To ask for reasons NOT to get a dog?

[Waheymum]

I'm pregnant with my & DH's second child, first is a toddler. DH desperately wants a dog. I'm left with almost all childcare because he works irregular hours, and this wouldn't change if he had a dog so I'd be left looking after two children and a dog. I take DC1 out to groups/soft play/etc most days so it's not like I'm sitting around at home to look after a dog. On top of this, I just don't want one: I'm not ready to commit to a dog, they're a lot of work, I couldn't just take a dog out with my DCs to kids' activities.

AIBU not to want a dog at this time, and could you relay some experiences/stories that explain why it's a bad idea?

The money.
Grooming..you're looking £40 at least every 8 weeks if you need it clipped etc

Food. Small dogs less cost but if you've a big dog and want to feed good quality food and not crap you could be paying a lot. My dog costs me about £25 a month..he's 8kg. A big dog, say German shepherd at 40kg is going to be over £100. This is for good food and raw.

Care. If you're out all day or need a walker. I get an exceptional rate for daycare but you're looking £25 a day. Walking £15 and hour. Oh and if you dont have a well behaved dog (see effort below) you can kiss goodbye to just being able to get them in anywhere.

Holidays. £25 per 24 hours

Insurance

You cant get away with not having alternatives loke daycare or a walker if you cant do it yourselves. Under exercised dog = naughty dog.

Exhaustion. Puppies are incredibly tiring to begin with. I was lucky as got my dog at 16 weeks (although not recommended) so he'd go 11pm to 5am when I got him but younger pups you'll be up in the night.

Effort. A well behaved dog needs training, training, training. I dont mean fancy courses....although thats another expense but time and consistency. Everyone says to me what a good dog mine is. Yes, because I put in the work.

I dont have children so the cost doesn't even factor for me and ive the time.

You forgot the main reason - having to pick up
shit on a daily basis.

Knowing what inknow now i would NEVER agree to this.

Reasons

• he cannot care for a dog due to his hours so wants you to raise it. You dont want to.
• A newborn and a puppy is likely going be horrendous for you
• daytrips become impossible unless you have totally flexible relatives 5 mins away.
• holidays may require expensive kennels (add £400 to the holiday) and you may well nit want to leave them in a kennel. I couldnt face it so it cost me £80 per day for a house sitter.
• the WORK.... they need non negotiable work

• cleaning the bowls and eating area
• feeding
• 2 x per day walking
• training
• playtime

• the MONEY. The cost groomer is £50-75 4/5 x a year, our insurance was over £600 per year by the end. Then there is food and vets bill (worming tablets etc) it all adds up. The daycare and dog sitting and walkers cost £££.
• damage your property.
• the dog may not do well with kids ours didn't so was very stressed which was hard.
• The attention drain. You finally have both kids down its 9pm and tour dof there whining and nuzzling you and you just. Want. to. Be. Left. Alone.
• the additional cleaning. The hairs. The smell.

I love dogs having one with one child was fine and manageable. When ds arrived.... it was totally different and I really resented the dog and how little dh did.
He had permanent excuses for doing fuck all and it was one area that was a real bone of contention.nh

Dogs are terrible for the environment. They have a big carbon footprint.

They make you fall in love with them and then they get sick with no warning 💔

but yeah I would never had a dog and young kids, way too much risk of things going wrong.

also if your DH wants a dog he needs to commit to looking after it!

They are such a tie.

As someone who is left looking after her H’s dogs and absolutely hates it - stand firm on this. Do not get a dog.

Don’t do it.
There’s absolutely no guarantee you will have a good dog who slots in perfectly with your family life.
We love ours but one of them is reactive, highly-strung, just basically extremely hard work, my day revolves around him and his needs and it’s bloody tiring.
I’ll never have another dog.

came here to write the same !

I have a dog and I love him, have trained him well and he’s been in the family all
his life (8yrs now).
BUT he is a bind.

He thrives on a set routine and is only as calm and easy as he is because of our routine. Be realistic, do you get up at the same time every day including weekends so a dog can be walked at 7 or 8 each morning… every day?

He needs 2 walks a day and these happen at 8am and 2pm whether I like it or not. This routine and these outings means he’s chill the rest of the day but if I am late he follows me around staring at me!
He needs lots of company, luckily I work from home and we don’t leave him home alone for more than 4hrs as that would be unfair on him.
If we want a dog free holiday I pay £75/day for a dog sitter. That can double the price of our vacation.

If we want no a big day out I need to pay the dog sitter or get my parents to look after him.
If he is ill I get to sleep on the sofa or get up 10 times a night so he can go out to toilet.
He costs money - food, insurance, vets, medication for his allergies, grooming, pet sitters, treats and toys etc..

If you already don’t want a dog then getting one would make you resentful and frustrated at all these things. Not good for you, not good for the dog. Just say NO!

Because you have to pick up their shit and you have a newborn baby which should be your priority. What other arguement do you need. Find this exasperating.

No good breeder will sell you a dog with two children so young.

So any dog you do get will likely be riddled with defects (health, personality, behavioural) from a back-yard, unethical, breeder at best or a puppy farmer at worse.

