AIBU fuming over DS16 returning home drunk

[happyandhealthy4]

DS16 went to an event in London yesterday for 16-18 year olds alongside a few friends. He returned home at midnight and reeked of alcohol. Before he left I made it very clear, don't drink or this will be the last party you go to, and yet he ignored my warning and returned home smelling very strongly of alcohol. AIBU to be very angry over this situation? When I asked him whether he been drinking and what he was drinking he initially lied but later just ignored my questions.

Is it uncommon for 16 year olds to be getting drunk at parties? How should I proceed?

🙄 ok not illegal if an adult bought it. By the sounds of this thread probably they did...
Ok retract that part. But I still dont understand the attitude here?

Dear god
catch yourself on
be pleased he has mates/is popular enough to be getting the invites/living the teen life as it should be, experimenting, getting drunk/high and learning from it /making memories
unlike my SEN grandson who will probably never experience any of these fabulous life blocks
Chill out and turn a blind eye and be chuffed he’s a heathy teen being a healthy teen duck x

Because a lot of us realise that they will do it anyway, so its better to accept it and have him be open about it.

I remember about 25 ish years ago a girl of 15 and her friend had conned their way into a club and was assaulted by a girl from her school (having done the same I guess). A technique we were all told about if you were grabbed from behind by a man was to scrape your heel down his leg (back when we all wore heels when out and about) and the bully had done that and made a right mess of the girls leg. My sister and I looked after her and offered to call her parents, her mate had fucked off. She was determined that we shouldnt as she would get into trouble. The ambulance people couldnt convince her either.

Imagine that was your child. Too worried about your reaction to them drinking than tell you that they had been assualted and were in hospital, injured.

Thats why so many of us accept that we cant stop them, but we can at least make sure that they at least know that they can call us should something awful happen.

One of my colleague's daughters attended a university hall of residence - where they had to dress for dinner. Their daughter had to share a sitting room with another two students. One of the students was a nice person but she had a very strict Islamic upbringing and this was the first time she had some independence. She discovered alcohol and seemed to spend most of her time stumbling home thoroughly drunk and actually vomiting on the floor on several occasions. Things got so dire that my colleague's daughter took to exiting the premises via her bedroom window rather than venturing into the malodorous shared sitting room.

Back in the day, one of my classmates was allowed to move out when at university to some sort of select establishment for good Catholic girls. My friend had been to a co-ed school with slightly more liberal parents but most of these girls had been at single sex religious schools with very strict parents. My friend simply couldn't believe the amount of drinking that went on and young women manhandled up the stairs by their friends because they were too drunk to make it up there themselves by curfew. They also discovered boys and all sorts of shenanigans about men being smuggled in went on. The parents would have been horrified about what their daughters were up to.

I have sons. I have never given them any instructions as to drinking. They were sensible boys. One of them chose never to drink - with no pressure from me at all. The other one had allowed wine with dinner on odd occasions. He very soon worked out that he had a very low alcohol tolerance - I mean more than one glass of wine was about his limit before getting silly and giddy. He knows his limit and sticks to it. My mother sensibly never inquired about my drinking habits as a teenager.

In my experience, the stricter the parents the more likely their children will drink to excess when they have their freedom. If you ban your son from ever attending parties on the basis that he might have some small amount of alcohol along with sending you regular texts throughout the evening, he is soon going to end up friendless and planning to move out as soon as he possibly can.

Also, I told my sons if they ever got in trouble to call us. Whatever the time is, we will come and we won't lecture them. You should avoid your children not calling for help when they really need it because they are afraid of your reaction. We actually never got the call other than our son calling to report a minor fender bender in his dad's car. The one thing that does make me nervous is a whole carful of teenagers - even stone cold sober the serious accident rate rate increases enormously - and I urged them never to travel with a lot of other teenagers with a teenage driver at the wheel.

and your point is...?