Made to feel uncomfortable

[Scottishlassie10]

Now I’m all for people wearing what they want but I do think there is a time and a place. My husband was in the health club last night relaxing in the jacuzzi when a group of young women in their early 20s wearing bikinis that left little to the imagination (think thong bottoms and boobs barely covered) started parading around. They came into the jacuzzi which I know they’re entitled to do, however 2 sat next to him and 2 directly facing. It’s quite a big jacuzzi so they had no need to sit where they did. He was the only male in. He felt he had no option to leave as this made him feel quite uncomfortable. Now I may be unreasonable in my thinking but I do think if the shoe was on the other foot and a male was to strut around the poolside in a thong or a group of men where to sit in an empty jacuzzi in close proximity to a female complaints would be made.

These women wore bikinis in an appropriate setting, had a shower and got into a jacuzzi.

Ops husband has spun it that they were 'parading' around, rubbing their boobs and bums, and sitting close to him on purpose.

I certainly know which one is in the wrong, and it isn't the women doing normal things, it's the man sexualising them.

What point are you trying to make?
Because it sounds like another way of judging women tbh.

I’m his wife, not “the wife”

So this is a group of young women, and your husband - 60ish, I'm guessing? He thought they were coming on to him because of their mode of dress and temerity to have a shower while he watched.
They weren't interested in him.
I think he's protesting too much! 😂

A normal bikini with tits and arse covered, sure. Some bikinis have half of the tits out and the arse fully out. It’s basically akin to being in a strip club, except it’s a public place where children may be present. I do think it’s inappropriate.

Personally I don’t like men whose trousers fall down at the back exposing their butt crack, or those low rise trousers that show their pants in the street not at the gym, which you see all the time (women don’t do this). Or those Lycra shorts MMIL wear for cycling. However I know that’s the cycling fashion and if that means they all have to show their meat and two veg I’m not going to start a thread about it.

@Sartre Well unless the club has rules against it (and many do) then you'll have to live with it, because it's allowed.

You can only control yourself - your feelings of discomfort are your own to manage.

Yes, some aren't even suitable for getting wet! More beach club wear.
I agree with a pp, I think the girls fancied having the jacuzzi to themselves & it worked rather well didn't it?😄

Will no-one think of the men!
Girls and women being in possession of female bodies and not hiding them, nor showing appropriate "modesty" or shame.
No wonder he's traumatised.

I know it’s laughable to think they’d be coming on to some old fella at the spa. I remember being that age and anyone over 35 didn’t exist!

Well said.

True misogyny lies in less conspicuous places.

Yes, this is what most adults manage, even men.

I've noticed that from time to time we do seem to get an influx of people trying to claim, in various ways, that women are "just as bad as men actually worse, hypocrisy, double standards, misandry, attack of the evil predatory bikini jacuzzi girls, rhubarb rhubarb". There was a guy last night trying to suggest that women buy sex about as often as men do. He was just one recent example.

They used to happen when we'd had a thread taking the piss out of various misogynistic websites. Have we been laughing at Reddit lately or something?

That's actually the complete opposite of what OP wrote

They flatter themselves though. I remember when I was young older blokes were like this. A 50 year old colleague accused me of flirting with him when I was 24!
I suppose I didn't wear a tent nor have my eyes downcast.
Jezebel !

'Absolutely no man.'...Any other absolutes we should be aware of....? It would make life so much easier to know what 'No one' and 'Everyone' would do...that must be some dataset you have there...cheerio. pip pip.

No they don't have to dress like nuns but neither do they have to dress like tarts

Yeah, definitely

😂😂😂

It’s definitely got worse in the last couple of years. Lots of these misogynisttic ‘women’. Are they? That pile on and tell us how we should behave….

That women often dress in highly revealing clothing, but men generally don’t? Why do you think that is? Why don’t men turn up to award ceremonies wearing nothing underneath their tuxedo jackets, for example?

@ThatCyanCat It is remarkable how frequently the 'women are doing things I don't like - stop them immediately' threads come up.

I get quite tired coming on to repeatedly remind others that we do live in a free society and within the confines of the law, we can make choices that others disapprove of.

I am concerned that others would like the law changed to increase the control over women's choices in all parts of life.

I am older, and possibly old fashioned- and unapologetic about it. I don't think women are doing themselves any favours by wearing deliberately skimpy clothing and then complaining men look at them.
In this instance, I don't think thong bikinis belong in a swimming pool/jacuzzi . Beach, okay - their choice.

I suspect they did it to get him to go so they could have it to themselves. I think any group of four coming in would create some of this reaction.

Woah! This is 2026 isn't it?

Just checking I hadn't been transported back in time...