Regardless of all the other dog relates chores you'll have...the high risk you'll be supporting puppy farming is the best reason of all not to buy a puppy.

I have two dogs. I have to get up at 5 am to walk them before I get ready , wake up my child, then go to work. Then I have to walk them again before I collect my little one from nursery. I literally spend hours walking them every day. Rain or shine.

I estimate the dogs cost us 7-800£ per month. In vets fees, dog walker, food, insurance etc. getting a dog is very expensive and it gets much more expensive as they get older.

You will struggle to go on any last minute weekend breaks, holidays abroad or long trips ever again. They are a real tie.

On top of that they need A LOT of training. A badly trained dog will ruin your life. But you will have two children to look after at the same time.

DONT DO IT OP

I would also say that if your DH persists once you have said an entirely justified no then he is a selfish dick.

This is exactly why I said no to getting a puppy while on maternity leave (my husband tried to convince me 3 times). Thank you for validating all of my arguments!

We'd love a dog (DH and I both had family dogs growing up), but I think we'll wait until our youngest starts school or is near to doing so.

We got our dog when DDs were 4 & 6, it all
worked out but initially was a nightmare as puppies are unpredictable and bitey and kids are kids.

DH had had dogs before so was happy to walk her in all weathers, but hasn’t taken on any of the mental load so she’s another thing that I have to deal with.

Want to go away? Have you checked availability at the dog boarder (and factored in the cost)?. insurance, vaccinations, food all need sorting.

My biggest regret is what a tie a dog is, as others have said you can’t do anything without making plans for the dog.

You don’t want a dog and that is reason enough - the age of your kids and uselessness of your other half is just extra!

You know all the rain we’ve had recently? Well you still need to walk the dog, in the rain, twice a day. Then you get home and you’re cleaning up after the wet and muddy dog and wondering if your gear will be dry ready for the next wet walk.
Heatwave in the summer? You can’t walk a dog in boiling heat so hello waking up at 5:30am to walk before it’s too hot on the pavement for their paws.
We had to cancel a holiday last year at very short notice because the forecast was 32 degrees and we’d have been stuck inside unable to go anywhere with the dogs. We can’t put them in kennels because one of them has issues so everywhere we go the dogs have to go.

Personally i think its amazing for kids to grow up around dogs and the amazing benefits it brings... but only if both adults are on board, youre not.
Are dogs hard work, yes, are they expensive, yes. Can dogs be trained to fit in with family life, yes. Can they be left for more than 4 hours, yes.... does that change you wanting a dog, no.

Your toddler is likely to try and eat the dogs food. They will step in a poo you have missed.
I am 100% with you. Do not get a dog.

We waited until our DC was a teen to get our dog and I’m so glad we did. The amount of work in the puppy stage took me by surprise (she is my first ever dog) and even now she’s older it still wears me down sometimes when I’m trying to clear the house of dog hair and repair the lawn that’s been wrecked by her poos and wees. But god I love her! She’s so chilled and gorgeous.

So all your reasons are spot on and your DH needs to suck it up.

At least your friend attempted to walk the dog. Our NDN got theirs a month before their youngest was born and it gets taken out a couple of times a week max because they can’t be arsed to drag the kids out too. Poor dog is so neglected.

So many reasons not to get a dog: the expense (buying, feeding, vet's bills, equipment, kennels...), the responsibility (training, walking, not leaving it for hours on end), the mess (hairs, toys, poo, dribble), noise if it's yappy, limits where you can go (shops, pubs, cafés etc). Dealing with children and dog could be a nightmare.

Vet bills. Look at the cost if insurance. It is huge.

Absolutely not. Puppies are harder work than children. They take a long time to train to walk nicely on the lead (some never do) so it will be impossible to walk a dog with a pushchair safely.

It is nigh on impossible to keep a toddler from prodding/chasing/annoying a dog even though they insist they’re “just nicing her”

garden will be a mess that needs inspecting before you can let any children outside

dog will become an annoying beggar because children will share ALL their food whether it is good for the dog or not

you’ll already be tired enough without a puppy needing a wee at 2am

dogs go through a teenager stage where all training his redundant and they become deaf to instructions

OP I have a toddler, baby and a dog, and whilst I love my dog dearly and wouldn’t be without her, it’s bloody tough. My dog was here first, I would 100% not have got a dog though after having two under two. The reasons people have listed are more than enough and all true. If anything I would wait until your children are at least a few years older

The scum line of mud.
Muddy floors.
Dander on all the surfaces.
Smelly dog beds.
Ticks and fleas.
The training.
The never ending responsibility which unlike children stays full time.
Even picking up poo from the garden means there is still poo on the grass. And urine.
Vets fees are astronomical and rarely anticipatable.
I repeat the mud! The hair!
Dogs that hump, nip, roll in cow pats and mud.
Shaking their coats when wet.
The hoover reeks.
The house smells of dog which you stop noticing but others can smell.

If your not passionate about dogs then these things make you resent the dog.

I have two dogs. I was a dog professional. I am looking forward to when my son moves out and takes his pets with him.