AIBU fuming over DS16 returning home drunk

[happyandhealthy4]

DS16 went to an event in London yesterday for 16-18 year olds alongside a few friends. He returned home at midnight and reeked of alcohol. Before he left I made it very clear, don't drink or this will be the last party you go to, and yet he ignored my warning and returned home smelling very strongly of alcohol. AIBU to be very angry over this situation? When I asked him whether he been drinking and what he was drinking he initially lied but later just ignored my questions.

Is it uncommon for 16 year olds to be getting drunk at parties? How should I proceed?

Oh come on! My DS got so pissed when he was 15 he threw up in our garden numerous times. I threw up in my mums wardrobe when I was 16! She wasn't mad at me either as she apparently did worse when she was 14 although she declined to provide details!

Crikey OP - I would be very careful, you sound very controlling.

Your son is going to rebel big time if you carry on with this nonsense

I find it quite shocking how accepting we are as a society of children drinking alcohol. I’m not saying we never did it, but all I did at that age was have a sneaky hooch between me and a friend by popping the cap off using rue radiator in her room 🤣. My DN regularly goes out and gets smashed. It’s not “fun” to go out unless you get drunk apparently. It’s a shame everything revolved around alcohol.

He will take to the drink after this!

So he didn't get in a fight, didn't hit anyone, didn't get sick, didn't get lost, didn't lose his phone/wallet, didn't sexually assault anyone, found his way home.

I'd give him a big hug for being so responsible.

You sound like a twat

Sounds normal, I did far worse at that age. Being angry or 'banning' him is only going to backfire and he'll want to do it more, or move onto harder things than alcohol. best thing is to discuss how to drink sensibly and stay safe whilst out.

Hirondelle, Blue Nun, Piat d'Or...

Good lad. Not surprised he stopped responding to you though. He smelled of drink but wasn't drunk... If I was him next time I'd come back totally shit faced 'cos you're going to respond like this whatever he says or does.

I came home drunk when I was 17, denied it then threw up out of my bedroom window. Mum didn't say a word, pain and humiliation were enough and I didn't do it again. Now that's parenting.

Just be glad he's not doing anything worse

I could go in pubs at 15/16

I went in pubs at 14.

I'd have drank/got drunk at a party at 16 regardless of what my mum said, I'd have lied too if asked about it if I thought I'd get grief for it. I'd focus on teaching him how to drink responsibly.

So he kept in touch when out and returned home at a reasonable time and didn’t seem drunk but because of how he smelt you’re ’fuming’?? Maybe someone spilt a drink on him? Honestly, you sound unhinged. Be glad that he seems to have behaved responsibly and leave the poor boy alone.

We are accepting of it because we all did it ourselves. Cans of cider/lager before the youth club disco, going into pubs with false ID's, house parties, and in many cases drinking with our parents, etc.

My dad's tactic was early morning hoovering the day after. Especially that tricky patch right outside the bedroom door that needed a special going over.

No bollocking though, as he would have been a massive hypocrite, as my sisters and I knew well, as he'd told us previously.

What's wrong with you??

You really need to get a grip, OP.

Were you never 16 yourself, OP?

Let him be young. It would be worse if he had no friends and didn’t leave the house at all. Having a few drinks at 16 isn’t unusual. You are overreacting in my opinion.

I was a really pretty good teenager. Best results in the school, volunteered teaching younger children and at the national trust, had a part time job, passed my driving test first time, no car accidents, never even did myself an injury on my bike. And I STILL got drunk at parties, in fact from 15 onwards not just 16 onwards.

He's stayed in touch, he's got home when he meant to. Forcing him to hide the fact he's been drinking is a lot more likely to end in disaster than the alternatives.

At 16 I was a punk/goth with dyed spiky hair, more leather clothes than Freddie Mercury, more make up than a Kardashian and a pair of red patent leather brothel creepers on my feet, I've never really been able to pull the "You're not going out dressed like that!" line with my kids...😁

You sound mad.

Be grateful that he's a normal teenager who has this once had too much to drink. Some of the problems on here make me thank my lucky stars.

I don't think it's great that we have a drinking culture, but he's not going to listen to any sensible advice you have on the subject if you overreact so much to one infraction.

YABU (among other things) for basing your estimate of how much he drank on smell rather than how drunk he was .

Where have you lived all your life OP?

How can parents not be prepared for this.

This is so true.

My kids drink far less than my generation did at a similar age. And my friends and I were at the well-behaved end of the student spectrum.