · 21/02/2026 15:17

No not a reverse not saying is hould have 50 per cent but I don't think she should have virally of it.

You had virtually no relationship so it lines up.

blondebombsite13 · 21/02/2026 15:19

Your mum wanted you to get £10k. You’re getting £10k

Why do you think you should get more?

TheLurpackYears · 21/02/2026 15:20

So contest it if you feel you are entitled to more.

Willowskyblue · 21/02/2026 15:20

How lovely to be left £10k when you had virtually no relationship with your mum.

Leftoutthewill · 21/02/2026 15:20

She did everything for her and I'm saying that I didn't. I haven even the best daughter but 10k is just and insult. I wouldn't mind it if she got most like 70:30.

OP posts:
shhblackbag · 21/02/2026 15:20

Good for your mum. Your sister stepped up in every way, it sounds like.

How can you honestly write all that out and still think you're hard done by? An inheritance is not a right.

WearyAuldWumman · 21/02/2026 15:21

Leftoutthewill · 21/02/2026 15:17

No not a reverse not saying is hould have 50 per cent but I don't think she should have virally of it.

  1. Why had you not seen your mother for 4 years?
  2. Why do you think you should have more than 10k?
Bronext · 21/02/2026 15:21

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

ErlingHaalandsManBun · 21/02/2026 15:21

Leftoutthewill · 21/02/2026 15:17

No not a reverse not saying is hould have 50 per cent but I don't think she should have virally of it.

Yep your sister should have virtually all of it, as she did virtually all of the care for your Mum and thoroughly deserves it.

Take your 10K and feel glad that you got something.

shhblackbag · 21/02/2026 15:21

Willowskyblue · 21/02/2026 15:20

How lovely to be left £10k when you had virtually no relationship with your mum.

Exactly!

CockSpadget · 21/02/2026 15:21

Leftoutthewill · 21/02/2026 15:17

No not a reverse not saying is hould have 50 per cent but I don't think she should have virally of it.

Of course it’s a reverse, otherwise why go into the details of how and what care was provided, and if you really hadn’t seen your mum for 4 years how do you know so much about the falls etc.

CalmTheFuckDownMargaret · 21/02/2026 15:22

I think your sister deserves that money for doing everything for 17 years including a long spell of letting her live with them for 24 hour care, whereas you didn’t even see her for four years. I’m baffled that you’d feel entitled to half purely on the basis that you are siblings!

DaisyChain505 · 21/02/2026 15:22

An inheritance is not guaranteed and it is 100% up to the person who died to decide where their money goes and how it is split.

Your sister sounds like she did a hell of a lot for your mum and their relationship obviously meant a lot to her.

YABU to challenge your mums wishes.

aCatCalledFawkes · 21/02/2026 15:22

Leftoutthewill · 21/02/2026 15:20

She did everything for her and I'm saying that I didn't. I haven even the best daughter but 10k is just and insult. I wouldn't mind it if she got most like 70:30.

Did you pay anything towards the care home?

I think asking 30% for doing nothing is a bit of an insult too.

Daisyfields101 · 21/02/2026 15:22

I presumed that this was a reverse.

What was the reason that you didn’t help with your mum or see and visit her?

WearyAuldWumman · 21/02/2026 15:23

Leftoutthewill · 21/02/2026 15:20

She did everything for her and I'm saying that I didn't. I haven even the best daughter but 10k is just and insult. I wouldn't mind it if she got most like 70:30.

I'm trying to understand why 10k is an insult?

Brightlittlecanary · 21/02/2026 15:24

Yeah you don’t get to not be involved then put your hand out op.

Zucker · 21/02/2026 15:24

Why do you think you're entitled to more?

HisNotHes · 21/02/2026 15:24

Definitely a reverse. If not then you’ve answered your own question in your own post.

Leftoutthewill · 21/02/2026 15:24

She would ring and crow about everything she was having to do and ask for help this is howbI knew.
I'm not saying she didn't take excellence of her she was a fucking difficult person to care for so I said I couldn't help. I just feel that she took her care of her own accord I didn't make her do it !

OP posts:
Anonanonanonagain · 21/02/2026 15:24

You got out of it what you put in.

MyDeftDuck · 21/02/2026 15:24

babasaclover · 21/02/2026 15:01

You didn’t care for her for 20 years and didn’t even see her for last 4 years of her life but now you want her money? YABVVU

This
I am surprised you have the nerve to ask OP

sesquipedalian · 21/02/2026 15:25

OP, given the circumstances you describe, it wouldn’t have been unreasonable for your DM to have left everything bar a few keepsakes to your sister. Look at it another way: had your DSis not taken care if your DM, she might well have had to go into care and the money from her house would have been swallowed up paying for it.

tilypu · 21/02/2026 15:25

If you had two children op, and one, with assistance from their husband, had taken care of you and your affairs for years and the other hadn't even visited for the last four, what would you do with your estate?

Unless you have a massive drip feed that you have very good reasons as to why you were unable to visit, yabu.

I am taking you on your word that this is not a reverse.