Made to feel uncomfortable

[Scottishlassie10]

Now I’m all for people wearing what they want but I do think there is a time and a place. My husband was in the health club last night relaxing in the jacuzzi when a group of young women in their early 20s wearing bikinis that left little to the imagination (think thong bottoms and boobs barely covered) started parading around. They came into the jacuzzi which I know they’re entitled to do, however 2 sat next to him and 2 directly facing. It’s quite a big jacuzzi so they had no need to sit where they did. He was the only male in. He felt he had no option to leave as this made him feel quite uncomfortable. Now I may be unreasonable in my thinking but I do think if the shoe was on the other foot and a male was to strut around the poolside in a thong or a group of men where to sit in an empty jacuzzi in close proximity to a female complaints would be made.

This just isn’t true. I’ve felt uncomfortable many times in my life, through no fault of my own.

Course you're not 😂

Well I'm fed up of the narrative women can do no wrong and anyone who critises a woman's behaviour is de facto a misogynist.

Given this narrative doesn't actually exist anywhere outside a few very very niche communities (and MN is not one of them, despite what an angry recent influx wishes us to think - there are bunfights galore among women here and plenty of criticism of women's behaviour, you'd be blind not to see it), then I do wonder where you've been living in the long life your username suggests you've had. It's not been in the real world, that's for sure.

And to be honest, even if this imaginary narrative did exist, and you were sick of it, it still wouldn't actually automatically put these women in the wrong.

My son would be incredibly uncomfortable in this situation. Not the bikini bit but the being in a jacuzzi with a group of people who knew each other, regardless of them being male or female. There are two issues with the OP, one being in a jacuzzi alone with a group of people who would be chatting and having fun, the other the being uncomfortable about teeny bikinis. The first one I understand and he got out. The parading women is just (I think) to add to the story and make it more one sided.

I wouldn’t think anything. He can choose to wear what he likes.

I’m not in the business of casting moral judgment on people because of their choice of clothing.

Brazen hussies they should put it away. They should cover up, put it away or they are asking for it. How dare they make men folk uncomfortable with their titillating skimpy clothes and capricious ways.

FFS are you serious OP.

And that’s his choice.

But I was referring generally to the comments on this thread not specifically about his behaviour.

He did leave or can you not read?

Why some women have to parade around with almost everything on show I don't know. Not classy in the slightest

Personally, as a woman, if 4 friends got in a jacuzzi and were noisy or chatting etc I'd probably leave because it just wouldn't be overly relaxing for me. But I'd never leave because someone is wearing something I don't like or because they sat OPPOSITE me? 😂 If my DH came home with this story I'd be telling him that he's the one who should be ashamed having watched 4 young women in the showers.

I don’t really like those bikinis personally but obviously can’t police what other women wear. I don’t usually go on beach holidays, we’re more into city breaks but I was a little surprised by the sheer amount of women’s arses out when we went on one last year. Men don’t feel the need to do this so I’m wondering why some women do? Is it genuinely a case of feeling more comfortable with their backsides out or are they attention seeking? Genuine question.

As for this behaviour, it does sound like they were goading him either for their own amusement or because he’s attractive. Completely inappropriate.

So many stupid comments. Of course some women “parade” and enjoy the reaction from men. Some young women know well what they’re doing and it’s got fuck all to do with them simply “being themselves” and everything to do with playing with their power.

Dont see the problem and fuss about this get over it what you see is what you get

Yes it was just him, hence why he felt uncomfortable.

Did he feel vulnerable? Was he worried they might sexually assault him?

Maybe they don’t want to be your version of ‘classy’ 🤷🏼‍♀️

'Parading around' aka walking is allowed.

Strutting, swaying, sashaying also allowed.

Some moves in the gym are pretty exposing - RDLs etc could look like 'someone pushing their bottom at me'. But it's just an exercise for your hamstrings and glutes.

As for dance classes or gymnastics - my goodness, feelings of discomfort would abound. Shaking your bum, your boobs, your wobbly bits.

I'm imagining some of the posters here sitting on the sidelines with disapproving pursed lips at all of these 'displays'

@Scottishlassie10 what exactly do you think these women were trying to achieve?

Isn’t that rather the point though, that men in general don’t dress in an exhibitionist attention drawing way because “fashion” doesn’t dictate that they should?

But these women weren’t behaving badly. That’s the point. The husband and the OP were just being judgy. And seemingly so are you.

I did read it. I clearly just worded my sentence wrong. I meant that if he felt uncomfortable then he was correct to leave.

How would you expect people to get from A to B in a leisure or health club? Should they have wore bin bags over them so as not to be accused of PARADING... like surely they were walking (perhaps confidently). What constitutes parading?

Also he could have just looked elsewhere 😂

I find women complaining that the mere presence of a couple of male constitute a threat, so I think you (and them) are completely ridiculous.

Groups can be annoying - because they are loud and command the space by their number, but it's pathetic that adults feel "uncomfortable" for the reason you are pushing!

Exactly, the hypocrisy and double standards is mind boggling.

Yes a man’s penis is a sexual organ and should absolutely not be on public display in any circumstance. But if you’re saying a woman's body in a bikini and a man’s penis on display is the same then you are completely wrong, you are the one sexualising a bikini

Agreed. It’s the same with some women at the gym who feel the need to wear hot pants. It doesn’t make sense to wear these, nobody can tell me they’re more comfortable than leggings because that’s bollocks and besides, you have to sit on gross germy equipment so don’t want your bare skin touching it. I can’t think of a single reason to wear them other than desiring male attention. Men don’t do this for women, they wouldn’t wear a tight thong on a beach either.

Friday night style posting seems to arrive earlier every week